Is it time to admit that something is wrong with me?

Question

Having a lot of physical & mental problems since last October. I'm being treated for GERD but my mental state started going down around the same time as my gerd symptoms showed up so one may have caused the other. I'm a single mother with two small children and I live in a city with no family or friends. I started having anxiety attacks at night with hands/legs shaking and an overwhelming sense of fear that my body is going to give out and I'm going to die. These attacks happen like once a month but these waves of fear that something is going to happen a lot. In my day to day I try to forget about my worries at work but when I'm with the kids or even by myself I sometimes feel like my life is not a real life. It's hard to explain but I don't know how to be happy with my life and raising my kids alone.

As a kid I remember having waves of fear sometimes and not being able to fall asleep even when nothing was really on my mind. Could I have always had a problem and not known it?

I returned from a plane trip last night and I freaked out on the plane. I wasn't always nervous about flying but now I am. I sat down on the plane and I overheard the woman next to me saying on the phone to say a prayer for us since it was snowing where we were. I jumped up and told the flight attendant I wanted to get off. I was trembling and crying and she ended up taking 5 minutes to convince me that the plane was safe. For the rest of the flight, I had to pre-occupy myself by doing a crossword puzzle and not think about the fear. I'm worried this fear will get worse and worse with time and I'm too embarrased to talk about it with family or friends.

Answer 1

Oh it is always time to admits something is wrong and then sacrifice a few goats

Answer 2

Being a single mum is hard at the best of times and from what you have said you go to work, then home to look after the kids. Have you any social life, or is it the same thing day in and day out. Anxiety and stress can cause the symptoms you describe, you are not going mad or anything and it is great that you are so aware about what is happening to you. There are anti depressants that are really good for anxiety, they help keep you calm. You are going through a rough patch at the moment but things will improve, why not join some kind of group so that you can interact with others. Church groups are good

Answer 3

I was a single mom of 3 for a while and I know that feeling. You have a tremendous stress factor in your life right now. Even if you had anxiety as a kid, the fact that you are responsible for all this stuff can certainly cause GERD and anxiety. Talk to your dr. Let him know about these feelings. there is a clinical test he can give you and medications that can help. The more he knows about your life situation the better he can diagnose and treat it. You should also find a support system like a church or community center where you can talk to other moms. Some churches have "parents without partners" play dates and outings. Some have MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers) programs where you can get some support. or at least a listening ear. Just check your area. I know sometimes you just want to run! but hang in, reach out and know someone out there is praying for you.

Answer 4

Lack of social support can be a major problem for anxiety and depression. You should move closer to family and friends, in my opinion, if you possibly can. Ask for help, they probably miss you and will want to help. Otherwise, here are my anxiety tips:

Try turning the heat up in the house or dressing much more warmly. It is hard to feel anxiety when you are too warm. I was able to cut out ativan use altogether by using this trick. Saved me big $$ too, because pills cost way more than heat. Hot baths work too, and in a pinch, like at work/school, you can try running hot water over your hands.

Avoid caffeine like the plague. Also, some cold remedies can cause anxiety. Look for the "agitation in children" warning on the box. Adults can get problems too.

Try meditation tapes like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. They may seem silly at first, but they work!!I made my own CD using the guided imagery section of the anxiety and phobia workbook. I couldn't stand my own voice, so I altered it with a free program called Audacity.

Find a club to join and MAKE yourself go until you actually look forward to it. Isolation makes things worse. There must be some kind of club for single mothers.

Exercise at least 1/2 hour a day, and anytime you feel really hyper or depressed. Exercise is a great mood stabilizer and cuts down on anxiety a lot.

Look up (using google) good "sleep hygeine" tips so you can sleep better. Like go to bed and get up about the same time each day, even weekends. Don't use your bedroom to watch TV and read and use the computer and all that-just use the room as a bedroom normally would be used. Don't do stuff that pumps you up right before bed, like exercising and using the computer. You want to use that last hour to wind down-Take a bath after the kids are in bed? Make the bedroom really dark, cover up the clock radio, even so the light doesn't shine at you. If you live in the rackety city, use a noise generator (makes wave sounds and the like) to cover up the city sounds.

Put a lot of colorful things around the house, happy type things, and keep the blinds open and let the sun in. Get yourself some flowers. Put on some pretty clothes. Make a list of things that make you happy. Here's some things on my list: A basket full of fluffy kittens, bread fresh from the oven, Fireworks popping on a warm summer evening, The first fireflies of the season, The crisp sound of a saltine cracker breaking, fresh sheets on the bed, etc. Use all your senses and read that list when you are breaking down.

Work on time management if being overwhelmed and late for things and too much to do is getting to you. Cut back on other responsibilities temporarily if you can. Maybe cut back on housework?

You got a boyfriend? Extra physical touch is very helpful. Most people in the US or UK are touch deprived, so hold hands more, hug more, give shoulder rubs, etc. Hug your kids a whole lot more. A pet is good to cuddle with, too, if your home situation allows you to get one. (I'm an animal lover, don't get one if you can't commit to it for 15 years)

Your situation would be stressful for anyone. A single mom needs a lot of support from the community, and you have moved away from yours. Googling panic attacks might give you more info, I dont' usually get those. Prozac did help me, tho, in the brief period when I did get them.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have anxiety and panic disorder. Sometimes they go hand in hand. I have anxiety and panic attacks. Just depends on what's going on in my life. I also suffer from Major Depressive Disorder. It's only considered "major" because I let it go for 2 years and it got worse. Same with anxiety and panic disorders. They "can" get worse. Doesn't always mean they will, but by what you've explained, sounds like they are. I also had a friend that had anxiety attacks, (also had panic attacks), while she was driving. Dr's thought she may have had epilepsy because she would have to pull over in time to "freeze" up. She couldn't move. All she could do is scream for help. This happened a few times while driving. Turned out to be anxiety attacks. She had to take meds and she refused to drive for some time. Couldn't even work. I would suggest that you see a Dr. A.S.A.P. You need to find out what is or what's not going on with you either way. Especially if you don't have friends or family to help you with your kids incase something happens to you mentally. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your little ones.

Answer 6

Yes, one thing can cause, or at least influence it. But don't start worring about it. Consult with a physician for the best advice, and medication if you need it. Also, ask for a consultation to a counselor. It feels good to talk to an understanding person.
The state of California did a study on friends. Not surprisingly, they found out that friends are important part of good mental health. Develop some new friends. Perhaps you could go to a mother's support group. If you can't find one, start one of your own. You'd be surprised how many mothers, single or not, feel like you do.
Also, every day, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Really. And, go to Orpah.com and find out about her grattitude journal. It's a good help.

Answer 7

It sounds like panic attacks. You may want to seek out some help at a womens clinic if money is an issue and talk to a counselor. Usually panic attacks are helped by controlling your thoughts, rational thinking.

Being alone with no support could be putting you in a position of feeling scared, as a child. I suggest you get out and meet people. Church is a great place and will be good for your spiritual life and your children. Also, meeting other moms with kids too. You need to reach out for help now, you deserve to have a happier life. Take care.

Answer 8

A lot of good advice has been given here, so I'm not going to say a lot.

I'm not a doctor but I've been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder, and what you describe are classic panic attacks. Yes, it's time to get help. Exercise is good advice, but it alone will not fix it. Same with nutrition. It's a medical problem. See your doctor, or if you have insurance that allows it, go directly to a psychiatrist. Anxiety is so common that I think most good general physicians can treat you, but if you can go directly to a mental health professional, I suppose that would be better.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 9

As a long term panic attack sufferer, I can tell you that it comes and goes and more than anything is related to three factors: 1) chemicals, 2) sleep deprivation, and 3) stress. I don't mean chemicals like cleaning agents, but rather chemicals like caffeine, antihistamines, or any strong medication. Anything that alters your bodies chemical levels can be problematic. Sleep deprivation is another cause/result. When I don't get enough sleep and drink too much coffee even now that I've got pretty good control of it, I can get to feeling very flighty and waifer-ish, if that makes sense. Sounds like stress is a problem for you too. I don't know what exactly you mean by admitting that something is wrong, but it seems to me that nothing is really wrong so to speak. Actually it seems like for you something simply is. For me, panic attacks are just like the tipping point of my physical/mental state. I don't think of it as a problem, really just a liability. It's all about the tenuousness of our chemical states. If you through them off, things happen. If you can keep them more or less uneffected, things most likely won't. Worst case scenario, you can get a serotonin-moderating prescription that can really help things out.

Answer 10

I would definately seek some help. It is hard as hell to be a single mom, especially with two kids! You have a lot on your plate. Stress can do some crazy things to you. Get some help before you start having panic attacks at work, or worse in front of the kids.

Answer 11

You sound sooo much like a single mom friend of mine. Both of you need more adult time and interests in things that fascinate you, as well as good dates. I feel the same way as you sometimes and I am in a relationship and have no kids. It will really take some mental discipline on your part to push out negative thoughts like that and find something to focus on. Don't be idle. Knit, find good books, take a class....do things that inspire you. Regarding your heath, if your doctor is not helping you, find another one who can. Ailments and poor health can do a lot to bring a person down mentally. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me anytime.