So I have been dating this girl for about 6 months now and it has defintely been a rocky road. However lately, as the days go by, I am finding myself more and more unattracted to the drama that goes on in her life as well as physically. I feel like I am trapped. The REAL issue is breaking this to her..she has had alot of issues recently and I really don't want to be the person that sends her over the edge. Also whenever I have communicated to her ANYTHING that remotely involves me going anywhere(such as college, vacation, etc.) she immediately becomes sad and a bit pouty. In my own mind, I think she needs me to be a friend instead of her boyfriend. I feel like if I dump her now, she will breakdown. But if I don't do this something soon I feel like I will go downhill along with her. So what should I do?
Thanks!
2007-03-07 17:35:48 · 14 answers · asked by fuetbol_lover_4_life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow thank you all for so much..
In addition, we have gone on a "break" but some kind of way we got back together. I really like her, but I have so many things going on in my life that I just don't need a girlfriend period in my life. And even if I did..she has so much drama that it stresses me out. I feel like I have tried and tried to give her advice but she either will not listen or shoots everything down. Breaking this to her at a time where she has been hit hard seems cruel to me. Do you agree?
Also shes had counseling..not exactly working.. :(
2007-03-07 17:48:38 · update #1
Break up if you want to. Do what you want.
2007-03-07 17:38:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know this is difficult for you. Maybe you should try to ask her to think about you and her. Sit down with her and tell her to think just about the relationship and not anything else. See what she has to say about this relationship. You will be surprised if she feels the same way as you do. If she does, it is easier to tell her that both of you need to move on and remain friends; that you will still be there for her when she needs a friend. If she feels that the relationship is perfect then you have to slowly (not slow but take it slow) and honestly tell her that you do not agree with her. Tell her you feel that you both are better off as friends. She might get uptight and hysterical but you have to try to understand why she will become like that without compromising how you feel. A woman is emotional so in that situation, she may not be able to see the 'light'. She will only think that you hate her or something; so be nice. No harm being nice if at the end of the day, she accepts it and you, my dear can move on. Probably, you could try to advise her not to be so caught up with her other problems, she has to think about her happiness too. Give some positive vibes in her so that she too could move on. When you give something, you will get something back - whatever that means for you.
There you go. Take care.
2007-03-08 01:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by RockTheBabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have found something attractive about this girl in the first place what was it? Can you regain that?
Also imagine if the situation was reversed and you were facing some drama would you want support ?
How would you feel?
Still it is a difficult situation.
Maybe she senses your distance and reluctance to be honest with her and that could add to her confusion.
Wish I could offer a better answer but it is a tricky one.Whatever you decide won't be easy but maybe honesty is the best policy,Good luck.
2007-03-08 02:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a good choice. Tell her what you just said, You want to put the relationship on hold because she needs you as a friend more right now than she needs you as a boyfriend. Begin by describing all of her issues she needs help with.
Top on the list is to not make pity a big thing.
2007-03-08 01:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she needs you more now... i understand how u feel but have u at least tried to talk to her? how serious are the issues she is facing right now? u r the only one could judge if breaking up w/ her will send her over the edge. the best thing you could do is have a long, serious talk w/ her. inform how her moods and probs affects your relationship. try to tell her that at this point u feel that she needs more space and that u r willing to give that space so she could focus more on her issues. but assure her that u will be a good friend to her. good luck...
2007-03-08 01:41:02 · answer #5 · answered by xyne_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call.
It would be best if you tell her how you feel about everything. Her answer will help you make a final decision. It's evident that you care about her and that is why I suggest you talk. Otherwise it will likely be a "Walk" situation. By telling her you will be putting the responsibility of the breakup on her.
You can always be that "friend" if you think it's wise.
2007-03-08 01:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Keep it Simple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like it could be a sensitive issue. But since I don't have any good advice, I'll tell you that I heard the old Paul Simon song, "50 ways to leave your lover"..."Don't be coy roy" . Seriously though, maybe talk to one of her family members and tell them of your concerns. Family usually knows her best and maybe they can advise you. But only do this if you know they'll take you as being sincere. Good Luck.
2007-03-08 01:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Try You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you really wanna break up wit her that you should. Jus let her kno real smooth like and calm, write out everything if you got to. Thats coo you wur bout her feelings, but everybody moves on eventually, but if shes crazy and seems like the type that would do something to you or herself if you did break up with her then ask a pro.
2007-03-08 01:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by SMD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question..... I can sympathize with you. Talk to her about where she sees this relationship going. Try to get her feelings about it. Who knows, mabey she is seeing and feeling some of the same things. Now its a matter of doing things gently if you think she is that fragile. The longer you let it drag out, the harder it will be to break off the relationship. Good luck.
2007-03-08 01:40:59 · answer #9 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darlin' - I am so sorry to say except - just go - if you care about her feelings - let her know (if you want) that you will be there as a friend, but - I have also been there - and it is much harder then people think.
You really must be up front and honest.
good love - good luck
2007-03-08 01:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by tirebiter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why beat around the bush!
Be honest and tell her!
maybe she will learn from it and so will you!
no sense making it ugly, just end it. it's going nowhere...
good luck!
2007-03-08 03:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by Just me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋