when we first started dating she was pretty fit but she has put on about 100 pounds since then. I love her but i dont want to marry someone that doesnt care about herself. She has basically told me she didnt care about being in shape anymore. What should i do?
2007-03-07 17:52:21 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell her that you want to start going to the gym so you can be in better shape, but you don't want to go alone, and think that it would be good for her. let her know that you are worried about her, and don't want her to be unhealthy becuase you want to be with her for a long time.
2007-03-07 17:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jamie Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. she's relying on you not minding if she's a pig. she probably is'nt very tidy with the part that us men are particularly fond of either.do you have to say the "L" word to her all the time?
i've been with women like that before. it's lazyness i think. i'm 48 years old now. i ride a mountainbike 8 miles to werk in 25-30 minutes, work all day, and then ride home.once in 20 minutes.i kick back wen i want to. eat whatever i want to.drink whatever i want to. i have a six pack too. being in shape and feeling good and strong go together. i even smoke cigarettes. but only a pack a week. mariweed 3 joints a week.only at night he he.
what im saying is: 30 minutes a day of hard cardiovascular excercise not even every day and she would whip into shape.although i think at first she would have to do some other stretch and excercises maybe eat different. ya know... so she would have optimal shapes and curves if ya get my drift.after awhile it becomes easier and sorta fun.if it ever hurts or doesnt feel right.slow or stop. good luck.
2007-03-07 18:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a lose-lose situation here. Everyone will think you are being selfish, but I get where you are coming from.
As a woman I will give you my advice but be prepared to be left. Okay, so tell her that you are worried about her health and ask if anything is wrong. Tell her that there's a huge difference between not caring about the latest fashions and not caring about her health.
Tell her that you've noticed since she's put on the weight that she acts unhappy and depressed. Then offer to exercise with her on a regular basis. But do not criticize. If the girl actually tries and still wants some cake now and then, let her have the cake without comment.
The best way to confront someone about their weight is to get their cholesterol checked. Fat people do not have low cholesterol and her doctor will tell her she needs to lose weight and eat better.
2007-03-07 18:03:19 · answer #3 · answered by GranolaGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about you? have you put on weight also? If so, start with yourself. start working out and exercising. Mabey if you take the lead, she will follow. If you work out and excercise regularly, ask her to join you. tell her you want to spend more time with her and you care about her and that 100 extra pounds is not healthy. But more than that, If you have doubts about marrying her cuz of the weight, then there is something else thats causing you doubts about getting married.
Besides, if you really love her, the weight gain shouldn't be an issue. You should love her for who she is, not what she looks like.
2007-03-07 17:59:16 · answer #4 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to all the people telling you that your question makes you superficial, it means your human.
I'd be straight up about it and tell her that her weight is a problem for you. If she can't accept that your being honest and it's creating problems, then you need to reevaluate the relationship.
I'd be especially careful before getting married, she's already telling you she doesn't care anymore. Once your hitched the ring is a license to supersize!
If you decide thats a problem and want a divorce, she gets 1/2 (or more) of your stuff!
2007-03-07 18:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by itdaytrader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would start by trying to motivate her into a healthy lifestyle. Be romantic, cook healthy meals together or for her, plan romantic outings that include hiking somewhere or walking somewhere, go to the gym together, by her an aerobics outfit, anything to make her feel special but get your point across at the same time. Also work on yourself more and try and get her to do things with you. If all else fails you could slowley lose interest and move on because we are all human and physical attraction is important.
2007-03-07 18:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by natasha_randle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is understandable. I am a woman and I think it is a red flag if she is gaining this weight now. Think about how its going to be when you are married. It seems that you love her, but you really need to marry someone you are very attracted to as well. You are not being superficial. A 100 lb gain is ALOT
2007-03-07 17:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being such a shallow person who is only concerned with looks. You could try suggesting walks or exercise together but there is no way for you to say this without hurting her feelings. Say she does not loose weight are you gonna leave her? If so don't wait and string her along break up with her now and be done with it. Perhaps she would be better off with someone who really loves her for her and not her body and what it can do for you.
2007-03-07 17:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by digimutt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could just leave her since you do not want to marry a woman in that state. Alternatively, you could always take her out for a jog, a walk in the park, swimming, etc. Stop that dinner outings in restaurants, have a picnic. It could be fun for both. By the way, take a look at yourself in the mirror - do not be selfish! You may not be as good looking as she wish you were.
2007-03-07 17:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by RockTheBabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and do things together! Tell her that you guys should do nightly walks around the block, you will be able to share conversations and you and her will get a workout. They say that 30min of cardio a day is the best way to lose weight.
2007-03-07 18:00:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL this totally reminds me of something. i used to be 109 at the time.... he would always look at me and i liked him back. but now ever since i added some weight he hasn't looked as much. now he kind of just passes. its like what? omg! how sad..... and funny/weird. any ways enough of that.
you should buy her something that is smaller than her (a dress,pants or something) maybe that will motivate her. tell her that you want to go to the gym and she should come with you. i don't know but good luck.
i need to get rid of some pounds too. i am 124 lb now =T(-<
2007-03-07 18:10:10 · answer #11 · answered by Female 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋