Moving away from home? Please help.?

Question

I'm living at home, but I really want to move out and live with my best friend in her new apartment, but there are some problems that I'm unsure about. She lives in Texas and I live in New Jersey, so it'd be kind of a hard move for someone who's never really left home before. The thought of leaving kind of scares me and I'm not really sure what I should do first about it. Also, I'm really concerned about leaving my dad alone by himself. My mom died when I was 15 and he hasn't remarried or dated. I'm an only child, so it's always just been him and myself, though my aunt and grandmother live nearby.

Money isn't really too much of an issue in this situation, but I am so lost about what to do. I really do want to live with my friend since I really want to be able to do things with her and I don't want to be living at home my entire life, but I'm just don't know how I'm going to pull the trigger and just do it.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Any advice? Please help!

Answer 1

I can only give you the advice my parents gave me: If we raised you right, we raised you to be able to live on your own and to be your own person.

If your dad (and mom, too) did a good job raising you they gave you the skills to move out and live on your own. If you don't do that it's like a slap in the face to everyone who raised you.

Your dad is an adult and already knows how to live on his own or you'd still be growing up at grandma's instead of just living nearby. He'll relearn any skills he's forgotten when he needs to.

And moving out doesn't mean you won't visit back and forth. It's wonderful when my parents come out to the east coast to see me and I can show them around. And I love going back to the Southwest to be home for a little while.

Hopefully you'll be making those trips in the opposite direction pretty soon.

Answer 2

I came from a military family so it was always just the 4 of us against the world. My mom has always been my best friend, I'm her rock and vice versa.

I decided to move to another state and she fought me on it at first but eventually gave her blessing. She says that day I left she cried all the way home from the airport...what she didnt know was that I cried all the way to NC on the plane! :)

But the point is, I knew I had to have my own life and to try something different. And although I miss them like crazy, I'm happy being on my own and she's happy for having learned to get on with life without me.

I can understand feeling guilty, I did too. But in the end, maybe it will be the right move for you. Try it! If it doesnt work you know you've always got a home with your dad to come back to. Maybe he'll get out some and date while youre gone!

Answer 3

wow I remember going through the same situation when i moved with my now husband about 9months ago. To be honest it feels horrible to leave a parent and move on ur own. My husband would go to work at night and come home about 3am. I really felt sad, upset and depressed I use to cry every night cuz I was just so attached to my parents. I would think of them alot n I would always say to myself I wish I can go back but I didnt I also felt it was time for me to get my own place and move on. so when my husband would come from work he would sometimes find me crying. Its just a feeling that its really hard to explain. And guess wat?? I now have a 3month old baby boy I live with my husband and my parents. lol... sometimes I feel I can't be without them.. Now ur situation, if ur the only child it will be harder for ur dad he would probably miss u alot. It just made me sad to think that u said u don't have ur mom alive, I think u n ur dad will miss each other. y don't u try taking him with u. I know sometimes people say "oh u have to go u can't live with mom n dad ur entire life" but its just hard especially if ur really attach to them the way I am with my parents. Best wishes to u n ur dad!

Answer 4

no bother it,go ahead