Pregnant+ 3 kids+ 2 big dogs+small house=Divorce?

Question

Hello! I need some help w/an issue that is driving my husband and i apart. We are a family of 5, soon to be 6, in a small home. My husbands 2 Weimaraners also live IN the home. The male is 104 lbs, the female 85. I want the dogs to be outside dogs, my husband says it is WHITE TRASH to have dogs in your backyard! Then why were kennels and dog houses created? It is unfair to me, because having them in the house is like having 2 extra kids. I am a stay at home Mom, so they are with me all day every day. They take up limited space, and get no excersize, except for 1/2 hr. a day supervised outside. (No fence yet, either!) They are almost 1 1/2 yrs. old and driving me crazy! My husband refuses to move them outside. He says he will take the dogs over me any day, and that I can move out! I do not want 2 giant dogs in my house when the new baby comes! How am i being unreasonble? I'm also stuck with their crates in my living room. He says we'll get a fence, but they'll still live inside. Advice?

We've been married going on 9 yrs, and just got the dogs a little over a year ago.

To Trikkiki...it takes 2 to get pregnant, and we have been married w/ children longer than these dogs have been in our lives! I grew up with golden labs, and they always lived outside, and we were not and are not white trash. Do you have a husband, or are you married to a pet?

To totsntwins04: When we 1st got the dogs over a year ago, he promised a fence. Still no fence. He wanted them and guess who gets stuck caring for them? Me. His ONLY interaction w/them is to pet them. Between our oldest daughter and i, we do the feeding, the backyard cleanup, and taking them to and from the vets. So, it's easy t osee why he loves them so much, he has no responsibility for them but to pet them, and they in turn, love him for that. I, in turn resent him and the dogs. He refuses to do more than that, and says that since he works full time, and b/c i am an at home mom, it should be MY job b/c i have nothing better to do!!!!

Answer 1

Honey that is a tuffy, but sounds like dear old hubby is being a bit stubborn. Can you and him sit down & compromise on maybe leaving the dogs out during the day and in at night? I do agree with you though them big dogs do not need to be around the baby in a small house,& betting that moving is not an option right now it is gonna be hard.And as far as having a dog in the back yard makes it White Trash, Tell Your hubby he is wrong He needs to take a drive through the Rich part of town, He will be shocked at the dog houses that are custom built to match the owners homes around the neigborhood. Now i will agree with him that having 10-15 dogs with out the proper dog house and only chains to tie them up evey where looks kinnda trashy but 3/4 of Americia has dogs and if they are not small ones or the people has no kids then they are probably inside, bust most are out side espeacially the bigger dogs. I wish you the best good luck

Answer 2

I personally don't agree with outside dogs. I find it cruel to keep them outside in the rain/snow/whatever. I do think that a compromise is what you need. I think a fence is a great idea. You can let them out to burn off some energy when they are driving you nuts, and they can still sleep inside (perhaps in the crates?) at night.

However, I do not suggest keeping them outside a lot with no interaction. Dogs who are kept outside and do not get enough interaction are bound to become aggressive sooner or later. That would not be good if you have children in the home.

I'm curious as to why the dogs bother you so much now? Were you against getting them from the start too?

Answer 3

I am going through a very similar problem. My fiance' is a country boy, and I am a city girl. We have a great Pyrenees pup (a very big dog) and are currently in the process of rebuilding a 1900's farm house. We're squished between living at his parents farm house, and my city apartment. Him and his entire family believe that they can just let the dog out and run. However trucks are always speeding down the road, and I've done a lot of research on the breed, they cannot be outside w/o being in a fenced in area, they also allow her to beg, jump, and receive food whenever she pleases. Its created a lot of tension between me and the family. Its my dog, and I want her raised differently then what they're doing. But i need to come to a compromise. Perhaps you & your family could do the same. If your dogs are well trained, and know their boundaries...you've already said they'll have a warm place to stay...and you don't feel like they'll be in any danger from things like cars. It should be perfectly fine turning them into outdoor dogs. Try starting the process slow, so your husband can see that the dogs will be perfectly fine, and even happy outside. Another bonus would be if you turned the dogs into a working dog. The Weimaraner's are amazing at hunting, tracking, retrieving, pointing, watchdogging, guarding, police work, search & rescue, and agility. Giving the dogs a "job" to do outside will create a purpose for them, and make them a lot happier. Don't forget to give them extra love and affection. The best of luck to you and your growing family!

Answer 4

You can buy the invisible fence. And put the dogs out for a few hours in the afternoon and then again for a hour or so why your husband is home. That shows him you love the dogs and him and it works out that they do not have a fence yet. But they have freedom to play. And larger dogs need 2 to 4 hours out doors for mental health and physical health. They will be less likely to have hip problems as they age.

A fence can cost $5,000 for a medium yard. A invisible fence cost $135.

Answer 5

I would try to compromise with your husband. Ask him if they can be put outside during the day(in a fenced in yard) and sleep in the house at night. That way they are out of your hair during the day and he still can see them, at night when I assume he gets home. I would also talk about how dogs can hurt little kids. I'm not sure if you had them when your other kids were first born but some animals can actually "hate" kids and harm them. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I think that your husband is being a little unreasonable. Could you guys maybe reach a compromise and have the dogs be outside during the day (they need the exercise anyway) and then in the evening when he gets home they can be brought back in for the night? This what we did with our dog when I was younger.
It is a houseful to have to deal with 5 kids and a newborn and 2 dogs (who are essentially 2 more kids) all by yourself during the day. Your husband needs to meet you halfway on this issue.

Answer 7

Tell your husband that you will be perfectly happy to live with the dogs inside. But only if he buys a bigger house. One that has enough room for everyone AND an extra room for the dogs. Personally I think it sounds as though he puts the dogs before you, you don't need a man like that, I'd say send him on his way, btw you would get the house in the settlement for 2 reasons, you are pregnant, you are the children's primary care giver. Your husband would be stuck with the house payments, child support, and allamony.

Answer 8

There is a saying "When momma aint happy, aint no one happy"....put your foot down and either tell your husband to build a fence or call someone to build the fence and out in doggie doors. The dogs can come and go freely without you stopping to have to let them out and watch them while they do their thing or exercise. And you can take the kids out to run with the dogs. You get some space in the house, the dogs get space outside the house, no kennels or dog houses need be involved (cruel) and he gets to keep the dogs. Everyone wins. It's either that or do the humane thing and find these dogs a good home that really wants them and can take care of them properly, because it doesn't seem like either one of you really gives a rat's a** about them--he is leaving them there for YOU to take care of and apparently you don't want to...both of you need to compromise for the sake of your marriage and the kids and, yes, even the dogs--they are important too...if they are HIS dogs, he should be taking care of them, building them a fence, buying a bigger house, or finding them a new home.....

Answer 9

You should not have dogs if you expect them to live outside all the time. That is cruel. I do think you guys need to have a long talk about this. How about you get a fence and have them out when you are home. When your husband comes home you can bring them in and he will be there to help you. Buying a bigger house sounds like it is not an option. You could always refinance and add another room or something... don't let this ruin your marriage...

Answer 10

Sorry honey but dogs are not meant to live in the backyard. Yes you can keep them out there for a good chunk of the day as there are two so they won't be too lonely. But dogs need to be with their pack.

*IF* you are keeping the dogs (and/or husband) the dogs need to be walked at least once a day, preferably twice (even if they have a fenced yard). Now they are your husband's dogs, so he should be the one walking them. They shouldn't be left out more than 8 hours total in a day, and really you should check on them every 3-4 hours or more often in hot/cold weather. Even with nice kennels etc.

Also talk to your local SPCA it may even be illegal to house dogs outside all the time. Do you have a basement that the crates could go in? It would be nice to ban the dogs from wherever the kids spend most of their time, for your sanity. My mom doesn't let her dogs in one room so the cats have space, and I'm thinking kids are more important than cats. My dog is allowed in the main livingroom and his crate is in here. BUT that is to allow him space from my toddler as he isn't fond of kids (*sigh*). So really he only come in here once in a while. The rest of the time lately he sleeps in the bathtub because he doesn't like getting moved all day as we go from bedroom, to nursery, to livingroom.

Note I said IF you keep the dogs. Right now they are being neglected. And you are being neglected. Not good.