2007-03-08 00:53:15 · 20 answers · asked by andrea t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
****************BEST ANSWER HERE**************
You can't. He'll be offended because he hasn't broken his dependency for approval. It's a learned behavior.
You just have to mention that you should call for him next time since he's going to run to tattle-tale.
What this does is perform problem-solving for him to show him that he's being immature about how he handles this and embarrasses him.
He may be offended initially, but the end result is what you want - him to be independent and stand on his own two.
2007-03-08 00:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think first you need to make him understand that calling his family to tell on you when there's a disagreement isn't okay now! He has to learn to stand on his own two feet. That shows a lack of respect for you, and if you aren't okay with it, you guys need to have a sit down sometime when both of you are feeling relaxed. If you're going to marry, he should understand how you feel and at least make an effort to curb such a bad habit. Explain to him that adults in committed loving relationships do fight sometimes, and that those are one of the things that needs to be kept to the two of you only.
Don't expect any miracles after marriage, start fixing problems now. Good relationships are like gardens, both people have to work on them, and keep on tending to them, if it's going to do well.
2007-03-08 09:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a regular habit for him? You should have broke him of this a while ago. This does not bode well for you...sounds like you may have to deal with an interfering family...I do not envy you at all! You need to have a chat with him and reach some sort of agreement on some grounds rules in the event of a disagreement. Of course, doing this may even cause him to consult his family. Hmm...I really don't even you right now!
2007-03-08 08:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't be able to make him understand. Instead, why is he running back to his family? Is he really mature enough to get married, if he still needs them at any sign of conflict? Also, both of you should be able to work things out. If not, then he may run other to people/places whenever there are difficult times. Time for him to get off the teet.
2007-03-08 08:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by Bill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i dont have the solution, but i've lived it! for years my husband would do that. the crappy thing, is he would only tell them what i did...he wouldn't say what he did to help with the fight. one night, i came home from a bachelorette party (i was maitron of honor) and he was drunk. we fought, he threw me into walls a couple times, I called the police and he was arrested. well he told his parents that i came home drunk, jumped his case, and when he argued back i called 911. He totally left out the violece part!!! So i got the police report, and the photos they took and mailed them to his parents. However, even though he doesn't run to them with every upset anymore, they still treat me like dog meat. They treat me as if I have something to prove to them. Good luck. I hope you find the answer, because it can ruin your marriage.
2007-03-08 08:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by kari w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought everyone knew that. Even before I was married, I never discussed any disagreements we may have had. Just tell him, whatever happens between the 2 of you stays between the 2 of you. And, the 2 of you will work it out on your own.
2007-03-08 08:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by aj1964 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to tell him the wedding vows said," forsaking all others" meaning you come first and when there's a disagreement you need to tell him that you didn't marry his family you married him and only the two of you know what goes in your household and the two of you need to discuss it not his family.
2007-03-08 09:05:25 · answer #7 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are using the wrong term in Man. How about Mommies Boy. be prepared for this and a lot of trouble IF he is doing this now. He hasnt grown up yet, and you are in for a very rough time my dear.
2007-03-08 08:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd think twice about marrying him. Unless you can get him to stop calling his family he will always do so. Believe me I know a couple who is talking divorce now because he calls his mother for everything and she calls him for everything. UNBELIEVABLE.
2007-03-08 09:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by LG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a momma's boy. I deal with that too. I had to start giving his mom the cold shoulder. No offense to her, but I had to make him see that I did not want her in my personal business. If he was going to tell her everything about me, I was just going to keep my distance. I didn't want her to know what was going on between us and then on top of that hating me in the inside and acting as if she loved me.
2007-03-08 08:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋