I feel horrible. When i was still deciding which ones of my friends were gunna be the miad of honor i slipped up and said that i wanted a friend i had known for only 2 years to be my maid of honor (i was a little drunk) but i ended up picking a friend that i have known since i was 3 years old and we are also best friends.
My other friend flipped out and even though i picked her for one of the bridesmaids she is still angry with me i dont know what to say. What can i say to make it better?
But i do think i have choosen the right friend because my long time friend would not have got angry at me at all she respects that this is my day.
2007-03-07 23:23:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Stress and drama will definitely bring out some peoples true colors. A true friend would understand and would take the bridesmaid position that you have given her and go with it and make the best of it to make you happy. But wow I mean she knows that the other girl has been your friend longer. You could try to just sit down with her and explain why you chose your other friend over her but sometimes their are just some poeple who really don't care why. But that's really all you can do. Talk to her honestly and hope she understands.
I was the Maid of Honor at my best friends wedding right our of high school. We graduated in 04 and she got married in 05. Well in 04 she had a baby and she also had another one last September. I am getting married in June and asked her to be in my wedding (as a bridesmaid.) Well she said yes. This January she found out she was pregnant again. i had already picked out the dresses and I wasn't going to do it again so I said this is it. It's up to you now. My bridesmaid dresses are kind of expensive too so like the say I called her to tell her all the girls were going get the dress she tells me she has no money. After she agreed that she wanted to pay that much for a dress. So she got some from her mom and was going to go and get it. That was a month ago. She has still never went and she never called me to tell me anything and I refuse to call her. When she got married I was their for her. She told me what I needed to do and I did it. Out of all the girls to do this to me I never would've thought it would be her. I was at the hospital when she had both of her babies. But I am just going to send her a wedding invitation and see if she comes. Her son was also supposed to be our ring bearer. And also the week that she was supposed to get her dress she ran into somebody else in my wedding from high school and they talked about both being in the wedding. So like I don't know, but I'm really upset. If she ever decides to call me I will let her know exactly how I feel. She could've told me no instead of just never showing up. But just giving you some insight of the whole people show their true colors at the most inconvenient times. But I wish you the best of luck and remember that if your friend stays mad at you at least you have a truer friend that you know will always be their for you.
2007-03-08 01:44:13 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. By the time the wedding comes around the hurt feelings should be done. Your new friend should understand that if you have a friend that you've known since 3 then she deserves to be Maid of Honor. Tell her that you really want her to be part of your wedding, but if she feels that she can't be a bridesmaid then you understand. I'm sure that when faced with not being a part of the wedding party at all she'll realize how silly the whole thing is. If she doesn't then I guess she wasn't that great of a friend to begin with.
Good luck...and remember to surround yourself with level headed people who realize that the wedding is about you and your future hubby not about them.
2007-03-07 23:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have 2
2007-03-08 01:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can either tell the other friend (the one that didn't get picked), that you're very sorry to have misspoken when you were drunk. Tell her that you value her so much as a friend, but that you just have to have your childfriend do it. Doesn't she have any childhood friends? Doesn't she understand?
Or, have two maid of honors. I've seen this done plenty of times. You don't have to have two best men for this to work. And if one is married, then it's even easier because you'd have a maid of honor and a matron of honor.
2007-03-08 01:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call and ask your friend to dinner, the two of you can talk things over and try to work around your frustrations. Let her know that you were too hasty (and too drunk) in making your decision. You really want all of your friends beside you on your big day. Let her know that you chose your childhood friend because of the deep history you share. Let her know that you want to have her as a part of your wedding day memories. If she can't understand and be glad that you did at least choose her to be a bridesmaid, then she needs to grow up.
2007-03-08 03:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh...wedding stress. The shorter-term friend SHOULD understand; she is being terribly immature. Be warned...she may make the whole planning process and the day difficult now. Confide in the maid of honor (you can call them whatever you want, by the way...honor attendants, maid and matron of honor...I had a maid, a matron, and honor attendants...and everyone was happy). Keep her up to date on the antics of the difficult one, and she will step up for you and help keep conflict to a minimum because she sounds like a genuine friend.
2007-03-07 23:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i got married 6 months ago and you would not BELIEVE the drama i went through with that same problem.i lost a few friends but in the end it was a blessing because weddings bring out alot of things in people you would not believe and it will show you who your REAL friends are. at that time you have enough stress without having to deal with anything extra.if she cannot understand that it is YOUR day and YOUR decision than thats something she has to work out not you.if you truly felt like you made the right decision than stick with it and move on.or have 2 maids of honors its YOUR wedding,you can do whatever you want,but just know that you cant please everybody.good luck and congrats
2007-03-08 00:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by mrs.dynomite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing else for you to say. You've made your choice and everyone has to abide by that. If this person can't accept your decision, that's too bad. Hopefully, she'll be in the wedding. If not, pick another bridesmaid and move on. Best wishes!
2007-03-07 23:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry! Girls are such drama queens, she will get over it. I have a similar problem myself. I've found that allocating them jobs and responsibilities has helped. Perhaps one can have a more pivotal role in planning the hen do and the other in the wedding day. Remember it is your day! Why not have her as deputy chief bridesmaid, who's to say you can't have two anyway!!! xx
2007-03-07 23:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Sunshine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married soon and have been thou this also. You just have to be honest and tell her that you care for her as a friend but you have enough stress on you right now to have her act like a child. so basically she can get over it or hold on to it and she will hurt herself like that. Just remember that its your day and you do what makes you feel good. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful marriage
2007-03-08 02:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by gettingmarriedinnc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋