I have just come back from my holiday to vist my familey. I had a fantasic time and met really nice people but i when i came back to my boyfried it wasnt the same. I think i realised what i could have in a relationship while i was away. There is not spark between us anymore I dont know if i love him.
I have been with him 4 years now and i cant see myself without him as im used to him. I dont want to loose him as a friend either but he will not be friedns with me if we spilt he said he couldnt cope.
I met a guy over there that i got well with and cant get him out of my head. I will be over there quite often from now on as my mum know lives there. My boyfriend dosent want me to go back as he know of this close relationship.
I do dont no what to do. Im going back this month to see my mum n this guy to C how i feel should i see how i feel and make my desion or should i give it another go to see how it goes with my fella or should i end it and move on? Will things ever be the same?
2007-03-07 21:11:30 · 17 answers · asked by drinky16 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it sounds to me like you have a case of the grass being greener on the other side this new guy do you actually know him ?? how well ?? you could end up ruining things with your boyfriend of 4years for a man that could be a woman beater or anything i think you need to forget about this new guy for the time being and concentrate on working out wether you want to be with your boyfriend let me tell you if you split with your boyfriend for this new guy and then say after a few month or so u realize you made a mistake and try get bk what you had with your boyfriend of 4 yrs do u really think he would take u back ?? and if he did would he have any trust in you ?? i very much doubt it!!! he would always be wondering when another guy would come and would you dump him again like i said 4YEARS is a long time to be with some one, and as for being friends do you know how hard that is when you still love someone.. what you are basically saying is that you want to stay friends with him so that if things don't work out with this new guy then your boyfriend of 4 years will still be there for you
2007-03-07 21:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by loubylou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you have fallen out of love with your boyfriend, can you imagine being without him? If you can, then I think its time for you to make the break. Remember though (with reference to the other guy) - that whenever we meet someone new, it always feels so fresh and exciting at first, until the familarity grows. All I mean is, things may have become "comfortable" with you and your present love, but thats not to say that in a couple of years or so you may feel like that again (if you start a reltionship with the other guy), things to seem less exciting after time goes by. Good luck in whatever you decide, and I hope it all works out for you
2007-03-07 21:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by MissEssex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever stay with someone because you are "used to him." That is fair to no one. And regarding your comment that you're not sure if you love him: "Where there is doubt, there is no doubt." Four years is a long time to be with someone, so I know this isn't easy. I broke it off with my last boyfriend of four years and like your guy, he told me it would be hard to be friends. Well, it was for awhile, but we were such close friends to begin with that we are still in touch today. You won't see each other as often, but you might be able to stay connected somehow. In matters of love, do what your heart tells you. I wish you all the best with this difficult situation.
2007-03-07 21:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by Meowzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things can never be the same,you will always ask yourself have i done the right thing.you have to sit and talk to your fella tell him how you feel about thing's. If he cant handle it, then its time to move on.It's always hard to leave a long term relationship, but you cant live with the thought thing's could have been better (if).you make your own life and the person you end up with will be the one who lets you live it to the full with them in it and helping you all the way.best of luck Gary.
2007-03-07 21:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave your man and do not contact him anymore. You are selfish saying that you want to still be friends with him because that would hurt him and he couldnt deal with it but just because you know he is good to you, you would prefer to keep him around. Dont be so mean, go out with the other guy if you like but even if you dont leave your man because you are being very mean right now by keeping hold of him and 1 day someone will do it to you becasue what goes around comes around
2007-03-07 21:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by nina c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People aren't like fuckin shoes you dont try a pair on and throw it back cuz you like another one better. Obviously you have lost the connection with your current boyfriend and you want to go test the waters to see if there is something better for you. **** that ****.
Sack up and tell your boyfriend it's over and stop being a duplicitous **** hanging out with another guy behind his back. You don't want to be with him anymore but you don't want to have to deal with the pain of losing him as a friend too. Tough ****. You can't have it both ways.
Maybe it sounds like I'm attacking you and maybe I am. But people like you need to wise up and stop doing **** like this. You're in a relationship you commit and don't **** around. You don't want to be in it you end it and go your separate ways. This bullshit with seeing if there something better but keeping your boyfriend as a fall back needs to stop.
Wake the **** up
2013-08-28 08:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by Kris K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you have lost the spark and it may be time to definitely move on.There's no way you can stay with someone you are unsure you love,another thing don't mistake companionship with love so move on even if it hurts I'm sure things will get better.
2007-03-07 21:17:51 · answer #7 · answered by Dodgerchik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that once you start getting strong feelings for anybody else, it spells the end of your relationship. You may even find if you end your relationship your strong feelings for the new person are not there anymore. They are just a sign that you are not satisfied with your current relationship and you are subconciously looking elsewhere.
2007-03-07 22:02:38 · answer #8 · answered by northstar21_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you've been with your b/f for 4 years, don't rush. You might find (on seeing this other guy again) that you don't really fancy him as much as you thought - on the other hand it might be even better! Give yourself time to consider your options. No-one's giving you an ultimatum are they?
2007-03-07 21:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by jet-set 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u want 2 be friends with him the best think that u can do is tell him the truth.
Whats the point to be with him if u don't love him?
Be honest....
Good luck.
And don't worry everything will go ok
2007-03-07 21:16:10 · answer #10 · answered by iona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋