What should I do about my dad?

Question

My dad gets a ton of stress at work and he always takes it out on my family. Just today my mom accidentally hung up his phone call and he just totally flipped out at my mom like screaming and cursing her off. Its a lot worse sometimes though, and sometimes so he gets so insanely mad i end up crying hysterically (which is really rare for me being 15) but whenever i start crying or anything he just gets even more violent and ends up like pulling out my hair or throwing me against a wall or something and i cant take it anymore! I dont know what his problem is but he just always assumes he's right in what he's doing and can do whatever he wants. What can i do to get this to end?

Answer 1

If you rmother has not left the situation, I would talk to her and
convince her to leave. If he has already gotten physical like that, chances are he's doing it to your mom and other siblings.

I would talk to your mom about your concerns and pain, if she refuses to do anything, tell her you will go to Police about this.

This man has anger issues and needs to learn how to appreciate his family more. He needs a therapist and a reality check.

You have alot of courage coming here and asking, that was the first step. Second, confront your mom to do something.

This is unacceptable and I would love to come by and show him what it is like to get thrown around!

Once out of the situation, it would also be a good idea to for you and your mother to see a therapist about this as well.

This crap is NOT your fault and you deserve better.

This is abuse plain and simple.

if you want to tak about it more, shoot any one of us an email, we will do what we can.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 2

This is called abuse, and it's not okay just because he's stressed. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to make it end; you can only try to communicate to him (in some safe way; perhaps a letter that he has time to privately read and digest) how his behavior makes you feel. Screaming and cursing is verbal abuse and is not acceptable; he would tell you the same thing if you screamed and cursed at him or your mom, right? He is physically abusing you every time he pulls your hair, throws you against a wall, or in any other manner uses his power to threaten or injure you. You need to talk with your guidance counselor, a trusted teacher, someone at church if you go, etc. for help. What he is doing is illegal. I am a middle school teacher and grew up in an abusive, neglectful home; one thing I can tell you for sure is that if you tell one person and they minimize what's happening (ex.: oh, everybody loses their temper sometimes, etc.) or don't believe you, you have to find the courage to keep asking until you find someone who truly hears you. Your dad may have a substance abuse issue, depression, etc., none of which are your fault or responsibility. Good luck, dear. I've been there.

Answer 3

Oh boy brilliant brunnete. This is called violence in the family and is iilegal. Most probably u will need proffesional help. Try to avoid to confront him, say ok whetever u say, kinda u mean it and move away. Some people are like this but if i had an adorable daughter like u at this age i would think twice just to let her down not even for a while. I have to daughters on is 4.5 and the other one 1.5 which i love. Sometimes when as a dad dont feel like worthy of u then i get very frustated and act like ur dad. If u get ur dad to accept that then it will be a new chapter for u.

Answer 4

I feel for you sweetie. There is really not a whole lot you can do. He has to want to redirect his anger. It would help if Mom didn't try to trigger him in a passive/agressive way but, being 15 just sucks sometimes. My dad was the same way and if it helps you at all, he apologizes all the time now for being such a jerk when we were kids. He even cried his eyes out, like shaking, sobbing on my wedding day. I know now (that I have kids of my own) that he just wasn't prepared at all for being a parent and the only emotion that he felt was anger. If he was sad, it came out as anger, if he was nervous, anger, if he was concerned, anger. He didn't know how to express himself any other way. It helps to talk to someone. Try your guidance counselor at school. Keep your chin up, things can change in a minute, and try your best to get good grades so you can get outta there and to college. It's only 2 years away. HUGS

Answer 5

It will not end until your mom gets the guts to leave this violent abusive man. Perhaps you can get her to see this perhaps not. I think that the next time he hits or shoves you or your mom you should call the police and have him arrested. Your mom should be taking steps to get away from your dad because there is no excuse for his behavior and he is only going to get worse. Tell your mom not to wait until he kills one of you and get some help right now.

Answer 6

You need to talk to a trusted adult about this ... maybe a teacher or a relative. He's not just flipping -- he's violent! He could really hurt you or even kill you! And don't think he can't control himself either. I'll bet he never acts like this at work, screaming at co-workers and pulling his boss' hair out. Has anyone ever called the police about him?

Answer 7

Wow thats really bad. If your dad is actually an approachable person when he's not in a fit then you should talk to him about it and mabe he'll crack and realize how wrong it is that he is harming you. If you really are willing to do something about this then you should talk to someone else about it. Your dad is commiting child abuse and that is totally wrong. It will be really hard to do but you actually need to get your family away from him. Your mother might not feel capable of doing anything but if he really is that bad you need to do something eventhough he is your father. You shouldn't have to put up with any physical abuse.

Answer 8

You need to talk to a counselor at your school. Don't approach your dad and talk to him about it. Trust me on this one, I know. If you talk to him, he will more than likely be more defensive than sympathetic. Most abusers are only sympathetic just after the attack. Your father needs anger management courses. Start with the counselor at your school. Once you bring this to her attention she will be obligated to report it to a child protective agency who will start an investigation. If the abuse is founded and he has no prior history, they will most likely make him attend an anger management course in lieu of any other punishment. I have a close male in my life that was an abuser and attended an anger management course and he is like a whole new person. Have faith and be strong! You can change your world!

Answer 9

Girl i feel ur pain....

here's a thing to do go to counceling at ur school and tell ur counselor about what's happening. Don't decide to run away because that will make things worse. Just talk to ur dad about it and tell him that it's not right(thats optional).
but seriously u have 2 talk 2 a counselor because u might act a certain way in the future..
oh and u would might want to do it quik because i dont think he isn't only going to beat you...he might do the unthinkable to u if he wants to relax or sumthin....with a young girl..
just stay away from ur father for a while

Answer 10

I think you and your mom needs to sit down and tell him how you feel, and that he shouldn't be taking his anger out on you, or get him some help. you and your mom do not need to be treated like that. or else maybe you and your mom can stay by a relative for a few days so he can wonder what life is going to be with out you two there. and the next time hes like that call the police, I know that its your dad but you and your mom do not need to be abused like that.