Help. How do I break up after 8 years. It was a mistake.?

Question

I never loved her. she was just my buddy. We never had sex.Both of us came from broken homes & had been in broken relation- my ex-girlfriend had just left me, she was just divorced. She was never my type. It was a relation of convenience, but over the yrs shes gotten very possessive of me & wont let me go. she even stops others from interacting with me. she threatens suicide / revealing my life details etc., if I split with her. i just don't know how to get out of this mess.

Answer 1

it falls back to intent
if your intent is to break up with her to hurt her then what ever her actions after you say that will be your problem
if your intent is to break up with her to be free for your self and to stop this show before it goes any further then your problem is over with what ever she does isn't your problem if you let it in then your just asking to be someones problem!
iw ould be kind to her and a let her down gently and explain everything you typed EVERYTHING!

Answer 2

Like the song says "You have to be cruel to be kind". Meaning: it may hurt her but you have to do it to be fair to her. Leading her further into the relationship will only hurt her more. Try to be nice but if it comes to her not letting go and wanting to kill herself - that is not your fault. If she reveals details of you just let the chips fall where they may. It sometimes gets harder before it gets better but there is no time like the present. If she has any real love for you she won't want to hurt you just because you are being honest. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Just say that the relationship friendship doesn't work for you and that you don't want to hang out together anymore. And leave without looking back.

If she threatens suicide hand her a suicide hot line phone number. You're not responsible for the choices she makes only for the choices that you make. If she kills herself, then get some therapy to establish that it wasn't your responsibility and move on. Nutcases have a way of making us feel responsible for them; not our fault that they are nutcases.

Get out while you can!

Answer 4

Don't let her manipulate you into staying in a situation that is not healthy. You need to break it off and just go - don't look back!! Ignore the threats - you can't stop her from doing anything she wants anyways. Consider moving and not letting her know where she can find you.

Answer 5

If you've been at it for eight years, it is a very difficult circle to break. I must admit though, I am bit reluctant to believe you when you say you have never had sex for the eight years you've been together. Sex is one of the blenders and binders of relationships and to say you two managed to stick together for eight years without sex makes it difficult to believe the entire story.

However, assuming your story is true (which is of course unlikely) - I would advise you see a counselor or a social worker. Those people deal with such issues, and please try and be realistic with them - they won't buy your story of an eight year relationship without sex.

Answer 6

You definitely need to get out of this but be careful. A few years ago my bf threatened to kill himself if I left him. I knew I had to leave so I did and he tried to kill me and then eventually killed himself.
Unfortunately the result will be negative regardless of what you do so u should do whatever it takes to leave and stay away.

Answer 7

just pack and go...don't drag it out...she will threaten and may even make an attempt at suicide if you tell her you are going...make a clean break....call her later and try to explain but for a time have no contact.....good luck

Answer 8

Say its over and mean it. Walk away