I am dating a wonderful man who happens to be white. When I worked at a hotel he used to come in on business trips and check in, we would talk and he always asked me out, I always said no because I never dated a white man. Finally he invited the whole front desk out for drinks well I went and we talked laughed and played fooze ball, He is handsome funny intelligent and kind. The next time he came to town he invited me to the laugh factory...I went..we had fun...this progressed to the point were I looked forward to his visits. To make a long story short (to late?) We fell in love. But my family is so against me being with him. My sister tells me I am a sell out and calls me "white girl". My brothers say I better not bring him home, but I love him. He loves me. My sister says my family will never accept him. My daughter loves him but her father (my ex) is trying to turn him against calling him Casper the rich white ghost. Should I forget about happiness and just raise my daughter?
2007-03-07 19:52:11 · 15 answers · asked by tanya 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's a hard thing when eveyrbody around you seems to be against the one thing that makes you happy but try and make it work . sooner or later you will know what decision to make . is he worth the hurt and stress you are enduring right now ?
2007-03-07 19:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a sell out. A "sell out" is a person who does something that everyone is else is doing just because that is the newest "trend" or because that is what alot of people are doing at that particular time. From what I have read you are in love, its really hard to be a sell out when your in love. Its also sad to read that your family cannot get past the color of your mans skin. It should not matter if he was green w/purple polka dots, as long as you are happy, they should be happy for you and get past the part of him that is his skin color. I am not saying for them except him, just be polite and leave out the slurs. And for ex he's just haten on him cause you have found someone that you love and its not him. To answer your last question NO DO NOT GIVE UP HAPPINESS!! Especially your happiness. In order for you to raise your daughter, its not only essential but a fundamental in your daughters life to see her mother happy and not depressed and wishing she would have done this or that, but instead see her mother w/a person who makes her laugh and be in an environment that has love, security, and happiness...something most children don't have in there lives. Don't let your family get in the way of love, I know its tough, but just lay out for them and if they can't accept it, then tell them to call you when they can stop disscrimnating and accept your man for the person he is and as you see him. Good luck to you!
2007-03-08 04:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by jburgins1980 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no don't you dare run away if this man is as good as think go for it girl love is so hard to find these days don't worry about family they'll come around in time when they see how good it for you and him and you little girl. tell your ex to back off putting the child in the middle is wrong of him to do. go be happy and if you need to move away with him then go it may be great for the 3 of you there are gonna be racisit people everywhere and its not right but this is the way things are even for people of ethenic backgrounds encounter this today its not just limited to color
2007-03-08 04:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by alice k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
America mostly the souther half is still racest and wil awlays be as long as people keep rising there children set down with some one in your family that is most resanlble ( spelled wrong i no) and expline you tryed to fight but yoyu can;t it is love and as for you ex tell him to kiss you A** cuz aint in you family and has no open but expline to you little gurl that raicem is wrong and hope that she will become one less american rasiest
2007-03-08 04:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by latigerchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sell out is someone who is not true to themselves.
Your family expects you to make a sacrifice for their prejudices. If you do it for them then you are "selling out" yourself. You have a choice to live for them and what they want for you, or for yourself and a man you love.
I'm sad for you that your own family cares nothing about your happiness. Love is so hard to find and here you found it and you have to deal with all this crap.
You have to ask yourself if you want to sacrifice love for a family who doesnt even care about you being happy.
God be with you, youre going to need it.
2007-03-08 04:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your happiness and I understand family means alot, but my brother said the same thing about my brother in law to my sister and guess what, they are friends now. If you are in love that is all that should matter.
2007-03-08 03:55:27 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult, your family has choose who they want to be with, you choose who you want to be with too! go rent the movie, Guest Who's Coming to Dinner, tell your family to get a life.
2007-03-08 04:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by 520 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl...u need to do what makes you happy...family is spost to be there for u no matter what....once they see they cant change your mind for you, they will relize they have no choice but to except you and him being together....i wish the three of you the best....good luck
2007-03-08 04:00:53 · answer #8 · answered by chad s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no being a racist is a sell out. its your choice but don't let racism effect your choice. either way teach your daughter to not accept racism.
2007-03-08 04:45:01 · answer #9 · answered by jbugg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you and your daughter love him go for it, that's all that matters... as for racial slurs by the father, I would bring that up in court
2007-03-08 03:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jerrica Starlight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋