I will shortly be meeting my ex for a drink. She ended things 1 mth ago after going out 9 mths on the basis her feelings had changed. This coincided with her suffering from depression. She also suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
She raised the issue of us splitting and I said to her I thought she was depressed (she has a history). She admitted she was & went to the dr who prescribed prozac and counselling. 1 wk later she said she wasn't depressed, didn't need counselling and it was our relationship causing her unhapiness. We broke up.
I didn't contact her to give her space. She contacted me recently on the basis she owed me money. I said to not worry about that. She then said she had a dvd of mine which she could bring round if I wanted. I wasn't sure what to make of her contact
I decided to ring her to chat. We have now agreed to meet. I am not sure what her intentions are?
I do miss her & want to be with her but am not sure how to go about it witout scaring her off?
2007-03-07 23:47:16 · 6 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
When you meet with her, let her take the lead. Get your CD and if she wants to give you the money she borrowed, just accept it. She might need to give you the money on the basis of her emotional needs so do not refuse if she offers. She already knows how you feel about the issue. Don't push for anything. Just leave the door open. If she wants to contact you again, she will. Keep yourself in circulation socially. You may hear from her in the future, and then again, you may not. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-08 00:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression can be very frustrating & confusing for the sufferer & anyone close to them. She needs to get to the root of the problem with counselling as her Doctor recommended. Prozac just masks the symptoms, so is not a solution but can offer some temporary relief. You can offer her support but I think she really needs professional help. I don't know whether you can persuade her, I think she has to realise this & want to do it for herself. As for a relationship, I don't know the situation inside out like you do, but it sounds as though it might have to go on hold for a while until she is more stable & knows what her own intentions are. I hope you manage to resolve the situation, it's not an easy one.
2007-03-08 00:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has depression i suppose you just need to make sure she knows you are there if she needs you - as a friend or more (if that is what you want aswell). Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can be hard to deal with and her emotions are probably all over the place right now with depression. Is she dealing with her depression - ie councelling/medication? Explain to her that you want to be there for her but are not sure how to be and what is the best thing to do for her while she if feeling the way that she does. Communication is important. Also bare in mind that depression and Chronic Fatigue syndrome can be recurrent in ones life. Good Luck
2007-03-07 23:55:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jizz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People have relations for sex,money or emotional support.In this case it is not clear what was the basis for your relation.Relations break when the underlying need is not satisfied.It is not easy to rebuild relation with out ascertaining the reasons for parting away.From what you have stated it would appear that financial matters was the underlying cause of the relation.If it is so think about it.If a relation is not dominated by emotional attachment it cannot last long.You have to make a self analysis for the breaking away and then decide.
2007-03-11 18:10:05 · answer #4 · answered by leowin1948 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the meeting and be pleasant and friendly. Play it by ear but try not to show any overt signs of wanting to get back together. Hear/feel her out on what the reason is for meeting up - maybe moreso than the DVD or the money she owes, and if it goes well, leave the door open for another meeting if you think you'd like. Then move forward until your course of action is clearly apparent. Stay or go.
2007-03-07 23:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depression is awful, since nine out of ten times people don't even know what causes them to be feeling that way.
I hate being around depressed people since it usually rubs off on you and you somehow feel guilty. Since I am out of the relationship I would stay out, but then I haven;'t shared what you did. I would be cautious about this one though.
2007-03-08 00:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋