Ive been with my girl for 1yr and i have told her i love her, but she said she doesnt believe in love but yea...and she wants to go to school in a Diff. country. We are both virgins and if/when we do stay together and the thought of her leaving for 4yrs. becomes real. Is it wrong for me to ask her about the possibility about havning sex? I dont want to make it sound like im a dog, cuz i am also a virgin and Sex is not why im with her, im with her for her morals, but if she wants to try and make it work will it be wrong for me to bring up? I dont want it to sound like we have to cuz shes leaving, but if we both can say we love eachother and such am i wrong? Keep in mind that nothing in our 1 yr. has been brought up about sex and none of us said anything about waiting till marrage.
2007-03-07 20:00:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I'm not sure about that one hun.
She might resist it.
Maybe she isn't sure about your relationship as horrible as that seems.
You can bring the issue up slowly and ask her how she would feel about having sex with you someday..
Just don't move too quickly.
2007-03-07 20:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really, you have answered your own question when you say that you are with her for her morals. You are getting antsy because you see certain handwriting on the wall and now want to, pardon the expression, dive in.
In my opinion, sex is not the glue that holds a relationship together. What will hold you together is a real effort at keeping communication open during the time you spend apart.
Maintain your celibacy, obviously its important to you both. There will be a time when the value that you place on your virtue will be rewarded with the right person, the right place and the right time. Remember only fools rush in.
Don't gamble something so precious because you fear separation. Instead, plan to communicate during the separation period as you continue to grow into the person you plan to become.
Also, you and your gf have a year that is meaningful, continue to cherish it so that you can smile back on it later and say, this person is still my friend because we respected one another enough to wait.
Unfortunately, society places a lot of pressure on young people to perform. Many fall victim or are influenced by this pressure because of the thinking of their peers. Along with this failure to respect oneself there are many other pitfalls that await including unwanted pregnancy and STD's or sexually transmitted diseases.
Although very few people will admit this, there is also a certain emotional change that happens when a young person engages sexually for the first time. I believe and I don't know if its been proven or not, but I believe that premature sex alters a person's self-esteem and or self-concept and that certain hormones in the brain are affected by premature sex, especially among those who place a premium on celibacy. My advice? Wait. If it's meant to be, the marriage bed is the best place for love to reach climatic fulfillment.
Wishing you the best...
2007-03-08 04:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a good thing going there, honestly, just enjoy the time you have together, the Emotions that sex will introduce into your relationship are not worth the risk. You two have both already made the choice to wait this long, so respect her, and her choice and wait, trust me, you are not missing much. Love can be so much stronger than sex, if you wait until you are ready (preferably married) it will bring you two that much closer together. Your relationship with her should be more important than sex, and she should know that it is! Tell her you love her!
2007-03-08 21:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by quizikin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend you pursue this, unless she gives you some reason to think she is interested in having sex.
If you want sex with her you should marry her. Obviously that's not in the cards for the immediate future.
If you value her for her morals keep those morals intact.
My opinion. I haven't always followed my own advice, and I am a little bit on the elderly side, but I had hormones once and I do remember what it felt like.
If it's right, love will find a way for the two of you to preserve it.
2007-03-08 04:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by Warren D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man, if you guys haven't talked about sex in a yr she might be going abroad just to get some! If she goes away you'll never get the chance so you better act now. Don't know if asking is the best. May want to woo her right into the bedroom (ok, hotel room if ya have to). Tell you what. Tell her you want to make love to her. Tell her you want to discuss it, tell her you respect her morals, her right to decline, but don't ask if it's ok. YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE. That's the truth. Go with the truth.
2007-03-08 04:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope. You should respect her and she will remember you for that. You must show that you are a gentleman. Don't be like other guys who always think about sex and nothing else. This is what makes you a special.
2007-03-08 04:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by happy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first think about the fact her being in another country and if she leaves will she be truthful to you. and the Q no it doesn't make you a dog man. but i would really think about the what's going on before i would have sex.Are your sure she's the one for you just think before you do it. Their is alot their involved with it. just do what you think is right.
2007-03-08 04:09:42 · answer #7 · answered by spenser g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys aren't mature enough to talk about it. Then your relationship isn't mature enough for you guys to do it. point blank. I waited 4 years to "be with" my high school sweetheart. Had i done it any sooner i might have regretted it.
2007-03-08 04:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by Celeste 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋