i live in a family of 4 I, my parents and my younger bro who is of 11 yrs. we live happily with no probs. BUT

Question

my dad is a gr8 person, sometimes becomes very understanding.but he shouts a lot, listens 2 TV very loudly.. & when we stop him , he shouts at us. i don't like tht.. sumtimes he uses abusive language & that is not at all pleasing 2 hear.pls tell me a way so that he behaves in a more civilised manner and without getting angry at me. ok now over 2 my bro. i'm very protective abt him and don't want him 2 get spoilt. but recently he has started using some bad words and doing bad & wrong actions. i think he has learned all this from his friends at the park and in skool. now, u see that i can't stop him from going to neither park nor skool. moreover when my younger cousin comes 2 our home.. he also learns what my bro says & speaks that in his home. i'm fearing that if my aunt says that my bro has spoilt her child then it will be very shameful for us. so pls advice me as to how shall i deal with both of them.
but pls remember that i love my family and i just want to improve them.

Answer 1

well what i can say is
Try applying Gandhigiri basically be Calm and Cool
even ask them to repeat those things you dont like (irritates you).
Actually wat the moral behind this is people generally dont like those or listen to them who oppose their wish.

Be patient and try to show as of you dont care.
Sit with your dad and watch TV
Tell your brother wat he says and does is great and ask him whats the new thing he has learned.He knows from inside that he is wrong its just to make him realise.

Hope this works for you

Answer 2

First of all you should have more patience. Try to love your dad more than what you do now. Everyone have their own problem, if they don't find a way to express it out or to solve it , they show such kind of behaviours even worser than this.. Try to understand the problems that your dad is havig even if he don't want to share it. Try to help him solve all those problems. And about your brother, look this is the age where everybody likes to try something different, if he is not font of advices means don't advice him. When he reaches around the age 15 he will understand all these things. Don't get much worried or tensed about all this because these are situations that happen in everybody's life. The only thing that you have to do now is love everybody with a true heart. When life progresses everything will be smooth

Answer 3

hi, being father of 2 kids aged 11 n 10 hope i can give u some advice, usually we fathers feel tired and get exhausted by the time we come home and want some relaxation, unless we don't have a habit of visiting clubs and bars, its true that parent should control their anger, but being a psychologist still i cannot control my anger and shout at my kids, u should learn to live with it and tel him slowly when he is alone and good mood, saying her brother needs to be corrected. u also need to talk to ur mother, she is the right person, actually i was also addicted to TV and it took 2 years for me to come out of this habit because my wife went on telling that i should spend time with kids and help them in conducting some games, help them in teaching etc, now i enjoy the company of my children more then the TV, u need further counselling u can email me, all the best

Answer 4

good thing for u r care and concern for family. allow u r father watching the tv. dont stop him. basically man is the product of environment. u r brother is also taken cue from u r father and using abusive and un parliamentary words. u tell him that u wont speak to him if he dont stop using this type of words. when u r father is in good mood tell him the impact and ask him to stop tat type of words. stop talking to u brother for some time. then he realises that.

Answer 5

I think your brother is 11 and he is trying to find his own identity but he is misleading himself. Your Dad is nice but sounding like his innerself isnot happy he is lonely himself and he is watching TV to pass his time. Why donot you try to involve your parents and brother and have some family activities together. Ask them to play board game as a family.
Try to be calm and may try to write a letter to your parents explaining the situation and leave it behind for them to read it. this might work.
If all fails adopt their way and become one of them.

Answer 6

It is perhaps a big problem for you. I can understand but the remedy lies in itself. Let him be as he is, try to not interfere in his work of any kind, avoid your father for few days ( all the family).
Try to involve him in some activities related to your religion. TV is the root cause if you have cable network try to cut it.
Try to play indore games with your father like caram, cards, chess etc..
Ask your mom to spend more and more time with him.
I think you can try these first.

Answer 7

Only request your father once to stopall this. Whenever he ons his t.v. request him once tostop.I believe him will surely stop after 8 to 10 days.Explain your bro that when his parents wil come 2 know about this they will feel very bad.

Answer 8

It seems your father is mentally disturbed due to some illness, or he is not satisfied with his work. He is unable to express his thoughts or feelings properly. Ask your mummy to take him in confidence or take help of your family friend or any of your relative to take him in cofidence.
Perhaps the reason of unsatisfication may be in relation with your mummy or at his work place.
Perhaps your father may also be thinking his behaviour is not proper. But mental disturbance overcomes his good behaviour.

Answer 9

hi friend

i am really happy to know u r loving ur family. but dont be so possesive, dont give ur brother more advice, goodness is not in the words only - i think u r expecting manners but expect reality from ur brother. regarding ur father , i dont know about his past life, but i hope ur pure love and affection is enough.

Answer 10

div ice in u father