please help me...is this normal?

Question

I’m graduating high school this year. I have had a lot of really bad experiences that I would like to forget. My question is…I’m curious to know if the way I am acting is normal because I’m a bit concerned for myself. I know that might sound strange but…I’ve pretty much cut off communication with a lot of my friends. The only people I really talk to now are my friends that are going to be attending the same college as me. Sadly enough many of them don’t attend the same high school as me. I’ve deleted a lot of friend’s phone numbers because I feel if my friends want to see me they will call me. I don’t know why I am acting the way I am it’s really unintentional but I’m curious to know if this is a normal thing that everyone goes through just cutting off communication with friends and not talking to them...

Some more added details:

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A reason I have cut off ties with my one friend is because I feel she has issues. She comes over to my house eats whatever she pleases without asking and takes whatever she pleases without asking. She has made my family make her separate meals because she doesn’t like what they cooked. She has even urinated in my shower! (no lie) And the main reason is because she gets angry easily. She has kicked me on numerous different occasions and recently punched me in the face because I made a comment towards her that offended her. I really felt a lot of sympathy for her at one time. People treated her badly. But now I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure if the reason I'm not associating with her is because so many people have problems with her OR if it's just because I've realized on my own the issues that she really does have.

Another friend i have recently cut off ties with i feel i did for the right reason. She had two big house parties and refused to invite me. She told me straight to my face she would not invite me because a few of her friends "hated me" and she didn't want them not to show up so she felt it would be better for me and her just to hang out separate then invite me to her party. I'm sorry 2 of her parties. She has done this every year she has one big party since 7th grade and she has been doing this to me every year refusing to invite me because she's afraid of what other people will think of her. She's so nice to me when it's just her and I or her and MY FRIENDS but when she see's me around and she's with other people she totally ignores me

Answer 1

Yeah it is normal. But one thing is that when you ignore your friends you will regret after awhile. It might be ok now but you wait it won't be later in life.

Answer 2

You may be cutting off from your friends because you are just preparing yourself for next year. This may be subconscious. You may be afraid of all the changes that will happen and figure it is inevitable that these friendships will fade away.

After reading your further entries, I think it is a good idea that you are separating yourself from these "friends", especially the first abusive friend.

Perhaps being accepted into college gave you the courage to realize that you don't need to be treated like garbage. In college, you can leave your bad experiences behind. No one knows your history unless you tell them. There isn't that stupid clique system that there is in most high schools. You are who you are and that is it.

That being said, remember that you grew up with these people and they have been through a lot with you. Don't be too quick to sever all ties with everyone. Try to make an effort with your true friends in high school, they could be your friends for life.

Answer 3

I have the same problem. I will be graduating next year, and Like you, some events have occured that I would die to efface. I used to be very close friends with a girl that I liked. She stabbed me in the back, and went with someone else right before I was to ask her out. I have nearly cut off all communications with her entirely, having only spoken to her 3 or 4 times in the past 6 months. I believe that it is normal for you to feel this way. Why not? I feel the same, and I'm sure thousands of others have the same problem.

Answer 4

Just sounds like you are entering the next phase of your life That may or may not include room for old friends because your needs and goals are changing. Going off to college is a HUGE step.

It's sad, but nothing to feel bad about. People will drift in and out of your life as you grow. From my experience, TRUE friends are effortless and you will stay in touch with these for a long time.

My best friend from highschool (class of 89, who-hoo!) and I didn't go to college together and went a few years with little contact at all. We still talk every few months, we see each other maybe once a year...but I still consider her my best friend. She is there for me whenever I need her, and she knows I will drop everything if she needs me.

Answer 5

WOW!!! If these are your friends, I would hate to see your enemies.

There is nothing wrong with you. What you are experiencing is called growing up. While some may be later than others, all of us come to the point where we know what qualities we want in a friend and we tend to stray away from the ones who don't meet those expectations.

You are ok. Better than ok because you are saving yourself a lot of headaches by cutting them loose now.

Answer 6

This can happen when you haven't had a really good school life and you are looking forward to making a new life after school is done.
Good Luck

Answer 7

It's okay. You are trying to align yourself with people who are on the same page as yourself, and that's okay.

Answer 8

it sounds pretty normal 2 me u just hanging