should i tell him?

Question

my bofriend and i have been together for two years now and we have been though many ups and downs but recenly he has been asking me how many sexual partners have i had before him i feel like my past is my past and i told him that i don't want to tell him is that wrong

Answer 1

i think you have the right for not telling him about the past as you say past is past one cannot live with past memories and regarding him he should not ask you about the past life he should like you the way you are and not torture you asking about the old stuff tell him to live a fresh life with you and not ask about the old things

Answer 2

absolutely. you should always tell him whatever it is. communication and trust are the corner stones of any relationship. Without them you are not truly in a relationship. Besides, it is in your past and if he is a real man he will understand that. If he is not worth it he will pout and get pissy. If he does it is a sign that maybe he is not the right guy. He shold applaud you for telling him but then again he shouldn't really care anyway because it is in the past. I wonder if he has told you how many partners he has had. If he gives you any flack and he probaly will... just tell him he shold be happy knowing that there have bee nothers but he is the one now and he is the last one as far as you are concerned. Men have weak egos so tell him gently, remind him it was before him and play-up to his ego by reminding him he is the one now and the last. Even tell him he is the best even if it is not true. If you have a trully kinky past you may want to avoid details but you should always feel free to tell the person you are with anything. Out of curiosity, how many lover have each of you had and how old are you two? What do you think is a good number of sexual partners to have in one lifetime?

Answer 3

Your boyfriend shouldn't be asking you that question and you shouldn't answer it either. You two are in this relationship to move forward, not backward. And if you two have been together this long and have gone through many ups and downs, maybe you should think about where this relationship is going. Do you want to move forward and get married and have a future? If you're with someone who is constantly reminding you of your past, it's time to move on. I hope the best for you! And I hope that you make the right decision. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

I think I would stick too your guns, he sounds threatened by your past and therefore I don't think it would help the relationship one way or the other if he knew... If he knows you have had a previous sexual partner then let him know that atleast you know there was one other.. and leave the rest out of it... let him know it's in the past and will stay there...

If you are freaky sexed with your current b/f, then possibly it makes him a horney monkey that you have had other partners and he is mature enough to handle it... but.. probably not...

It is your body, your life... and you know what is best... and sometimes we all make past mistakes and learn from those.. so let the past go and move forward and when he brings him up let him know that it isn't open for discussion and let it die.

Answer 5

I believe honesty & communication are the two basic foundations to making a relationship work. If a person is really open with their lives that gives their partner security in knowing that they lines are open for mutual respect. The past is the past, although I don't see the importance of how many partners you had in the past other than the obvious medical side of it, he still may just be curious. If it's important to him ask him why it is important. Also, ask yourself why its important to you NOT to tell him. I'd recommend going to him and not to the internet for help, he's YOUR boyfriend, take pride in him being with you & talk with him, I think he'll appreciate your honesty if he's a decent person.

Answer 6

It's not wrong at all. It's is your past and if you want to keep it private then that is your choice. Men want to know that to size it up. Maybe even to use that in a fight or as an excuse later on for breakin it off. It is to add up the figures. You don't have to tell him that. It's like your diary, would you let anyone read your personal thoughts. If you wouldn't let someone read your personal and private thoughts then why would you tell someone even your boyfrined that, it's so personal and really doesn't matter at all. What matter's is that your with him and he is important to you. All the best, peace.

Answer 7

No it is not wrong. You could ell him, but then you would have to deal with his insecurity afterwards. Trust it will happen. Question, do you know how many he has been with? If so, how do you feel when he told you and if not why open a can of worms, this is your past not his. He should think of the present and furture, not what happen way back when.

Answer 8

While your past is your past, He has a right to know, at least the cliff notes, of who you are. Think of it this way, If you did something that would make him not want to be with you, before you meet him, and didn't tell him, and somehow he found out, wouldn't better to tell him yourself, and if he left, wouldn't you rather it be now, then after your married and have kids?

Answer 9

Don't tell him...he's testing you...'cause guys want to know "How Many Other Guys Have Been 'down there' Before Me". Tell him the correct amount until after marriage or something like that...If you tell him the truth now...he will look at you differently...don't do it. Unless You Want To Get Rid Of Him, Of Course...l.o.l.

Answer 10

No don't tell He will only use it against you that's why he feels he needs to know.Its alright for guys to screw around but not girls that's how they think He will get jealous about it and then you will argue over your exes don't even go there tell him it only matters who you are sleeping with now and get over himself.keep the past where it belongs in the past. Good luck.