My husband & I have been married for 7 years and been together for 11 years. There has never been any animosity between us. We are expecting our first child this year and their first Grandchild and we expected them to shower us with offers of buying cot/pram/pushchair etc etc. Everything you need for a new born. Anyway, they haven't and we think they should have at least offered some help. They are not short of money and neither are we but we just expected some financial help.
My husband is an only child so its not like they have had to fork out for any other siblings.
Do you think we should just come out and ask them outright??
2007-03-07 22:09:14 · 34 answers · asked by Sharon B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you're not short of money why would they interferre? I'd think the parents of a newborn are responsible for buying all these things? If they already had grandchildren and could get hold of hand me downs that the other grandchildren had used then I would expect help. They'll probably want to spoil their grandchildren with the frivilous fun and pretty things, the serious things are up to you.
2007-03-07 22:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by Skippy 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My goodness give them a chance. Your baby has not been born yet so there is plenty of time for the grandparents to make a gesture or offer a gift to the baby. It is not a god given right that others should purchase items for your baby this is simply down to thier generosity and kindness. If you are concerned about getting the items you require for your baby then maybe you could begin by buying them yourself, as you stated that you are not short of money and if you can't spend it on your own child then whats the point? So stop being so selfish and get on with it. Good luck to you and your baby!
2007-03-08 21:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by jan h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't come out and ask them, that's just rude. Why did you just expect that they would buy you everything, especially when you can afford it yourselves?
Why would you want them paying for your baby anyway? Since finding out about my pregnancy I have made is very clear that gifts are accepted but i planned for this baby and therefore I will provide for her.
Anyway you never know what they might have planned, maybe they're waiting till you've had the baby and then they will 'shower you with everything'.
Sounds to me like you and your partner are a little spoilt. Just because they haven't offered these things does not mean they don't care.
2007-03-08 03:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bugs 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Or, they might be awaiting the birth, they may be thinking that they could tempt fate if they buy before your baby is born? Invite them out on a shopping trip for baby things and see what happens? Some people think along the lines of "they have money so don't need us to buy them anything" and its not because they don't want to they may believe you don't need/want them to. I know what you mean though first grand child etc you would think they would be falling over themselves buying items but, not everyone is like that. Take them along with your husband for a shopping spree and buy items and you could say "if you would like to buy something we wouldn't mind mum and dad?" If they don't, then get the hint. At least you have money and don't technically need there's! All the best for the future. xx
2007-03-07 22:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should NOT ask them out right, it is your baby and yes their grandchild but they may not want to interfere, you never know they may be letting you both enjoy and get on with it and then later in life they will help out. My in laws didn't buy anything just a few outfits but that is fine I do not think of anything less of them as I know they will offer lots of love and advise and that is more important than material goods. Just look on the positive think of all the babysitting they can do!
2007-03-08 22:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask them, that would be incrdibly rude. I'm sure they're just waiting until the baby is born before showering it with gifts.
There could be many reasons behind their not offering yet. My mum, being of a certain age, was incrdibly superstitious about buying baby items too early. She told me that I shouldn't have a pram in the house until the baby was actually born !
Give them a break, they're your in-laws, not cash-cows !
2007-03-08 01:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by Gail H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My sister had this problem.
Turns out her mother in laws family had a cousin that they showered at 8 mos along. The baby didn't survive and the mother couldn't have any more children. The mother was left with all of the baby presents. The family as a whole decided not to give any gifts until the baby is born.
I have also heard it is an old wives tale not to give gifts until the baby is born; it is bad luck.
2007-03-07 22:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by adriannamarie19 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think it is quite strange that they haven't said anything. Lots of people here are saying 'you shouldn't expect anything' but that's not true. We have conventions in our society about when gifts are purchased, and this is one occasion when you could expect something from the grandparents.
If they do plan on buying something once the baby is born, you'd think they would say that they were going to do that.
It does depend how far along in your pregnancy you are though. Some people are supersticious and don't believe in buying anything until the 7th or 8th month. So they might be waiting until then.
Maybe you should drop a few hints when you see them. Say that you have bought almost everything, and not many things you need now, and maybe that will prompt them to say something.
2007-03-07 22:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Make a baby registry. Maybe they are waiting to know what things you'd like. Babies R Us has a great registry, you walk in and they give you a scanner and you just scan everything you want. They even give you free baby invitations. Then you can let them know about you registry and the stuff you chose. They'll probably shower you with stuff at the baby "shower". :) Hopefully anyways.
2007-03-08 07:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by michellekyle12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its the normal thing to do is offer to buy something but for all you know in their lives that is not the done thing and never happened when they expected their child.... also, they could be buying something as a surprise. Either way dont say anything as you will only look like a gold digger or just stupid.
2007-03-07 22:14:46 · answer #10 · answered by 2 good 2 miss 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋