My husband and I are supposed to go to a wedding of family friends (his side of the family).
However, we can't go as we had already booked and paid for a holiday during the time of the wedding.
His side of the family are harassing us saying that we have to buy a present for the bride and groom.
I don't think we should as we are not going to the wedding. I didn't expect people to buy me a gift when they couldn't attend my wedding.
What do you think?
2007-03-07 15:14:32 · 18 answers · asked by Ally 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If they are just acquaintance type friends, then you should send a card from you and your husband sending your regrets for not being able to attend and wishing them the best.
If the bride and groom are good friends of your husband, then you should send a small gift.
If his family is so worried about it, they can buy a gift from you and your husband and put your card on it. Have fun on your vacation.
2007-03-07 15:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by stseukn 5 · 18⤊ 2⤋
Well you don't HAVE to do anything! If you received an invitation the very least you should do is send a card with a personal note inside. Remember, weddings are huge life events and should be acknowledged in some way. If it were me, my feelings would be hurt if I didn't receive at least a card from people I invited...especially family. True, you aren't required to send a gift, but it's probably in the interest of family peace to send a little something, maybe a picture frame or other inexpensive gift. His family doesn't need to know exactly what you sent, suffice it to say you sent "something" if they are rude enough to inquire.
2007-03-08 00:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by MelB 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The gift is not an exchange for attending the wedding. it is an expression of your caring for the couple by helping them with the things they will need to set up a household. Your husband's family is right, you were invited, you should send a gift to the happy couple. It is the least you can do since you are not going to attend. It is the right thing to do but you will do what you like
2007-03-07 23:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You don't HAVE to give them a gift whether you are going or aren't.
But it is polite to at least send a card saying congratulations and thanks for the invite sorry we can't come. A little something is nice to get the couple started in their new life. It doesn't have to be expensive. How about a few candles for their new home, some kitchen utensils or mixing bowls, or some picture frames to put their wedding pics in.
It was rude for the rest of the family to try to make you bring something. just focuss on the couple and whether you want to or not give them something.
2007-03-07 23:43:05 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This question comes up all the time on Dear Abby. If you don't go to the wedding, you're not obligated to buy a gift. However, if you feel like it (and here, to preserve the peace), you night think about getting a nice card or a token gift (a small, inexpensive present like an album).
2007-03-07 23:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by cre8tiv390 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes. If you were invited, proper etiquette states that you should send a gift, whether or not you attend. The same is true for bridal and baby showers. Obviously, you don't have to send them Lenox service for 12, but even something simple like a gift card to a store where they registered along with a heartfelt note is appropriate.
2007-03-08 09:44:49 · answer #6 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
heh heh - hubby's stuck you with the decision.
IMO, Not going to a wedding doesn't excuse one from buying a gift (in the same way, going doesn't necessarily say one has to buy a gift).
Depends on how close hubby is to this family friend. If their parents supported him or watched him grow up.... yeah, I'd say you might want to be gifting. Esp. if their parents sent gifts your way.
2007-03-08 00:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by going_crazy_30m 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You do NOT in any way shape or form HAVE to give ANYONE a gift, whether you show up at the wedding or not.
Gifts should NEVER ever be expected, not matter if you can or cannot go.
2007-03-08 11:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If these people mean anything to you, would you not want to buy them a gift. But they should not be asking for a gift, or telling you to buy a gift. I think the wedding is just a formality. The gift is for celebration or congradulation of their unity
2007-03-07 23:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by brandon42032 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give their greedy asses a card and $15-25 gift card from Target, Walmart, Carsons etc. choose one. A little something is better than nothing and you can't fault anyone who didn't attend and still gave something!
2007-03-07 23:50:14 · answer #10 · answered by ginarose 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋