I've been dating this wonderful guy for 8 months. he def. has emotional problems after some woman broke his heart about a year ago after a 6 year relationship. he gets really depressed alot and says it has nothing to do with her, but i somehow feel that it does. we've stopped seeing each other in the past, but we've just become so attached its hard to not talk to or see him. he's 8 years older than me, im a senior in college and he says he feels like he's hurting me. The other day he threw this crazy fit (crying, screaming) telling me he wasnt good for me and i wasn't good for him, that he needed to be alone, and that he couldnt promise me a relationship. He said his ex really damaged his self esteem. I really love him, and wish he could see how great he really is. we eventually made up, but didnt come to a conclusion. i keep thinking about it. i'm on a break, and went away for a week. its been 4 days, and i havent contacted him. i dont know what to say to him anymore.
2007-03-08 02:50:17 · 16 answers · asked by Sunflower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let him go and tell them that if he needs you, you'll still be there. However, if you meet a new guy, go for it. This guy needs some time off from relationships. If you two are meant to be you'll end up together again. But don't get stuck and moored down with him right now. Be patient. Everything will work itself out in the end.
2007-03-08 02:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by smartazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ending a serious relationship is like experiencing the death of someone you love. Knowing that the person is still alive and well makes it worse because it nurtures the hope that someday they might get back together. As with a death, there is a time of mourning that must take place before someone can get over that loss. It has only been a year so I can understand that he might not be completely over her but he should be getting better. If he is not getting any better then he will likely need some help in overcoming these feelings of loss and worthlessness. You should absolutely encourage him to get counseling. Tell him your feelings and that you would like to have an ongoing relationship with him but at some point he is going to have to let go of the past. Hopefully, with some time and counseling he will move on and appreciate what he has and you guys can have a normal happy life together. Good luck.
2007-03-08 10:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should just give him some time alone for now. He needs to take time to get over her or he will never be able to have a normal healthy relationship with anyone. Did you ever hear the saying : If you love something let it go, and if it comes back to you it's your to keep? Well it's true. I belive that he does care for you or he wouldnt have had his little fit in front of you like that. He is probobly feeling guilty that he cant love you like you deserve because of what that ***** did to him. Just talk to him about it, and if need be, give him some space. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-03-08 10:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by Candace T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be completely honest with him about how you feel. Tell him what you wrote in the question. In my opinion, one year is not long enough to have totally moved on from a six year relationship. But if you don't talk this out with him (and I mean both of you saying what's on your mind) it's not going to resolve itself. Don't let the age thing or the school thing interfere. My bf is 11 years older than me. Communication and openness will help you both get on the same page. Good luck!
2007-03-08 10:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by poet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still has some emotional issues that need to be resolved before he can commit to a relationship with you. He has said that. I would continue to be his friend without being the person that he tales out his issues on. You are a senior in college. This is the time in your life when you want to be exploring the possibilities that await you after your graduation. In college you have had the opportunity to really find out what you want in life, what causes you are passionate about and to really develop some practical approaches to problem solving. Enjoy this time. This is one of your kairos moments and it is up to you to make the most of it. In the meantime, he may work out those issues and get a game plan to get on with his life.
2007-03-16 09:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know once I met this girl at the local Orange Julius counter and we started to date but then I got bored with her after she decided to take her nice red car to the auto mechanic down the street where the old Arby's used to be which was not as nice as the one where the old Hardee's used to be because that one had a really cool drive thru sort of like that one in the Nicholas Cage movie that was a cult hit on Cinemax before he became a super big star despite the fact that his real name is Coppola which he wanted to hide much like this one other girl I met once at the fair who claimed to have a funny last name but I never got to find out so I dumped her within five minutes after buying her a funnel cake that looked a little bit like the Eiffel Tower, but what do I know.
2007-03-08 10:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by public_sector_moron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go don't let him pull you into this depression. Hes been hurt and hasn't found his way back to reality yet so he wants you and everybody to feel sorry for him.Hes got hatred in his heart and needs time to over come it. Don't be his victim just let this 1 ride. Besides you're a college student find someone who's on your level and live life to the fullest!!!!
2007-03-08 11:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by canice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know how special he is to you. Tell him that "You may think that your not worth anything which is totally wrong cause yknw why cause 2 me your worth more then what the universe could offer" Tell him that you love him & care about him say 2 him" it doesn't how many times you push me away
I'm still gonna be here" I know its gonna take alot out of you just let him know that you need him & his support just as much as he needs you & your support.
Sorry I hope that helped you in any way.
Take it easy mate :)
2007-03-08 11:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by ¸¸.•*´`*♥ Selah 21 ¸¸.•*´`*♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
distance yourself, the last thing u want to do is get involved with someone who has unresolved grief going on. when we have a major hurt in our lives, the only way over it is to go through the grief process, if we don't it comes out later on, maybe in the next relationship. he is still not over her, so say nothing to him, let him come to u if he wants to. he can't promise u anything, and u need to take his words seriously, as sometimes love can't cure all. he is damaged, needs therapy first. he is still living in his past, and unable to move on to his future. all the love in the world won't help him unless he is over her.
2007-03-08 10:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have similar problems with the guy that i am with. I can't wait till people answer your question so that maybe I can get some advice too. I really wish you luck and I know what you are going through.
2007-03-08 10:55:11 · answer #10 · answered by Katie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋