discipline children?

Question

my good friend has 3 children, they all seems disrespectful to their parents or older than them. they answer back,always in high volume with their voice. im not used to it, my children are all well behave. i hesitate to talk to my friend about this, she doesnt correct her child everytime her child ldid wrong. but when my friend had enough, she hit her children...but still nothing's change they're all hard headed children. i told my self, if iam the mother of those children, i wont be liked that. my heart breaks every time i see or hear them shouting at each other...the mother is very loving and good.

Answer 1

All parents discipline their children differently. The only way any method of discipline works is if it is done consistently, otherwise the children get confused.

Even though you are soft spoken to your children, you probably are very consistent about what is allowed and not allowed, and what the consequences will be.

Some parents, perhaps like your friend, don't take the time to discipline each time. They don't bother disciplining their children at all until they act really bad, and then they scream at them. The children have no idea what is going on. They don't know what is allowed and what's not.

Unfortunately, almost all people feel they are doing the right thing and they will not listen to anyone else, even someone who is a good friend. You could possibly discuss an article or book you read, telling her that you found it very helpful yourself and you thought she would like it. Chances are, if tell her you think she is wrong or doing something wrong she will immediately become defensive and not hear anything else you have to say.

Ultimately, it is her decision on how she chooses to raise her children, and she may someday see how differently her children turn out than yours.

Answer 2

Discipline is not abt punishment. It includes routine, differentiating between right and wrong, rewarding for good behaviour, clear and firm directions and explaining consequences.

Most parents take the band-aid version and hit the child when they can't take it anymore. They don't do it for the sake of educating the child, it's like venting their frustration. Children lost respect for parent who vent their anger on them. Mainly because they are not informed on how to behave. It is also a little hypocrite to punish a child for shouting by shouting back. You get what I mean?

What your friend is doing right now is fire-fighting. Discipline is a long term process. Children need directions and role models. Parents need to be more aware of themselves in the presence of their children and act in ways they want their child to act. A child observes the world more meticulously than adults. They get confused with double standards i.e. saying "Stop shouting" when the parents shout at each other all the time.

Your friend sounds like she needs help even though she might not say so. If it bothers you enough, talk to her. If it doesn't, stay away from opportunities where you need to hang around with her and her kids.

Answer 3

I think whoever said "a whack on the head is fine" is totally wrong. I do believe that a swat on the bottom is sometimes needed. It sounds like your friends discipline is not consistent enough to be effective. Maybe you could make suggestions on things that have helped you. I wouldn't go into it acting like your kids are all so well behaved because she may feel like you are thinking you are a better parent than her and not listen to anything you say. Good luck... you sound like a good friend. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you.

Answer 4

it rather is purely as substantial to advantages you toddler for good habit as this is to discipline them for undesirable. the way you do the two will replace because of the fact the youngster an prolonged time. toddlers don't get discipline. They cry and it will hassle you and that's purely tuff on condition that's what you signed up for. whilst they start up doing issues like pulling your hair or grabbing your jewelery it rather is to not be undesirable, it rather is purely interest. whilst a toddler is two-3ish this is substantial to be sure who's in charge because of the fact some babies will attempt you to work out purely how lots they are in a position to wreck out with. First you will desire to in no way purely bypass spank a toddler whilst they do something incorrect. they ought to be stated NO first and it might paintings nicely to offer them something else to do. An *** beating that will boost welts and leaves hand prints is in no way suitable or called for yet whilst a toddler has been warned to not do something and that they defiantly do it besides they choose a swat or 2 on the butt. in case you call them and that they run far off from you, comparable element. Then whilst the crying stops you gently sit down with the youngster and tell them why they are in a position to't try this. clarify why something would be risky. in case you spanked your toddler then you greater useful have a solid clarification for it. Even toddlers can understand greater suitable than maximum folk think of. Giving solutions like "because of the fact I suggested so" would not clarify something. asserting "given so you might get harm" or "you will wreck something" will make greater experience to them and supply them suited regulations. you pick your toddler to be waiting to come returned to a kind suited and incorrect on their own so provide them the understanding to try this. I even have 2 person babies. each and every of them became into spanked a finished of two times. They necessary it. After that each and every person I had to do is ask them in the event that they necessary yet another. on condition that we already primary that I wasn't bluffing, they in many circumstances did not push the situation. I in no way had to do it returned.

Answer 5

I have been on both ends...both the startled parent seeing how my friend's kids talk to her and the parent that is embarassed by her kids behavior and can see the judgement in others eyes. I am rather strict and insist on respect - I used to say something to her KIDS, not to her......"Don't talk to your mother like that!". Well, she was thankful and they sort of hated me until they grew up to realize they were acting like heathens. I am now a single mother of 4 and sometimes I just get tired and let them get away with murder...that same friend is here to tell my kids "Don't talk to your mother like that!' :-)

Answer 6

i could go on and on, but because you do not want to talk to her about this, give her the gift of a solid Chistian's viewpoint on child rearing, from any Christian book store, trust me on this, ask her to read it in its entirety. I was clueless until I became a Christian, and saw how the moms could have other moms over for lunch, in peace. Educated women, cool and fun women, but devoted to God's way of teaching with consistent love and discipline when needed. I saw big boys, robust and full of energy, stand before their mothers when called, and obediently obeying, without attitude, before they went back to their rough and tumble way of playing. Sweet little girls, who do not sass back to their moms, and even enjoy baking yet are sharp as a tack when it comes to school work. I saw little toddlers humbly cry after they were spanked with love, then sit on mama's lap and smile, knowing she cares enough to keep him on the right track. For years i applied what i learned to rearing my own child, and today he is not only my pride but my JOY. Your friend can't cram 10 yrs. into 3 weeks, but she can learn now that she is in control, [and hopefully there is a dad]. God gave them full authority to discipline. She may decide to home school them, to keep them away from bad influences. All of these grown happy children i have known throughout these many years have gone on to college, become successful and well adjusted members of society, no drugs, no police, no divorces. God cares what she does as a mother.

Answer 7

First- timeouts work well - very well.
Second It's gonna be tough for them for a couple reasons.they are going to think hitting is ok. they are going to think louder is better, and have no respect for authority...oh man they will have some lessons to learn later in life.

It DOES NOT have to be that way--- Outward signs of the familiy are a DIRECT REFLECTION of life inside the house.

Answer 8

I think that you have to talk to your friend. Maybe take her to a few parenting classes or get her parenting books.

Answer 9

the only good effective discipline is by force, sometimes, it does take a whack on the head, or a smack on the butt to get it through their heads that it is not ok. hope i helped.

Answer 10

did you ever hear the old saying, mind your own business.
these are her children and she will parent them as she sees fit. if you are uncomfortable there, don't go there.