Is it alright to feel jealous towards my boyfriend's female friends? I know I shouldn't because he says he loves me and everything. But every time he brings a girl up I find myself just fuming. He knows I have a lot of jealousy in me but I never really tell him that I'm jealous of his female friends. It's worse because he's on one side of the country and I'm on the other. We do spend a lot of time online and on the phone talking. But I get so worried and sometimes pretty upset that he and another female friend might be getting "closer" then friends should. I don't talk to him about it because I'm scared it'd freak him out. I do believe in platonic friendships with the opposite sex, I myself have a lot of guy friends but I don't know... Is it wrong for me to feel so jealous and get so upset about it? And what should I do to help contain this green monster?
2007-03-07 13:59:44 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He did mention that he has few female friends because he tends to get too close to them. I was a little shocked when I heard it but then he kept reassuring me that I was his girl and I had nothing to worry about, but I still feel that stupid green eyed monster poking at me. We're adults, he's 23, I'm 19, but I feel a little immature but I can't seem to help it.
2007-03-07 14:07:05 · update #1
I know how you feel, for the most part. There's a guy--not really my bf--more like a "friends with benefits" thing. And he has A LOT of female friends from all over the place that send him pictures or have pictures of him all over their myspace. I don't have a myspace myself, but I can see his general layout and can only imagine what his pictures might contain. And I'm not on there, nor do I know any of his female friends since they don't even go to the same school for the most part. The difference between you and me is that it isn't long distance for us and I don't really have a right to be jealous I guess...
Honestly? I've realized that there's nothing that's going to completely drive away that green-eyed monster, unless you were to meet all his female friends and ascertain for yourself that they're really just platonic. You're just going to have to go on faith with this one, and you can usually tell by how he treats you. You say you talk online and over the phone a lot; how affectionate and involved are your conversations? When he mentions these other girls, is it just a fleeting comment or does he try to bring them in to the conversation? Any one more than others? Maybe he's unconsciously trying to make you jealous because as you say, you have your own circle of male friends that HE has to contend with.
Most importantly, talk to him about it. I know you're afraid it might drive him away, but if you do it peacefully and casually, he won't feel threatened. Tell him you understand that it's normal to have friends of the opposite sex, and that you trust him (do you?) but you just can't help wishing you were able to spend more time with him too. And if he keeps assuring you that there's nothing more between him and them---and the fact that he's avoiding making too many female friends because he KNOWS he tends to gravitate towards them---well...maybe there's no other choice but to take it for what it is.
Deep down, do you have any reason to believe he'd cheat on you? Or that he's not sincere in his assurances? Because jealousy seems like an unavoidable disease people, especially females, just have to live with. In an ideal world, we wouldn't have to deal with such insecurity---justified or not---but we do, and sometimes we can't do anything but put it out of our minds unless there's actually fire to the smoke..
2007-03-07 15:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by Pippa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think that's just typical among teenage girls or just girls in general, because there's always those "Does he think that she's hotter than me?" or "What went on between them?" type of thoughts. Maybe a long distance relationship is really what's making you worry and wonder about his female friends. I'm sure he's being loyal though if you are pretty confident that he is loyal to you. Relax and until you get some concrete evidence, you have nothing to worry about.
Good luck! :-)
2007-03-07 22:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well no try to control ur jealousy there just friends right?
2007-03-07 22:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋