For instance, people with less manners can bombard you with surprise insults. And someone with manners may not know how to react. Also, they may hope for a civilized world or they maye expect a civilized world, and not be fully prepared for the rudeness of the world. In that sense, what good is it to teach manners to a child if its just going to make them a doormat for rude peoples behaviors?
2007-03-07 17:35:37 · 13 answers · asked by wcarolinew 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
That's a pretty bad reason not to encourage civiliity. If everyone thought that way, things would continue to spiral downwards. Do you admire people who, for no reason other than they are that kind of person, always treat others with dignity and respect? Of course you do. Do you really want to emulate people who are rude, mean, unkind, selfish, and teach your children to be like that? I hope not. It's not about reacting, it's about doing what is right. And it's right to be a Godly person, kind, patient, forgiving, never returning evil for evil. It's easy to be mean and rotten. Don't do what is easy, do what lifts up humankind.
2007-03-07 17:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe that manners are one of the most important lessons to teach children. I was brought up "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" and I live by that. If I am around rude people I tell them in a matter of fact way that I don't like the way they are speaking and I would like it if they would not do that around me. If they don't then I find better friends. Just because someone has manners does not means they will be a doormat for others. Kids just need to be informed that not everyone in the world is nice.
2007-03-07 17:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not.
A person can have manners; can be kind, polite, and courteous without being "weak". A person just has to know the fact that not everyone will respond with the kindness which you offer them, and that's life. People who are unhappy towards others are unhappy with themselves.
Children also must learn that, while they should always treat others with respect and kindness, they can and should stand up for themselves when necessary.
The more children we teach to have manners, the "nicer" the world will become, because children are truly our future, and there will always be some people who are "rude" but that doesn't mean we should all be. Frankly, I could not live in a world with no nice people.
I could go on and on about this subject. If anyone wants to discuss it further, feel free to contact me. :o)
~ExW
2007-03-07 17:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by Rabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teach them manners but also tell them when to stop being polite and be firm. There's a difference between being polite and allowing people to walk all over you, having manners doesn't mean you have to do that! However you still have to know what good manners are.... if you never know, or never teach your children, then they won't know how to act nicely in any situation, even when others are being nice, when no one is trying to walk over them. They'll act inappropriately and step on people's toes without ever meaning to do so and when it's completely unnecessary because no one was trying to take advantage of them. Teach people what is considered good manners so they can decide when to act on them and when not to.
2007-03-08 03:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me I think manners are important. Having manners doesn't make you a doormat or a victim, low self esteem does.
Not having manners is a real disadvantage which can leave you open to ridicule and misunderstanding.
Low self esteem in turn also makes it more difficult to have a realistic perspective and cope with peer pressure and bullies.
For me good manners are a life skill I can pass on to my children which will help them mix in all types of social settings in a positive way. I wouldn't deny that to them.
2007-03-07 18:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by flynns_mor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Esther said it beautifully. Ya can't stop being a good and mannerly person because of all the creeps.
I do thank a person for holding a door open for me and other times I've held it open for someone else and they just walk thru with entitlement. But, I will continue to do the same. It was the way I was brought up. But, I was also taught to stop being nice to people that continue to be rude. I am big on 'thanks' because people don't have to do many simple acts of kindness that they do. I want them to know I recognize it. In the case of jerks or bullies, I don't bother speaking to them or worry about manners. It is about boundaries.
2007-03-07 17:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by cgirl97 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having manners doesn't mean you are a victim. Being well-mannered means you will not stoop to the tacky levels of those who are ill-mannered. Let people say what they want to say, just stand up straight, smile in their face, and let them know that their little comments mean nothing to you. You take away a person's power over you when you just ignore them.
2007-03-07 20:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not so much manners as it is nicety. You can have manners, but also be nice only to those who deserve it. Even religion teaches us that.
Here are two examples.
An eye for an eye.
Do onto others as they would do onto you.
Be nice to those who deserve it, and step on them if they don't. Then maybe they will go somewhere else to be childish and rude.
2007-03-07 21:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. What makes people victims is lack of self respect and lack of assertiveness. There's a fine line between looking out for number one and being rude. There's nothing at all rude about demanding your fair share.
2007-03-07 20:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really does take more courage to do what is right. Ill-mannered people have so much working against them.
2007-03-07 17:45:12 · answer #10 · answered by CrookedGrin35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋