I am 26 and fell in love for the first time. I have had many relationships but this is the first one that I have just been overwhelemed by. She has always told me that I am the most amazing person that she has ever met. She says that she can see the whole marriage and family thing with me. She says that she has never felt so safe and had so much in common with anyone before. She says she has no complaints about me. Everything has been going perfectly. She even has told me that she never even enjoyed sex until me. So why did she say that she needs space and freedom? Why did she say she is confused and cannot commit to me? How can she say all these things and be willing to let me go? She wants me to be her friend right now. She said she needs to be happy first? How should I act and what should I do.
2007-03-07 13:24:27 · 14 answers · asked by glacier 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everyone will eventually have a time when they can't commit for a while. Maybe she has something going on in her life that she needs to take care of first. As for the space and freedom thing don't worry. Just hold on loosely but don't let go, if you cling to tightly your gonna lose control. Your baby need someone to believe in, and a whole lot of space to breath in.
2007-03-07 13:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by Nathan "Batman" Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I need space and freedom. Let's just be friends. I just need to be happy first!"
This all boils down to, similar to what the book says, "She's just not that into you!" Sometimes it's easy to get carried away, early in a relationship and we view each other through rose colored glasses. Everything is wonderful and we're SO happy!!!
Then, as time passes we learn more about one another and, well, maybe some things that seemed cute at first start to irritate or we see a facet of the others' personality that we hadn't noticed before and are bothered by it. Maybe we just decide that the way this person makes us feel isn't how we'd thought it would be.
Let her go, be friends if you can, but otherwise it's simply time for you to move on down the line, big fella... Hard as it may be to take, She's Just Not That Into You!
Kinda freeing once you've wrapped your mind around that way of thinking! Really it is!
Best of luck to you!
2007-03-07 21:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by clair_dlune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its possible this girl you speak of freaked out. Lots of times when a person gets close to anything of value they run the other way. Maybe she is scared of getting hurt or maybe she feels unprepared to have anything be serious at this point in her life.
If she is telling you she needs to be happy first then there you go. She is telling you she is not right...its not you...its her. Sure, thats a line no one likes to hear but it doesn't mean its an untrue story. The most successful relationships occur when both parties are in the right frame of mind to be doing so.
All this being said...give her space. Its okay to tell her you don't understand whats going on but if she refuses to answer you back off. Let time do its thing.
You're asking if you should have hope and I think you should. Don't wait forever, though.
2007-03-07 21:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by ←Shea→ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea this isnt easy...ive dealt with this before and seen it..only thing id say is first try not to freak out, and be understanding to her needs...u have to believe its not because of anything youve done wrong..and what she 'says' she needs, has to be respected- otherwise theres no future..so when u give her that space, be cool about it and dont even call her or anything unless she tells u too..theres alot of reasons she may need space..usually if she loves you and all, she may be scared of gettin serious..or sometimes they do that to see if its hard with you not in their lives, which usually is the case...so typically if u play it right, shell come back sooner than later, given that her the space wasnt for another guy...but dont worry about the why...if shes worth it like u say, make this sacrifice, shes kind of testing herself...or needs to think about her life or blah blah...girls can be unhappy with themselves sometimes too, its so complicated its ridiculous..
so basically u have no choice if theres a chance for a future...give her what she needs, and keep busy in the mean time..be there for her, but not crowding or smothering...if shes for you, she WILL come back to you...
GL
2007-03-07 21:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by metalheads007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls are complex and act on thier first feeling. if she was happy about you at the time then she will shower you with the good praise but if she has been mad for 1 second she will act on it too... the best thing to do is give it a little ime and wait. what is a couple months in a gamble for a lifetime?
2007-03-07 21:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lone Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL IF SHE'S 26, LIKE YOU, I THINK SHE IS JUST NOT READY TO BE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW. SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO MEET NEW PEOPLE, EXPERIENCE MORE THINGS AND HAVE FUN LIKE PARTYING AND DATING. NOT SAYING SHE DOESN'T HAVE FUN WITH YOU. YOU PROBABLY ARE THE HUSBAND AND FATHER MATERIAL. THAT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF FUN. YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME THING SHES DOING. HAVE FUN, FIND SOME MORE STORIES TO TELL YOUR BOYS. YOU CAN KEEP THE POSITION OPEN FOR HER, BUT IF SOMEONE ELSE STEALS YOUR HEART AGAIN, THAT'S HER LOSS. IF ITS TRUE LOVE SHE WONT BE GONE FOR LONG.
2007-03-07 22:28:48 · answer #6 · answered by musicsmihart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like to me that she doesnt want to hurt your feelings and doesnt want to loose you but at the same time she doesnt want to have a very serioues relationship right now as she might be scared as to what she will be committed to and make shure it is love and a long term relationship that you are after cause once you commit to a long term loven and caren relationship it is so very hard not to say no you always end up saying yes ok babe and honey and angel and all those other words a lady loves to hear so make shure you both are in agreement that you both love each other and care about eachother and want to be together as in a long time relation ship as i thought i was in love too and boom and my lady did what your lady did to you she said she just wants to be friends and i said ok later then see yaAAAAAAAAA and tell her either love me for me as me and for what i am now and forever are forget me and leave me alone and that was that but guess what we was friends for over 18yrs too and she was my best friend and i had no other friends asept her and im a guy and she was a lady too but who knows time will tell as in what will be will be and aint noone can stop that for what god has joined together no man can destroy are tear apart so i hope this helps thanks,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
2007-03-07 21:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by Popeye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have done quite abit I suggest you wait and see...give her sometime to think about herself and the direction both of you are heading. Don't push too much like calling her everyday etc. Give her some time to do her own things and when she is ready, she will call you? Good luck.
2007-03-07 21:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go with her wishes. If you truly love her, then you'll respect her views and give her that space. She needs time to think this over and figure out what she will do. just don't be all overprotective or possessive about it. That'll only drive her away, and then you'll be like me. Cold, Broken, and Alone.
2007-03-07 21:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by mtoutlaw_87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend is moody...
she seems like she says things impulsively...which is good because she's honest, and she's true to her feelings..
but those talks could hurt your feelings sometimes...
I suggest that you be the same person and always be there for her. Knowing that your girlfriend is very moody, if you keep yourself steady in your loving position, she will always come to you.
2007-03-07 21:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by daisyleemie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋