my mum suffers from depression which is breaking up our family. i know it's not her fault but it ruined my mum and dads marriage and now i think it's ruining our current 'family'. she doesn't actually notice me and if she does its because she wants something from me but never is it love. i know she probably does love me but she never shows it due to the depression..i know this sounds really attention-seeking like but it's true there is'nt that mother duaghter bond between us. any ideas as to how i could try to create one?
2007-03-07 22:19:09 · 8 answers · asked by LusT aFter INsaNIty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
have you looked up depression so that you know about it and what she is going though so that you can talk to her about it and let her understand you know kind what she is going though ?
that is a start and it will make her feel like you care about what she is going though and you are trying to understand her and her problems
here are some links you can start with
2007-03-07 22:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear U haven't mentioned why your mother is so depressed. Maybe I could give U more accurate answer. Well talk to her. Tell her that she is not responsible 4 anything happened in the past. N no matter what U are always there for her n U love her from bottom of your heart. Ask your father to join your conversation if he can. Make sure that U have eye to eye contact while talking. It will definitely effect her.
To create a bond U can do these things::--
Tell her about your day everyday. What is currently going in your life. If U went out somewhere whether 4 shopping or anything else make her go with U n ask her opinion about it. Or at least ask if she want anything. Hand made surprise gifts always work. I am sure it will help :)
2007-03-07 22:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Your mom can be cured by A healthy lifestyle that includes a balanced diet and exercise and strong social and interpersonal connections may help some older adults minimize the risk of developing depression. Those who have experienced major depression and recognize the return of their symptoms can seek help immediately to minimize their effect.
2007-03-07 22:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a round about on her. tell her you determined by no potential to get married because of what it did to her and how you note why she by no potential went searching for romance back because adult males are all a similar... tell her you too will start up ingesting to dull the loneliness that your self imposed penitentiary motives you. tell her seeing her so unhappy has made you already know that even having children isn't adequate to furnish happiness so that you received't have any. perhaps in the experience that your a sturdy adequate actress and may want to discover some tears you could wonder her into action to circumvent because she will be able to no longer keep herself. you would possibly want to be shocked what a mom will do for her infant. sturdy luck luv.
2016-10-17 11:07:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to tell sometimes the difference between mental illnesss and personality traits.
You may not be able to form a bond with her. Most women report that they have troubled relationships with their mothers. You could offer to go to some counseling sessions together but if she is unwilling to do that you may need to limit your contact with her.
2007-03-07 22:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there is a bond but it's just not obvious right now. Try talking to her about this and tell her how you feel. If you want to save your family try going to therapy and getting help.
2007-03-09 00:07:28 · answer #6 · answered by me m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off my own mother and i were in the same shoes i feel you are in currently and it ruined two of her marriages and our relationship. i know that depression is an illness and can be not of there choosing but they can choose how to live with it and weather or not hey are going to let it ruin thier familys and childrens realtionships. if they dont want it to do that than they wont let it... if they have the motivation to not let it ruin their life as well as their childrens
simply put your mother does hava a choice on her actions maybey not her feelings but her actions she can live in it or live with out it controlling her life. dont let it control yours either. i know the neediness and the complex situation this is and how i got things back was simple i sat down talked to her,i completely opened up. and we tried being friends first. (my mother got to the point where things got abusive and i had to move away but i was not taken away i made the choice to be the adult and move on)i put my foot down told her what was acceptable and what was not and that certain things would not be acceptable. i wanst going to be used in anyway and was going to have respect. if she didnt want me in her life after i put my foot down on what was acceptable and whats not than thats her loss and true it would hurt for a while but i would get over it. i wanted to be a mom and wouldnt let these things ruin any more familys or lifes! step up to the plate and take a stand. depression is an illness that can be controlled and but can be worked thru maybe she needs the motivation to do so. my mom stepped up to the plate and realized she had to take this seriously and work thru things herself. meds can only do so much!! if she didnt want to get better she wont!! ... things could either not be or be stronger. but someone has to take a stand on things if the mother wont. .....dont get me wrong im not saying be mean but lay it on the line put things out there dont let this ruin more than it has too. be sure tho not to come across cross or anything just that this "rollercoster" has to stop. once that is up in the air and if there is an agreement then try be friends first than work for that mother and daughter bond. if things are as bad as you say than this would help
remeber to not "attack" them tho when standing your ground it the worst thing you could do. but be firm on your belief and needs. stand up for your beliefs and needs you have to be tru to your self and if you dont this dangerous pattern will go on. its dangerous to you her and the family! if things dont happen the way you want afterwards make peace with your self for at least you said and did what was responsible and mature and tried to work things out you can't make them do anyting they dont want to. forgive and move on don let them take advantage and turn things into a pity me party either. be understanding and sympathtec but dont let the situation turn into where they walk all over you. things worked out between me and my mother b/c of this very thing:) hopefully this will help you as well
2007-03-07 23:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by patricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first show her to some good psychatrist
2007-03-07 22:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by antaryami001 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋