how can i not fall too deep in a relationship?

Question

i always fall too deep too quickly before it goes long term but they always don't work out cause of my stupidy
because of this i always take failures really hard and have a difficult time recovering
so how can i think in a way so that i can say "if this doesn't work out i'll move on quickly..."?
i'm also wondering am i normal to be like that?

Answer 1

a lot of people are this way, dont worry.. just breathe, you'll move on in time.. listen to music and find new things to catch your interest and distract you in the mean time.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say that it's NORMAL to do this. However, I will say that it's very common.

People tend to fall into a relationship deeply and quickly because they have a LONGING desire for somebody. They want to feel cared about, important, needed, and most of all...loved...usually by just about ANYBODY. Thus, when they get with a guy or get with a girl, and everything is peaches & cream (like it always is in the beginning), they get used to that feeling, and they want it to last. So they start putting more and more into the relationship fast, thinkin' that if THEY give their all, then the othe person will too.

Unfortunately, I have been in the same boat as you are, and I'm still working on getting myself out. The best advice that I can give you is to just keep reminding yourself that you're young and only looking for fun. Sure, it'd be okay to have a long-term relationship, but at the same time, are you REALLY ready to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with ONE person??? Starting NOW???

I know it sounds tempting, but really think about it. There's so many different people out here, and u may meet somebody u find very interesting right now, but what will you do when that interest eventually wears off and you meet somebody else who is 5 times more exciting?? But ur married??? You wouldn't want to cheat...but yet you wouldn't want to let the opportunity pass u up, right?

So just think about it, and remember to enjoy your life now, because it goes by quickly, and one day it may be too late. Life is simply too short to live it with regrets.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It is very hard to hold your heart back when u are falling for someone. I don't know what it is that u do after that, that u think is the destroyer, but that is the part u should work on. Try not to enter a relationship with the negative thoughts of what if this doesn't work. Just go through the stages and enjoy the time u have with that person, and hope for the best. Know in your heart that yes no matter what u will be fine, and u know u will heal, but don't always think it won't work out. Good luck

Answer 4

gurl i feel teh same way beleive me. but you gotta learn to truly love yourself. hang out alot with your friends, find the value in them, take the relationship just one step at a time and stop yourself from giving all your time to him, just do it and learn to enjoy your own company. Thats how you wont fall too hard and you'll still be all together if it doesnt work out. And never give him excuses, if he acts weird or is a jerk and u really like him think with your head, the one meant for you will always have you on a pedestil.

Answer 5

Dont fall in love immediately. Dont make your emotions rule over your mind. Only be in love for the right person and if you are really very sure of your decision because you need to be prepared physically, psychologicaly and emotionally when you do commit in a relationship.

Answer 6

Dating is a major hassle you can't beat yourself up about it. There's no such thing as saying or doing the wrong thing that ends your relationship.Be yourself! And if that ain't good enough screw em, keep trying.But a little piece of advice stop looking for love when the time is right things will fall into place.

Answer 7

unfortunately, you are very normal. big hearted fool. women can sense this and some will take advantage of you. if you are giving more in a relationship, take a step back. you deserve more and that is what you are really trying to say. nobody can love or care too much, problem is, you are not getting this back.
there is a person out there that is worthy of that big ol heart of yours, be a little patient. if you can!

Answer 8

Work on improving yourself. When you are proud of your accomplishments you will hold others more accountable.
We get desperate when we want to 'settle' because we think they're good enough for us. Or we think we're not exactly a great catch, so they may improve later or we can change them.

Don't get any fixer-uppers. Get one that's good to go.

If you're a fixer-upper yourself, know why they are choosing you; they may not think much of themselves either.

Answer 9

that is perfectly normal, i do the same thing!
But you just have to know that when the right one comes, they won't ever leave, so if a relationship doesn't last, it isn't meant to!!!