Me and Dominique have been dating for four months now, we've been great. Jay was my best friend, he was askin for a date since I moved here from hurricane Katrina, but I told him he was too old for me andz Dominique is way older then him. I never had the right chance to tell him about Dominique, but I'm sure he had a hint ever since a very terriable night, 5 months ago. a couple of weeks ago Jay kinda really hurt me, so I decided to forget about him for a while, but I couldn't I went to talk to him three weeks later, hey he's was my best friend. We talked andz he said I couldn't do this anymore, and he was holding me back from life, but only cause he loved me. He made sure his number was deleted off my phone even though I remember it by heart. His eyes was filled with sadness, I couldn't help but to let some tears fall. I gave his daughter and him a hug good-bye and he drove me home in silence. Now I feel so lost without Jay, I mean he was my best friend the third half of me.
2007-03-07 16:09:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My dear, you sound as if you are really confused about what a 'best friend' is and a 'separate relationship is with someone else'. First of all, you don't say how old you are, but if you are dealing with men who are older and have children, I would think you have some idea of what you are getting into. A best friend is a very good thing to have - men friends are even better because they help us to understand the male species in many ways. It is difficult when that 'best friend' line is crossed and you start to have deeper and more personal emotional feelings for your friend. If the two of you are on one accord about your 'emotional feelings' there should be some way to work it out. If I'm reading you right - sounds like you and Jay had a physical relationship? So, what are your true feelings about Dominique? It might be that he is a buffer and you are really wanting to be with Jay. If this is true - you and Jay should really talk it out - I mean thoroughly. You cannot commit fully to any other man if you have not reconciled your feelings with your best friend. Either Jay will stay in the "best friend" category and you'll date other guys and live your life to the fullest - or you and Jay will make the commitment you seem to really 'want' to make and live your life to the fullest. Good luck. Your heart knows how it feels, but your mind and spirit know the truth.
2007-03-07 16:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lexxiss you need to ask yourself these questions:
1. why you with Dominique? (How do you feel about him)
2. why you rejected Jay in the first place?
3. What, Who, do you desire to be with?
first of all age doesn't even matter at this point. It sounds like at first you wasn't ready for a real relationship, so you hooked up with Dominique to get rid of the Issue, bad move. then something "good" must have went down that night with Jay til you said something about Dominique anyways.. maybe Dominique name did slip out your mouth, or whatever you said to refer to Dominique, doesn't mean he was the right one for you. Jay really cares about you and when he realized he hurt you, he seperated himself from you. You need time to thing about whats going on with your twisted feelings, and Jay must be under alot of stress dealing with his baby girl, and only God knows what else. This is time for you to relax see what is really there between you and these two guys. Do you want to deal with the guy with the simple life? or the guy with baby on his hands? up to you.
2007-03-08 01:04:11 · answer #2 · answered by can't help it 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have brought a whole lot of drama into his life.
Probably you've had a tough time too, and not just the hurricane.
It sounds as if you should go back to him.
Can you honestly say that if you jump into bed with him, and the relationship doesn't work out, you'll never regret having done so?
If so, then say it to him, and convince him it's true, and make him a very happy man, repeatedly, while you're working through the rest of your issues. That will go a big way towards making up for the years you've jerked him around.
2007-03-08 03:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by Curt Monash 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never know what you got until it is gone sweetheart. Do you not know how painful it is to watch somebody you have deep feeling for and they don't have the same, that really hurts like hell. Maybe he saw how much he was holding you back because he loved you so he split. The only problem is here you didn't tell him how you felt about him. maybe it is too late or maybe Cupid is teaching you a big fat lesson
2007-03-08 01:57:52 · answer #4 · answered by lillie m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give it time. He is probably hurting too. Until then, you should just live your life. One day after you are all healed and you have given everyone enough time, call him. Take it easy. You don't have to date until you feel all better. Chances are, he misses you too, but maybe you are meant to be friends... I know this advice probably doesn't mean much to you, but I really hope it helps!
~Mar~
2007-03-08 00:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have a 3rd half. That would be a third of you. Figure out which sexual orientation you want. Stop tormenting others while you figure this out.
2007-03-08 00:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by jam_please 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋