I am very confused as to how I view God after my car accident and now after my husband's death.?

Question

Nine years ago, I was hit by a van while I was crossing the street. When I came to and was lying in the middle of the street and I was told what had happened, I knew that God had saved my life. Before the accident, I had prayed on the way to the bus stop for God to be with me and not to leave me alone and after the accident, I knew that He had not only heard me but spared my life as well.

Fast forward to last June and my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. My faith took a hit because I thought I would be the one to go and I wasn't prepared for this. My faith began to return but now when I think and pray to God, I am more afraid of Him and that He could take someone else quickly and unexpectedly and I seem to be more focused on death and the afterlife than trying to live my best life with Him unafraid and grateful to be alive. I would like to focus on Living free and not scared with God again but I don't know how.

Answer 1

I just prayed for you. I have been through many trials myself. Two years ago my wife had an accident and this year my daughter is going through divorce proceedings.
I would like to share this poem of Rudyard Kipling which has helped me during difficult times. It has been said that when Kipling was writing this poem he was thinking of what God the Father might have said to Jesus before He sent him to us.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Peace and every blessing!

Answer 2

Well I am an atheist that used to pray to god when I was younger so I guess I know how you feel. You just have to face the fact that the world is not fair. And horrible tragedies such as the ones that you endured happen to thousands of people a day. We must try to live our lives and try to ignore these accidents the best we can. I hate those answers where people just tell you to look at the bright side. Or to cheer up because the world is so beautiful and ect. I'm a very depressed person myself my dad is an alcoholic and junkie. While my mother tries her hardest to get buy and survives off sleep and depression medication. I'm seventeen and my family thinks I am being selfish for trying to save for a car and college. And not staying home to help my mother pay for the bills. I'm constantly conflicted with the fact that I may end up just like my worthless parents. And I fear doing anything now that will possibly put me in a position where someone will judge me or reject me. But at the end of the day you just got to say f-ck it and watch a movie or paint a picture and do things that just get you by. Share your story with others that are hurting and it will help you feel better. Maybe you should think about getting back into the dating scene or something perhaps. Maybe that’s a little to forward though I can’t imagine what it's like to loose a husband. There are plenty of people out there going through hard times. And no matter how much this world beats you up there will always be someone here to talk about it with you. I probably didn’t help at all I’m sorry if I didn’t.

Answer 3

Same thing here.I have never had a year in my life where anything was normal or without turmoil, not even as a child. I lost my only child 20 years ago and that tested my faith. She was baptised one day before her death. Fast forward to 2005 when my wife died of a brain tumor - after that God let me meet the love of my life. Besides for her there is my best friend whom I have known for 25 years. Both are ultra-supportive of my moods; but for the past few months I've had these horrible thoughts that they too would die and leave me here alone - - mainly in auto accidents - it's kind of like whenever I have someone I love they get taken away. It's kind of tiresome as I am not someone to recover easily from so many serious things. Yet I can not take the easy way out and withdraw into myself. But like you I also am more focused on the afterlife, almost as if I think I too should be dead, almost as if I realize the vanity of all things and am ready to leave here because I have nothing else to learn, much as a genius finishes a one-hour school test in 15 minutes and leaves the classroom. Perhaps this is a common reaction to so much disappointment? Maybe someone here on Yahoo! will give a more soothing answer to your question. I wish it could have been me. Sorry.

God Bless.

Answer 4

Hi Filly ,

Very soory for your husband.

I am sure we do not have the same religion, but I am more positive that you would agree with me on this:

Life is a place where we are tested , that is why for no one life has ever been a "complete happiness" .

When you prayed for God to watch over you & he saved your life , God wanted to let you know he is "there" and he hears you well.. the reason God would want to do that is to increase and strenghthen your faith in him, so that when you go through some bad time -like your husband's death- you do not get panic and lose trust in God quickly - which appearantly has happened-.

We are humans and we have very limited power, we do not know what could be best for us , sometimes you cry for something and then when you get it , you just wish you never had it , because it turned out to be something else other than what you have expected.
This happens to us everyday.... while you think your husband's death was a bad thing , I am sure it was the best thing for him and you as well , because God always chooses the best for us.

Put your trust in God , if your husband have left your side , then he is in God's side now, so who is better you or God ??
Who is most merciful you or God ?
Who has the power to heal and comfort your husband more you or God??

Trust God will not do anything bad to you , seek his support to overcome whatever crisis you go through , God will always help!!

Answer 5

I would say what Muslims say on this occassion: "We belong to Allah and to Him we return". I know, its too difficult to loose someone, but life is like that. God disn't mean to punish you,he had set that much life for him.Through this, he wants to test ur patience and there is a great reward for ur patience. May Allah help u to overcome ur grief(Ameen).

God is real, and He loves you (even if you are the most naughty child in the world, or the most wicked adult). He knows all your weaknesses and struggles, and even if you go wrong (even in a big way) He still loves you. What He does not love is the wrong you have done – but He still loves you. He will never ‘turn His back’ on the person who is sorry and asks for help to be put right again – never! Even if everyone else does, and nobody else understands, He does, and He will never leave you even if you leave Him from time to time.

As per Quran:
1. Blessed be He in Whose hands is Dominion; and He over all things hath Power;-

2. He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving;-

I think, it is always better to pray for ourselves and our loved ones safety, good health, long life and so on.

May Allah help u.

For feedback,u can mail me at: [e-mail]

Answer 6

While I am sorry for your loss, I do not understand your position. Death of anyone is possible at anytime. It just happens. Maybe instead of praying all the time you should enjoy your life. Stop living in fear. God is a tyrant.

Who else would allow you to get hit by a car only to "save" you from it? You do realize God had the power to prevent your accident in the first place right? What type of sadomasochistic megalomaniac would do that to someone who worships them?

So reject him. Do you really want to live by His rules? You have no say in the matter. You have free will but only one "correct" choice to make, or else you are punished forever? Please. Would a benevolent God use threats like that?

Please, for your own mental well being, quit putting your faith in something that has done nothing for you. I'm sure the Church picnics will be short one potato salad but then again, who wants to share potato salad with a bunch of cowards, acting in fear of eternal damnation and only doing those "good" actions because they want to be rewarded. This is not genuine, and is really only self-deception.

Answer 7

I have suffered great loss in my family too. In six years time I lost my brother, wife (divorce after 24 yrs. marriage) dads death, self diagnosed with diabetes, mom, and youngest daughter killed in same auto accident. Four deaths, divorce, diabetes, all in six years time. But-- Jesus, out of love, came to earth to save us. He died a horrible death, but as God, He didn't have to do this, He wanted to. He did it out of care and love for us. If the Son of God can suffer in many many ways, be crucified, and die, ..what makes me think that I, as a sinful human, should be immune to suffering? If sinless Jesus suffered, what makes me think that I won't? The thing that gives BY FAR the greatest COMFORT is knowing that I WILL SEE THEM AGAIN... It isn't over. This present time is just an intermission. The rest and best is yet to come. The next time I see, them all things will be perfect. No pain, no old age, no sickness, no loneliness, no war, no crime. All things will be greater than we can imagine, we'll be with them and it will last FOREVER. It's the same in your situation. Talking, just talking to a friend, pastor, etc. is also helpful. Don't fear God. He loves us and has proven it. God knows all things. We may not like or understand why things happen as they do...but God does. Trust Him. Remember--You WILL see them again... God Bless...

Answer 8

This is so difficult, but I am so happy your faith is still alive after that terrible event. God does love you, dear, and He wants you to talk to Him. I know how scared you are of losing someone else, and it is hard to believe God has your best interest at heart, but He truly does! Don't lose heart, keep praying, trust Him even when it is hardest! This is much more easily said than done, but I have faith that He will renew that faith and love in you that you once had and make it even stronger than before your husband's death. I love you, and God loves you a thousand times more!

By the way, if you want, feel free to email me at [e-mail]. I would love to talk to you if you're at all interested. =)

Answer 9

im sorry for that loss. i know someday it might happen to me also. that's why everyday for me is a blessing.

do you remember the story of Job? i cant figure out what will happen to my thinking about God if that story happens to me also. i hope i will not turn away from Him.

Jesus Himself came to a point upon thinking that His Father abandoned Him. But we know the whole story. Jesus never turned His back from His Father.

we can do that also. Say all your grievances to Him. most of His answers are in the Bible..so read your Bible again. Prayer must be a two-way communication.

please hold on to your faith in God. Every event has meaning and the answer sometimes is not now.

one more thing, when you pray please do it only in your mind. Satan can't read our mind..only God can. im not saying that public prayer is bad. im just doing like that especially for a more serious conversation to God..just my opinion.

Talk to Him from your heart..not with memorized-recital-repetitious prayer.

Answer 10

It's really simple.
Apply logic and reason and come to the educated conclusion that god is a man-made myth. It doesn't exist except in the imagination.
Now, having reached that point, ALL of your old fears will disappear. They will be replaced with new ones - such as, Oh Dear! there is no after-life! Cope with that.
Prayer is useless, even though you may have convinced yourself that it is a worthy use of your time. The truth of the matter is that you are only talking to yourself, which, on many occasions, is a good thing. We all need a good talking-to now and then, even if we have to do it ourselves.
There is no god up there.
Once this is realised, you will be free and know that there is also no such thing as destiny or fate. Whatever happens just happens. What you do with this one shot at life is, therefore, entirely up to you. No-one invisible and silent is going to help you. You must help yourself. Then, once this sense of freedom elates you and allows you to achieve, use this one life to the benefit of family and friends. If you have really achieved, help humanity at large.
Example ... Bill Gates is an atheist and is of much more use to humanity in general than the Vatican is.
You could do this. Just needs conviction.