2 years ago, my first love walked out on me, leaving me with 6 month old twins. He left me for another woman. 2 years, I have suffered, been unlucky in love, and had convinced myself that I was meant to be alone forever. Then, 2 months ago, a guy walked into my life and completely changed it. We have been together 2 months and things have been AMAZING! Except for one small problem. My issues. I don't trust him, I get mad over the little things, I can feel myself starting to push him away and build a wall around my heart because I'm TERRIFIED I'm going to get hurt again. This guy treats me like a queen, he is so good to my kids, they adore him, all of my friends love him, my mother loves him, and they all tell me that I don't see how he looks at me. Yet, I find myself checking up on him. I check his phone records to see who he calls, I check his myspace to read his messages that he gets and sends, I check his friends pages for comments he's left.
2007-03-08 00:48:46 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The sad thing is, he TELLS me about them all. So I really have no reason to snoop around. But I can't help it. He has given me absolutely no reason to not trust him, yet, I don't. He wants me to go back to his home state with him in a couple of weeks so he can introduce me to everyone. He doesn't hide his relationship with me, he doesn't "shop" for other girls, nothing. Besides work and sleep, every minute is spent with me.
How can I stop this, because I know if I don't change, I'll lose him and I don't want to lose him. I'm HAPPY...for the first time in a long time, I'm happy. And everyone can see the difference...even in my kids, because they are more jovial then they were. But in the back of my mind, I just think he'll cheat on me and leave me like my ex did. I know if I don't stop this, he will leave. If I don't stop bit ching about small things, he'll leave.
Can anyone offer any advice or maybe share a past situation similar to this. I'm willing to do anything to make this work.
2007-03-08 00:55:35 · update #1
Let it go, the past hurts, your anger, resentment.....let it go and marry this guy ASAP. When you start to distrust him clean something, get your mind off of it as soon as you can, you have small babies and you need stabilty
I believe the best thing is to get married it doesn't matter how long you have been together and stop checking up on him before you ran him away with your insecurity, there are a lot of women who would love to be in your shoes.
2007-03-08 07:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I feel your pain and he does sound like an amazing guy that every woman would like to have . If you do not let your past go , you will loose him . The one thing that you must remember is this your ex walked out on you and those precious babies and you are feeling anger , more so than hurt.
Please find a way in your heart to forgive the past and your ex in order for you to move ahead in the future . Go with him to meet his familly and stop being soooo paranoid .
Good luck in life and in love
C
2007-03-08 09:08:10 · answer #2 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not this happens to be common what you are doing. The man you were with who fathered you children walked out on you and them and now you do not trust men.
To work through this the best suggestion is to get some professional help. A therapist can help you and will. It will do you a world of good and keep the man that is so amazing for you and your children
2007-03-08 08:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing something very destructive to your relationship. I was in love with a woman with all my heart. I didn't cheat or hurt her. I was better to her than any woman in my life, but she didn't trust me. The jealousy and controlling got too much. It destroyed us. She didn't even want me to have friends or spend time with my family. We're not together now and even though I will always love her, I will never go back to that controlling psycho life.
2007-03-08 08:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop it! You are making sure you will be single again very soon. Don’t do this, really it is so awful to have someone check up on you like this. You will bring about the end of this relationship just to prove to yourself that you were right.
Its not about trusting him, its about trusting yourself again. Trusting that you are enough for him! It is scary to take these steps but it can’t be worse than where you are now. Be brave, you are certainly worth the effort it takes to be happy.
2007-03-08 08:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By doing that you create your old relationship from your new one. Instead of that you should try to relax and enjoy. And, you should choose which life you prefer. You got your second chance...take it and live it...think of your children life too...
2007-03-08 09:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by slavka m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so? i do the same thing to my guy. i know he loves me i just don't trust men and i much rather leave before get hurt again. if i see something suspicious i ask my guy. he understands. but i ask i don't accuse
2007-03-08 08:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let me know when you find out. I am going on four years parted and it still hurts.
2007-03-08 08:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time. You have to let go and give a little too.
2007-03-08 08:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
life is about takeing risk i mean i kno what ur going thro ive been there ....but i mean ..im not saying not to let him in but do it slowly ..talk to him about it....if that helps ....
2007-03-08 09:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by juggalette jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋