Why is it i cannot get my kid to understand that her boyfriend is just holding her back?

Answer 1

don't you remember the day....she will just have to realize this for herself....let her figure it out....if you stay out of it maybe it will happen sooner that you think

Answer 2

Well, I am of 2 minds on this one. Or rather I have 2 things to say. One - just about every teenager I have ever known thinks that they know something that other people don't, and therefore they won't listen to others (particularly authority). That seems to be part of the make up - and it is probably for a very good reason having to do with getting new ideas into the society or some such.

Second, how about not complaining about the guy, but helping her see him in a new light. Try to get them into situations where she can see that he is not her equal (if he is not smart, try to help him show that to her by inviting him to play board games or "how do you spell that..." - if he is not comfortable in social situations, have a couple of parties with other kids and some good catches around) for she will only realize what a problem it will be when it is a problem.

I don't suggest this to be mean, but this is how I myself learned this lesson. I learned when I went out with a younger boy and everyone thought he was my kid brother and when I played scrabble in my neighborhood - when my boyfriend spelled knews (like a knewspaper) I could see this would not work out. Or the guy who freaked when he had to accompany me to the office christmas party. That is how I learned that there is more to love and a life together than hearts and flowers.

Peace!

Answer 3

I really wish I knew! I have the same problem with my daughter and her so-called boyfriend. He has done nothing but hold her back since day 1 and I just can't seem to make her see it! I can't wait til she wakes the hell up!!! If you figure it out,let me in on the secret ok?

Answer 4

YOU CAN'T!! You have to just support her and be there for her when it all falls apart. You do not want her to be mad at you. I know its hard to hold your tongue but you gotta let your kids make there own mistakes sometimes - especially when it comes to relationships. Sometimes dating the duds teaches us the most.
Good luck!

Answer 5

how old is your kid? if its puppy love, then of course they're not going to listen. they are blind at that age, and will come to their own realization in time. you have to let them make their own mistakes. my parents did the same thing, and when i finally realized something was wrong, i was better for it, rather than breaking up with her because my parents thought i should. let her make her own mistakes. we only grow through pain, and it's how we learn.

Answer 6

She has to make her own mistakes. You have to be there for her but you have to let her find out for herself about this creep. You two will laugh about this 10 years from now over lunch.

Answer 7

first of all, this person isnt YOUR kid.
you dont own her.
so watch it.

we all have our oen problems, and if she wants to keep the guy, then let her. most likely, she KNOWS he's a bad influence but just doesnt wanna let him go.

talk to her about it.
it may not work.

pls try to understand though...
that if you brought her up with a good sense of values/beliefs &morals, she'll make the good decisions.

Answer 8

That would be because love really is blind. It can be and often is incredibly stupid too. Anddddd (gonna get myself innit here) women are very stubborn, and often teenage ones could give stubborn lessons to a Missouri mule.

Answer 9

It is just the nature of the beast..
Good luck reasoning with love struck youth...

Answer 10

because she wont and the more you try the more she is going to cling to him best not to say anything she might end up resenting you and be with him more that is what happened to my daughter she ended up married to the guy .