To all men out there, please need your advice!...I am in love, what should I do? Be patient?

Question

I got to know this guy about a year ago through the inet. At that time I was not happy at all in my relationship for many different reasons.
He was also dating a girl, his girlfriend now, then.
He called me two to three times a day for about 2,5 months.
We were on the phone for sometimes 4 hours and also had phone sex.
I suggested a date but he refused because now it was serious between him and his grilfriend, they were only dating before.
So I told him we should not have any contact anymore because I couldnt feel it leading both of us anywhere. He agreed.
So for almost four months we didnt hear anything of the other.
We got back in touch a few months ago and we talk about how glad we are both that we didnt betray our partners.
My relationship with my bf is now over which I told him and
I know that he is not happy in his relationship too. I try not to call him and he calls about every two weeks.
I have fallen in love with him over this time and dont really know what to do

Answer 1

That is the danger of the internet - people can create any "persona" they want to present to you while they hide beyond anonymity. Often written communication presents someone in a better light - in person, whatever comes out of their mouth is communication. On the internet, that person can give their communication lots and lots of thought before it is delivered. It gives them an opportunity to create things and to present things in a much different light than how they really are.
Bottom line - it is so easy to deceive and be deceived when you are dealing on the inet. Find your true love elsewhere - in person.
You said "I know that he is not happy in his relationship too". How can you possibly know that? Because he told you? Another question is why he isn't happy? Could it be that he is not happy because of the way HE is i.e. cheater, abuser, jerk, etc.? Is it possible that it's just what you WANT to believe?
If he was so unhappy in the relationship, he would be out of the relationship. Don't buy his stupid sob story and excuses - his problem, not yours.
Basically, the guy is in a relationship. The fact that it is with someone else means that he is choosing her over you. You don't need someone else's guy. Find your own guy (in person) who wants you above anyone else. Believe me, he's out there if you look (and quit wasting time on someone who's not available).
Good Luck!
p.s. I know you asked for advice from men, but I (woman) couldn't resist. I wanted to help and have seen and dealt with about every kind of BS out there!

Answer 2

if you are not totally confused --- then i certainly am --- no disrespect --- but i can't get my head around " phone sex " ! i know it is a new terminology --- but what true satisfaction was to be gained by that ?
i really think you need to take stock and get your life back in order instead of dwelling on the past etc . you need to try and get out and mix with others as best you can --- you're not doing yourself any favours by backing a loser . good luck

Answer 3

Loneliness can lead anyone to see things, a little blurry. Check your Loneliness at the Door? ans go slow. Thes e Internet Romances, are scarry. I'm not saying it's bad. Just check him out, like you just met him. Godd Luck