washing out with soap?

Question

my 11 year old son says the f word all the time, im sick of it! what should i do? what way (with soap) should i give it to him? how long? how much?

Answer 1

the swear jar was going to be my answer as well. If he doesn't put the money in himself you do it and hold back on allowance. When it is time to dole out the money remind him. Then go get you a pedicure. You've earned it.

Answer 2

I don't agree with some people here as for giving them money when they don't swear. The child knows it is wrong and regardless of the language in any place, an 11 year old knows the F word is not acceptable for him to use. Every time he says it take something away, until he goes a day without saying it. So today he might lose his TV, his ipod, and his computer, tomorrow he may lose something else and then he decides your serious and he doesn't say it the next day, he gets them back the very next morning. This makes the punishment fit the crime. I have heard that soap is poisonous, my son's dad used to threaten that if he ever lied to us that he would make him sit at the table with a fork an knife and eat an entire bar of soap... Thank goodness we have yet to catch him in a lie, he has recently realized that this would obviously harm our son. It hasn't been used as a threat, but our son doesn't know that we know it could harm him so he still thinks this would be his punishment, I'm not changing that idea in his head, has kept him honest for 11 years!

Answer 3

Here is a repeat answer that I gave another person with the same question. 11 is not to old for time outs, you simply need to start making rules and following them!!

First, you should try to find the source of the vocabulary. Then, have a conversation with the child about what words are appropriate where. Soap is a last resort. Biting a bar of soap during a time out seems to be the most effective. Liquid soap is the fast reaction way, but is really gross. Biting the bar gives time to think about the punishment, and it takes a while to get the soap out of the teeth too.

Answer 4

i think 11 years old is a bit old to wash his mouth out with soap I would suggest setting up a swear jar and everytime he swears some of his allowance goes in the jar. He'll soon get sick of having no spending money. If he doesn't get an allowance I would suggest taking away something that he really enjoys like the computer or tv. Positive parenting is always better than being aggressive

Answer 5

it used to be a regular practice many years ago. I would say it is alright to make him take in a mouthful of soap solution and swish it in his mouth for about a minute before spitting it out. Just make sure the soap you use is mild. Johnson's baby soap or shampoo would probably be best. Another way would be to dock his allowance a certain amount for each time he says that word, or any other unaceptable word. Children and teens like their spending money, so that would be hitting where it hurts and maybe they will think twice before opening their mouths the wrong way.

Answer 6

When I was eleven my mom still washed my mouth out with soap.

If I swore my mom would slap me across the mouth, take me into the kitchen and squirt a reasonable amount of liquid soap into my mouth and then hold her hand over my mouth until I swallowed. This was followed with one more slap across the face. I usually wasn't allowed a drink for at least thirty minutes.

Answer 7

May I ask who and where has he picked this up from. Home or his piers at school etc.
It also depends on the friends he hangs out with.
What would happen if you took privileges away from him.
Back in my day this would never happen. No one swore or used any bad language if they did I would certainly wash his mouth out with soap and water. Unfortunatly I have done so but the word was "ST"Nothing like some of the absolute disgraceful words they use today.

I would screenthe so called friends he hangs out with, and eliminate them from the picture.

Answer 8

I am a mom of grown kids. Do not use soap in his mouth.. It will make him angrier and he will rebel even worse. If you can afford to do it, give him $20 and everytime he says it take away $1. Another idea is take away something such as, TV, IPod, Computer, Video game, etc...each time he says it. And stick to your guns. Don't give in. He has to go so many days to get one item back...You and HIM decide. Make him apart of the discipline. Take his phone priviledges away. You get the idea...He is too old to humiliate him with soap,spanking, and so on.

Answer 9

soap in the mouth is nowadays (and rightfully so) considered child abuse. I handled it by telling my daughter that if she wanted to use that kind of language around her friends she could but around adults (especially grandparents/greatgrandparents) she was not to use it. It is sort of a "rite of passage" during puberty. He WILL outgrow it. I know people who used a "quarter jar" that worked effectively, everytime the word was used a quarter was put into a jar...they did this with the entire family. Within a year they had enough money to rent a car on their vacation.

Answer 10

Don't wash anyone's mouth out with soap. Would you want to be done like that? Just ground him, take the tv away from him, things like that but don't put soap in his mouth. I see that as child abuse.

Answer 11

OMG- do NOT do that. I had that happen to me at age 5 and it was the worst ever and one of the first "bricks in the wall" I held against my mother.
Try other forms of punishment. (each time you say that word is one less hour/day/week you can't do something) and then STICK TO IT.
The worst thing about us parents is we threaten and don't carry through. You need to show him you will take away what you say you will and prove you won't give in.
No need for physical pain as long as you are consistent in your other disciplines.