my parents are so religious and make me and my sister go to church every sunday...?

Question

but im an atheist and they dont know it. how do i tell them? i dont want them to disown me but i cant keep doing something that i dont believe in.

Answer 1

I'm sorry. Maybe you could embarrass them somehow. Bring a female friend to church and introduce her as your girlfriend or something. Or you could date a really freaky guy and bring him to church. Or you could ask about the things that don't make sense to you. Or you could make a prayer request asking god to make sure you are not pregnant from the great time you had the night before. Or you could cross everything out in you bible that you think is b.s.

Or you could save yourself a lot of trouble and embarassment, and just tell them. If they don't listen or respect your right to make your own choice, maybe you could encourage them to see a (nonreligious) family counselor who can help them see that it is normal for teens to grow into their own person.

Answer 2

You're gonna have to tell them, but not alone. If you have a counselor at school, talk it over with him/her first and maybe get that person to call a meeting with you and your parents. That way you will feel safer and if they really freak out, you have a witness. You need someone with some training in psychology to help you through this, because your fear of being disowned for not sharing your parents' religious beliefs is a serious issue.

Once that is done, if you are forced to go to church, talk with the pastor. No decent church leader is going to want you there against your will, and if it takes the preacher to tell your parents that you can't force belief, that's what it will take.

Answer 3

They won't disown you. They may be very firmly attactched to their beliefs and ideas, but the only reason why they make you go to church is that they want you to lead a happy life/afterlife. The best way to tell them is out and out, "I can't go to church anymore; I'm an atheist." Mind you, don't tell them right before you're about to leave for church, that could go over the wrong way. Also, it's good to experience different viewpoints and see the pros and cons of different religions. This includes atheism. That may be a good argument to use if they still make you go.

Remember, no matter what people make you do, they can never change what you think. Even if your parents frown on you for this, you are still your own person.

However, if they are really opposed to your being atheist, stick it out. If you are atheist in your heart, you can stand a few more years of it.

Answer 4

What may need to happen is to simply sit down with your parents and have an honest conversation about religion and how you interprete the world around you and how a divine being relates to it. I was in a similar dilemma when I was a kid, I'm half White/Oriental and both parents had different religion and was pressuring both my brother and I to go with their choice. My brother ended up being an atheist like yourself and I'm agnostic (personally I think it's crazy to throw all your eggs in one basket and claim to be able to define God enough to one religion). Remember though that if you do have this "talk" with your parents they may react in a negative and unpredictable way initially due to not realizing this and most likely wonder where you're getting your "negative" influence.

To me there's not enough proof to show whether god exists or not but if there is a god I don't think it can also be proven that it cares one way or another as well. For all we know we can be the result of some Alien experiment or even a by product (like sewage waste) that evolved to the current society, by many definitions we could call this a "god" the creator but this wouldn't indicate such a god as "divine" in a spiritual sense. Though I'm saying prior as a joke, many believe in a god because they feel we have to have been created and that there is a purpose for existence writ by a divine being and feel that it must have an active agenda in their life, what gets me is how can people be so self-absorbed to believe they would be so important to such a powerful being? Your parents may not have an answer for you but don't forget though there may or may not be a god, if there is it may or may not care for you, there is one thing though that is that at least your parents brought you into this world and it seems they care enough for you to provide you spiritual guidance so if their answer don't go your way use this to get yourself thru church sessions/mass.

Answer 5

Are you sure they would disown you? I am sure that, as is the case with many Christians-turned-Atheist, that your parents will love you all the same. Unless they are crazy Christian fundamentalists.

In the meantime, you could let them off easy and tell them that you do not believe that church is necessary for you, as it is driving you away from Christianity, and when you grow older you might be able to decide for yourself what belief is right for you. If that is Christianity then they will be proud, and if not then you can be glad you are out of the household.

You could also suggest the same for your sister if you feel she is being "brainwashed", as I personally feel it is wrong to force religion on others, especially one's children. Children are incapable of comprehending what religion is, and until they mature it is best to allow them to come to their own realization of the world around them, instead of being spoon-fed others' beliefs to the point they do not believe anything else. This harbors ignorance.

I believe even your parents will be able to sympathize with this view. And, if all is successful, you might be able to be a full fledged out-of-the-closet atheist. I'll personally invite you to our secret atheist meetings where we discuss how to make fossil forgeries, falsify lab results, and burn Bibles. It's a wonderful time.

Answer 6

Look at it this way. Your parents love you, if they didn't they wouldn't care about where you ended up. There are many kids that go through that pain everyday.

They go to church because they believe it helps them and they don't want you (whom they love so much) to miss out on something they believe is good.

even if you don't believe in God, go to church. You have no idea how hurt your parents will be if you don't. You are blessed to have parents in the first place and additionally, they care about you. God has truly been good to you. don't hurt your parents, treasure them while you have them. I can tell you that not having parents leaves the biggest scar in your life.

Answer 7

If you don't want to go, and you truly don't believe in what they're trying to teach you, the best thing to do is try to tell them in a rational manner. If your parents are the kind who might want to beat you into loving jesus, or punish you in other ways, the only thing I can suggest is to tough it out til you're old enough to not live by their rules. Hopefully your parents are cool enough to listen to you.

IF nothing else, you can do what I did when I was forced to go to church, and just spend the hour daydreaming, learn to sleep with your eyes open, learn to read music, study teh bible and find discrepancies between what the preacher says and what it says, dissect the church's "interpretations" of things, etc.

Answer 8

They probably won't disown you. My parents were in their late 20's and when I told them I hated church and I didn't believe in what it was teaching me. I came to find out they didn't buy it either, they were just going to make their parents happy. My grand parents were disappointed and every once and awhile my grandmother tries to save my soul but no one disowned me Tell them you would rather be honest and disappoint them then to be dishonest and gain their approval.

Answer 9

You would not like any answer I could give you... it is clear from your posting that you are still quite immature... see...I told you, you would not like it... but it is also clear that your parents heve made some errors in you instruction... so both of you are in need of proper instruction... you do not give what "religion", "denomination" you are being compeled to participate in.... so it is not possable for anyone here to give you a proper answer...... If it is some part of a faith claiming the name Christian I would be glad to answer some basic questions... I do accept email... one Honest question will receive one honest answer to the best of my ability.... my first answer is... I am near 60 and I have been of The True Christian Faith for 7 years... I know with abolute certainty that God is real... and I know with absolute certainty of the Truth of The Salvation Message.... I know with absolute certainty that the atheist postiton is in error... beyond that there is a lot I do not know... but I know God and I know The Truth of What He has promised me... and I am willing to share,,, with no requirement for any one to "join the club''... I can not compel you or any one else to "believe" what I know to be The Truth... all I can do is offer to share...

Answer 10

You could either tell them you are atheist and have them
disown you which is not so good
or just keep your secret to yourself and keep on going
to church and church is not so bad I love the goodies
and the food and drinks are great
I have many friends at church and have fun and enjoy'