just to let u all know that he is employed, maybe earning abit less than me, he stays with his mother and brothers, my question is how do I deal with him. at a bar, I pay for all the drinks coz half the time he has no money, he is sometimes off air and never shares stuff with me, but when he needs something he cant stop asking for it. he says he loves me but I am doubting this alot. I feel very bad
2007-03-07 20:59:53 · 20 answers · asked by supper Star bitch Slap 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can tell him that you want to spend your money on other things rather than drinks at a bar. His response to you will tell you everything you need to know.
2007-03-07 21:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you doubt that he loves you, then the question you should ask is Why are you STILL giving him the money?
If your answer to that question is that you love him, then I would say that you don't love him too much either. If you truly love him, you need to let him know the importance of budgeting. He will never learn if you continue to feed his spending habit.
I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he is just being a child in this situation. He had always gotten what he wanted, without having to work too hard for it. He is not mature enough to think of the consequences of his actions. If he really loves you, then he is a really childish and selfish person, because he is willing to let you suffer and get hurt.
He should wise up and care for you more. You could teach him, or simply leave him. No one will ever say that you are doing the wrong thing.
2007-03-15 20:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by genn_silver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does all his money go? If he earns a decent living and lives with his family, he should have plenty enough to go around. He either has some problems like drinking, gambling, etc - kids to support - another g/f - helps his family out or is just plain cheap. If you love him and want to stay with him you need to find out which it is and decide if you want to deal with it or not.
2007-03-15 06:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by head_kase13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on the possibility of sounding sarcastic, do no longer ignore that "borrowing" means that the guy intends to and follows through with paying you again. If he's not paying you again, he's not borrowing it--he's taking it. in case you 2 had an settlement that he became "borrowing" the money, then obviously he could pay you again. in case you made the furnish and gave him funds because he became suffering financially, he could have mistook your human being loan for a present. clean verbal replace is continuously key. contained in the destiny, may I advise that you and he create a clean payback time body. you're his gf, so that you do not intend to make him experience like a burden, yet make it clean that it is a private loan. Say something like "i visit allow you to borrow the money for some weeks, yet i like it again by technique of the top of the month for my personal lease." don't experience to blame in case you tell a touch fib (say you want it by technique of a particular date, regardless of the truth that in case you do not). you've each suitable to get you funds again. If he would not comply with the words, tell him you are able to manage to pay for to personal loan out the money. it truly is yours. you artwork for it. it truly is in reality honest that you get to save what you've earned. For this actual case, i could only ask. be particular to assert it with empathy so as that he's conscious you're literally not accusing him of stealing or something. after all, he's your boyfriend. only say "hey babe....i understand you're having a confusing time as we talk, yet i became kinda hoping you pays again truly some the money i allow you to borrow. i could truly use it this week for groceries." this may remind him that your loans are not presents. best of luck.
2016-12-05 09:54:32 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he's got to start to pay up, or he'll have to cash in his chips. That's just not right. I can understand from time-to-time when in a relationship someone wants to pay, but it shouldn't be so one-sided. Next time you hit a bar, tell the bartender (loudly enough for your boyfriend to hear) to put it on HIS tab. He sounds like he's taking advantage of your kindness too often. It's time to fight fire with fire.
2007-03-07 21:06:18 · answer #5 · answered by gone 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt put up with it. if he has no money but wont give up if he wants something then he has a problem. What sort of man goes out with his gfriend and leaves her paying for stuff!! Thats bad. Hes going to have to face up to things and start living in his budget and stop borrowing and getting others to buy him things.
good luck
2007-03-07 21:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your "boyfriend" seems to not have an adequate understanding of the emotion and verb "to love another person".
Follow your feelings. You are feeling badly because you are being treated badly, my sister. Please lose this one as quickly as you can. He is not a respectable man. You will regret it if you stay on putting up with his baby ways.
2007-03-15 20:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by Hestynuster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you ran out because you are putting most of your cheque in the bank for a debt your parents have. then save it in a savings instead of giving it to him. stop giving him apenny and tell him the rest of your cheque is for your bills. if he's a jerk after that or worse breaks up with u over it...you'll know he was using u and be happy u got rid of him that quick...remember you worked hard for your money and you didnt work for free...save up for yourself!!! If you are planning to save for a house or something dont tell him because he'll stay knowing he'll be safe
2007-03-15 19:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by amor_dove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you but I am certain that he loves your money. He is just your boyfriend he's not your son paying for his drinks wow! that's martyrdom. HEY wake up... Better guys out there who won't run after your money. Better dump him, if you get married it will be worse.
2007-03-15 19:50:37 · answer #9 · answered by chiz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know. its never happened to me but i´ve had friends that have the same problem. i think u just need to tell him that he means a lot to you but to come back when hes ready to stop slacking.
2007-03-15 21:29:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋