Need help to overcome emotions behind being a OCD hoarder. Need to work thru unlying problems. Group?

Question

I know I'm an OCD Hoarder. Started by protecting myself from sexual abuse at 12 yrs old by not allowing anyone to come into my room unless I heard them. This abuse started soon after I was moved in with family and was forced to leave behind everything I had owned in my childhood. I have other OCD problems but this is the one that causes me pain. I am under so much criticisim because I am incapable of organizing my house. When I work on it, I'm okay for a couple of hours but become severly depressed and stop and hide in my house. I've no support system. No family except for the person responsible for my abuse in my youth. That person is on my case about being lazy and messy. They don't understand OCD because they don't see their own OCD which is the exact opposite of my clutter. I need help with my depression that results from my OCD. Vicious cycle that perpetuates the problem. I am not available for a 'walk'in' therapy session due to the nature of my employment. Suggestions??

I am only near my home for a total of 4 days per month. Mostly weekends. I need some sort of online group that I can form some sort of alliance and support with. Some people who have been where I am and know what I'm going thru.

I have nobody to handle my expenses (bills and paychecks) so it is THAT person who handles this for me. I have no other relatives. I spent years of therapy trying to recover from my abuse. I feel like I have worked thru this issue some and I know to get the distance I need when to get my head back on straight.

I really appreciate the responses Thanks

Answer 1

As I am sure you know, OCD is an anxiety disorder that springs up from an overwhelming anxiety and a compulsion to perform a specific act in order to reduce that anxiety.
Medication can help alleviate the anxiety, but it will not deal with behaviours. To do that, you have to see a professional.

In your post you listed all the reasons that you cannot see a professional. Let me propose this--that you are intentionally making excuses in order to perpetuate your illness (i am not accusing you of doing this maliciously. Many people with OCD feel that to be their "normal" state and feel great fear of changing the status quo).
Let me further propose that it may take some changes in your life for you to be able to see a professional on a regular basis. You may have to change jobs, or change your schedule.
My question to you then is--how important is getting better? If its important enough to you,you will take the necessary steps to make it happen, even if you have to sacrifice right now to make it happen.

Please believe that I am not trying to judge you. I know how hard it is to change. I applaud you for having the courage to take this step. But talking to people on the internet, or even joining a support group, is not going to help you if you don't see a psychologist and get some help. I'm sorry honey, I wish it were easier but its not. Change is never easy. It scary and its hard. But it sounds to me like you are tired of living with anxiety and depression.
Make the necessary steps. I have great faith that you can do this.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You do need to seek help from a professional. I see that you are not available on a 'walk-in' basis, but you could schedule appointments that fit around your employment hours.

I don't understand why you have any contact, whatsoever, with the person who abused you in your youth. This is unhealthy, and will only keep reminding you of the past--not enabling you to live in the here-and-now.

Call your local emergency room, ask for the phone number of the free/sliding-scale mental health clinic in your area. Tell them about the infrequent hours that you are available for therapy. Some of them have 24-hour hotlines, so that you can call any time that you are not feeling right--or just need to talk to someone.

I wish you well.

Answer 3

Yes, there is medication that can soften your OCD and let you be more free in your daily life.