Does he really want to spend the rest of his life with me?

Question

Ok me and My hunny have been together for 4 years now . We get along most of the time, But when we do argue he we always say were sorry.. He tells me loves me everyday and he cant keep his hands off of me..But he never really wants to talk about anything that bothers me ..It kinda hurts..Even when i do tell him it's like talking to a wall at least most of the time.We have been through some pretty rough spots and well were still together..He does make me happy and i know i do him..
But we have knew each other since i was like 14 and now i'm 21 and u would think he would want a bigger commitment but he keeps telling me when i get a job he will ask me to marry him.. If he really loved me wouldn't he ask anyway? I mean i know i need a job and i'm trying to get one..I really do love this man i can see myself with him forever and having a beautiful family. but Like maybe he doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me.or should i not worry? . What do I do? Please help..

Answer 1

Definatly listen to your instincts. You obviously see something that is upsetting you and you need to talk to him about it straight away as much as it is scary you need to face the reality that he isnt communicating with you the way he should.

Now the idea is not to sound like your winjing ok you have to talk to him that is nice and that you want him to open up to you and ask him if he wants to truly be with you cos there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and it feels like a one way street which means your the only one putting in the effort because if he really loves you he will work his but to work at the relationship.

And you are very young to want to get married i was engaged and we broke up so i know what its like to be in a relationship where you think its going in the right direction but its not because you constantly put in all the effort cos you love em.

So my advise would be to act on it NOW before your stuck married and then divorced. Trust me. I KNOW.

So talk to him sit down and be somewhere where he can look in your eyes when you talk. Make him listen to you.

Anyway good luck with your chatt. Do yourself a favour hunny. xoxox

Answer 2

Well if you really sense that something is wrong, listen to your instincts.

But I think it's perfectly likely that he might just feel a bit old fashioned about the whole thing, and wants to save engagement for when he is a proper adult who can provide for a woman. In the olden days a man was expected to ask a girl's father before proposing, and one big concern of the father was always how well this man could look after his little girl and any babies she might have.... A lot of guys still carry this feeling that they need to be providers. It's not a bad thing.

Remember, proposing means intent to actually marry, and a lot of people won't want to get engaged until they're ready and able to be husband and wife.

Answer 3

At 14 you were still a child, talking about spending the rest of your life, which is a long time with this man is worrying. Take a break from each other get a job and a life and see if you still feel the same.

Answer 4

Maybe if u got a job & did something with yourself he would respect u more & WANT to be closer with you (intimate talks, marriage, etc) May work, may not~ ...or maybe since u dont have a job yet - your full of b/s & have other issues???? (in your position I'd ALLREADY have RAN out & got a job!) ~ ~ ~ to me, sounds like its an excuse & he probably DOESN'T want to marry u. Do u think he has ANY faith that you'll ACTUALLY get ( or keep) a job any time soon???? ......
So, YES, IF he REALLY loved u , a job (or anything else) WOULD NOT stand in the way of his proposal. What do you do? WHATEVER IN THE WORLD U FEEL LIKE DOING!!!!! (isnt that what your allready doing?)

Answer 5

not all men like talking, ive got a bloke that doesnt like talking he told me in the beginning of our relationship he not very good with communication.
im not saying we dont talk at all lol
but we only have good convasations when we go out to a resturant,
i do think your partner loves you, again not all men are up for the commitment of marriage. ive been with my partner 5 years and where not even engaged yet, which i wouldnt mind doing
ask ya self this question what diffrence would marring him make to your relationship apart from you will be his wife.
because it is only a peice of paper.
i would wait to marry him after ya 24 thats about the age when ya know what ya want,
and if he doesnt love you you why would he stick around?

and men worry about responsibilly but they dont say because of there macho image, maybe he thinks that you will be realing on him for money and stuff or you will be exspecting him to pay for this wedding
its a lot of money for a wedding and he proberly doesnt want to feel like his doing it on his own

so try ya hardest to get a job, tell him to ask you to marry him when he feels ready that way ya taking the presure of him and when he does ask you will know its because he wants to.
and not that he feels he has to.

and it is best to marry each other when ya both ready other wise one could feel trapped and b4 ya know it ya devorced.

from the way you have worded your letter i would say you are a bit insecure (am i right)
do you sometimes think he wants someone else or that your not enought for him.

i think alot of us woman would feel alot more securer if we can read mens minds lol

take care and dont rush in to marriage.
and make sure its what ya both want.

Answer 6

good luck finding a job
hopefully that will solve things
maybe he's just using that to make you feel pressured to get a job

Answer 7

Get a job and see what happens.

Answer 8

um, if u have to ask these questions it's not worth it. would you want your mom to date someone who treated her this way? Prolly not. Just cut ties and be on your way