Should a woman ever wait until her boyfriend is ready for marriage?

Question

Next month, it will be 2 years since my boyfriend and I have been together. (We are both in our late 30's and currently living together.)
Since about 5 years ago, I felt ready for marriage and Motherhood, passing up an opportunity with a previous boyfriend because I felt he wasn't the right one.

My current boyfriend says and always has said he wants to get married (again - he was married once before) and have kids, yet he says he is not ready yet.

As I said, it has been 2 years almost and I wonder if staying around for another year is worth it or not.

(I've told my parents and friends that one more year is the deadline time...long enough, in my book. If nothing has happened by then, I'll leave.)

Should a woman ever wait until a man is ready?
He says I am the one, but he is just not ready yet.

I'm not quite sure if I should throw in the towel or stick around and wait a bit more.

How long, if at all...should a woman wait?

And yes, I do love him and I feel he is the right one and would be a good Dad...but none of that matters if he is not in the same mindset as I am.

Ok, no - he has not proposed yet.

Answer 1

Love is all about patience & puttin ur partners feelings first. When thats mutual, love really does conquer all. You should both understand eachothers needs, u want to get married n make a family n he is scared cause of his past. Let him know that u will always be there for him, n that u only want a family cause ur so much in love wit him. Dont make it sound like ur 30 n its bout time u got started on a family, that would scare anybody. If he really does put u first he will take the big step n wanna b wit u 4 eva, the longer it takes him 2 decide the smaller the chances are. oh, n dont put a deadline cause ur either 100% in or 100% out at this moment, theres no deadline when it comes to love...

Answer 2

I think your "gut" feeling tells you if you think he loves you enough to marry you now or not. Infactuation period normally ends after about a year and a half, so if a man does not pop the question around that time, he really does have insecurities about marriage. Since your partner has been married before, he may really be shell shocked. But if you are honest with yourself, I feel you already know the answer, so don't fool yourself. What is he waiting for? A sign? Only you can decide on how long you want to wait.

Answer 3

i mean you still want to move on right? Ask yourself... if he say wait for another 3 to 5 years den he will be ready to get married..can you accept it? are you willing to wait for him?

I guess he is not ready for a second marriage yet... i know he need time but face it, how long can YOU wait? YOU got the answer. Take sometime to think about it.. maybe can bring this up to him soon.. so that u can make decision after hearing he had to say.. all the best dear frd!

Answer 4

i have been to that situation before to the point that i asked him to marry me and got the same answer as your bf did. He is not ready though if he wants to get married, it's me he wants. Isnt it men have the same alibis?

Now what happened? i waited for almost three years out of the almost 6-yr relationship i had with him. What hurts me most is that he never gave me any assurance that we will marry at this point in time. So i gave him up...

Now my question is this: is your bf giving you any assurance to hold on? it's okay to wait if you know that he has plans for you. That way, you will feel secure. But if you are just holding on to what you feel, then it may be useless. Waiting for something you never had any idea will ever come or not is really painful. And worse, your time is wasted for someone who may not really want you or who may not even see himself married to you. Try to move on. The time you gave him, must have been enough. Being ready for marriage is something that is not one should prepare for... It comes out naturally. And that feeling usually comes when you feel you found the right person to marry... May be you, including me, are not the right person for our bf's! or reverse it, we made a mistake to think we found the right guys!

PS i just broke up with him last month.. and i am trying to move on!

Answer 5

you have to understand that he is making a big decision. both families will be there, and he has to look his best and be 100% sure he wants to be with you.

you have to be patient with love. you can't rush it. so if he proposed already, maybe both of you should plan the wedding.

just remind eachother why you love eachother until you guys get married.

he'll feel he is ready once he knows you are the right one.

Answer 6

look girl.....
ther r 2 ways of seeing this problem...mayb ur bf is afraid of giving any kind of marriage commitment since his previous marriage didnt work out.................and he really needs sum time.....
or
he is never going to get married n he has made up his mind about dat.......if dats da case u will b waiting forever...u knw dat man more than ne1....u have to decide.....
and as an answer to ur question....dat wether a woman shld wait for a man to b ready ....is yes....only as long as u can...if hes still not ready.....dump him...he will never b ready....

Answer 7

oy vey.