Today at work I encountered a very intoxicated man who claimed to be dying of lung cancer and as I saw him eating dinner at the bar all by himself I almost broke down in tears and wanted to find a way to tell him that I wished I could help. Do you think this is a case of a poor lonely man who drinks because his is dying and alone or a drunk who is dying alone because he has always been drinking?
Either way my heart pours out and I can only hold back tears because I'm the eternal sucker who feels bad for poor man that did not have a chance and every crack-head who asks me for a dollar.
2007-03-07 20:11:08 · 10 answers · asked by Janell 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
All we can do is our best at any given moment, you must be very sensitive. A really good book that I read by Don Miguel Ruiz, 'The Four Agreements'. It helped me with my world view by adjusting my internal view..
Aloha
2007-03-07 20:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by mauikittie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Janell.
It looks to me like you are wondering on the reasons that guy is miserable, and probably afraid of dying. But why is that the issue? in both case, he is a miserable man. The reason shouldn't matter.
Your feelings makes you a better person, but unless this man wants help and ask for it, you cannot give it. Being compassionate is a great thing, and sometimes the fine line between what people need and what people want can be easily stepped over. Sadly, he is probably rather mad to the world, so he is not likely to be nice to you, nor thankful, nor even decent if you go talk to him.
Note that if lung cancer was really killing him, he would not have the breath to tell you about it....
2007-03-07 21:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by OneLilithHidesAnother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably a case of a man who is drinking himself to death because he is dying. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad, but do not run out and give him every dollar you have. Maybe the next time you see him, take the time to have a nice chat with him. Some times just knowing that there are kind people in the world who will take the time out for you is more than enough.
2007-03-07 20:46:30 · answer #3 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who knows the reason for his intoxication. It is not for us to judge. How could we? We don't know what actually put that man there. We do know that people of good character will always want to help those who appear less fortunate. I have been there myself. Just try not to be fooled by the users in life.
A good example--Right after Katrina hit, there was a man that went to eat in a restaurant. Instead of dressing decent, he went out looking like a homeless person. Two girls sitting in the booth across from him assumed that the man was down and out. They offered to pay for his meal and he accepted. Until today he tells this story as he drinks and gambles everything he makes away. I know the girls probably felt good about what they did, but I can't help but think that this man took advantage of two very kind people.
In other words try not to lose your compassion, but don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of if you can help it.
2007-03-07 20:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably the latter, but who are we to judge people?..Maybe you could ask him sometime. There is nothing wrong with feeling pity for those that are pitiful..Compassion is an admirable virtue, just because you care doesn't make you a sucker. Not that I want to come across a religious zealot or anything like that..because I certainly can not quote chapter and verse..but i believe it was Jesus who said, That which you do for the least of my bretheren, that you do also for me. Kinda makes me feel better when I give my last dollar away to someone who will probably waste it on booze or drugs. Take Care...
2007-03-07 20:24:29 · answer #5 · answered by B-Rabbit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we all make choices. some choices are made for us, such as violence, loss of work, death of loved ones. but in those hardships are still choices, remember that the bottle is a choice, an addiction eventually, same as crack or any other "happy". you choose to help those you can, when it affects your life, your safety, your future, that is when you need to stop and think again. remember, take care of yourself, so again when able, you may help those in need. maybe those who have made better choices and whose needs may be more honest. today is here, the only real fact of our lives is death itself. make your today count for you and those you love and the place you live.
2007-03-07 20:21:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck! You think to much. If old lonely drunk is dieing he doesn't give 2 s h i t s if you feel sorry for him.
2007-03-07 21:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by poopy pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your reaction to this man means that you are human and that you have a heart. Many times we train ourselves to lose our compassion for others to protect ourselves, but this also takes away from our humanness.
2007-03-07 20:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by Surely Funke 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i cannot answer the first part of your question as you cant for the second part you are far to kind it is sometimes very difficulty to say no,but you will have to learn.dont just say no.put it politely say im sorry i cannot help you,difficult at first but you can do it.
2007-03-07 21:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by fatdadslim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a very wonderful person ,dont change the world needs more people like you
2007-03-07 20:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by matty60 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋