She wants a break?

Question

I've been dating this woman in her late 30's for 3 months.She has a 10 yr old daughter that i get along great with.i'm in my early 40's.Things had been going great (2-3 phone calls from her/day,hanging out at her place 3-4 nights/week). The first night we met i spent the night there,and had sex.I've probably spent the night there a total of 5 times.No intercourse,but oral sex from me,and a "handshake"from her.She said be patient with her,as it had been a long time.I said there wasn't a problem,and i wasn't just out for sex.Things cooled off bigtime after valentines day when i made the mistake of expressing my love for her in a card.The thing is,she sent me 4 animated cards online that basically said that i was her 1&only. One said her search was over,and that we finally found each other.Her cards were sent after i gave her mine. she's been through a very rough marriage, a few bad relationships,but so have i.I know she's had a rough life. she wants a break 2 see if she feels the same

She has a profile on yahoo personals she had told me about (before my time),and i see she's been on there at least 3 times since valentines day.If she's trying to find herself,and see if she feels the same about me as i do for her why is she going on yahoo?

She said from the beginning that i caught her off guard,and she doesn't know what she's going to do with me. I didn't understand this at first,but what i've gathered is that all of her past relationships involved guys using her,and cheating on her.She said that i caught her off guard because i wasn't like them.

Answer 1

You're obviously treating her great, get along great with her kid, and so on. She has to know that she's unlikely to find somebody better than you (or else she's way too stooopid to be worth considering).

But the spark just isn't there for her. Or else she's just scared scared scared.

Either way, you've done the best you can. Give her the break, and even when she gets back in touch take the attitude "Well, when you make up your mind let me know, and I'll see what I want at that point too." Let her woo you back a bit, if she decides she wants to.

For example, no more sex until she's ready for a more equal physical relationship. But don't accuse her of anything, or criticize her. Just calmly tell her that that's your preference going forward, if she brings the subject up.

I.e., be neither a jerk nor a wimp.

Answer 2

I think that maybe she is confused and a little scared. But it also sounds like she is looking for alll possibilities out there. Maybe something has caught her eye. But it sounds like you already have a good thing going with her. So maybe she got freaked a little bit about getting to serious. I guess it depends on how long ago she just got out of her marriage. But you also have to remember that women can get a little moody from time to time also. I would give her space. As for her being on Yahoo, you are too, so whats the diffrence. Doesn't mean shes looking for another. Sounds like maybe you need to talk to her and find out whats going on. Good luck to you and her. I hope for the best. If you need someone to talk about it feel free to email me.....