ok...where to begin....my huband of 20 years just recently reconnected with his first 2 children from a previous marriage....a boy 30 and a girl 28....it was tough at first but eventually all was well....so we thought....the son has never been a problem...he is wonderful and we both have a great and loving relationship with him....we thought for a few months that it was the same with his daughter....but we eventually started seeing intense jealousy issues....to the point that we stopped telling her we were seeing her brother or other 2 step siblings....it caused her to get quite and very moody if we visited with anyone else but her....she has to be the center of attention.....she is jealous of me even...she manipulates her dad into feeling sorry for her and puts him on huge guilt trips....he feeds right into her...this has taken a big toll on our marriage and his relationship with the other children..she consumes his time daily..how do i get him to see what its doing to the rest of us?
2007-03-07 13:26:50 · 3 answers · asked by bestest nana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i just wanted to add that i have done everything humanly possible to make this girl feel loved and accepted....i have done for her as i do for my own daughter...but nothing was ever good enough...she lies about everyone....she is always the victim...everyones "does" to her...my husband is just as guilty as she is...he feeds into her and gets so stressed when she gets mad..which is at least 2-3 times per week....he goes overboard with her out of guilt....they talk from sunrise to dark...either on text..email or phone...he has all but abandoned this family...if by chance he does try to be with us..he pays dearly...how do i convince him that one child can not take over the entire family....that she needs help....to stop enabling her.....to make him see what he is doing to the rest of us....is one child worth losing all the others?? i'm not saying to abandon her....but to treat her like all the others are treated...no more no less...and try to get her some help
2007-03-07 13:38:21 · update #1
It sounds like your husbands daughter still holds resentment towards her dad for not being a part of life for the past 28 years. I think you should put yourself in her shoes and try to understand that although she is going to have to accept the fact that her dad wasn't always there, he is now., however give her time. Sit down with her and help her realize that she is very important to her dad. Maybe set aside certain days or certain activities that he can do with only her. Like once a week only him and her go out to dinner. Bottom line is that this is a bed your husband made, now he must lay in it. Good luck!
2007-03-08 02:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by JENNIFER C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will eventually come up to speed on the situation. In the meantime, step back. Find other things to do, care for yourself and do things that you enjoy. Keep the other children busy doing other things. When he's dealt with it alone (with no advice) for a while, he'll realize what is happening.
2007-03-07 22:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HATE TO SAY BUT YOUR HUSBAND IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN FIX THIS SITUATION. Tell him to seat with her and talked to her alone. i think she blames him still and has not forgive him yet and hold him responsible which he is but they have to iron the situation and find neutral ground.
2007-03-07 21:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by Unlucky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋