I'm depressed and no one cares for me..how do I become happy and loved?

Question

I need help I don't know if I can stand being here until I am 18?
I used to have dreams okay? I wanted to go to Tokyo International University and all..look, I even tried to apply to become a foreign exchange student so I could check out Japan first. I've had chances to go to like these college open houses. I haven't been able to take those chances. I'm almost 16 I feel like crap. I have psychological problems I guess also because I have been issued 2 social workers at once before and I am currently in an Angermanagement thing I just can't stand my life. I'm not like a sucidial person I don't think but it's just hard for me to be happy. I don't smoke or anything, I try to be good. But no one appreciates me when I'm good. When I try to stop being a bad person people step all over me. Even my parents and so-called family. I've been depressed for so long. My social workers.. I love them they're kind but honestly they don't help me. When I was sexually assaulted my mom was upset because

because my social worker told the cops [really]. How do i get out?
My dad called me stupid for telling the social worker. I just..don't have much will to live anymore. I'm never truly happy. No one cares for me. I'm like an orphan. I've been like that all my life. When I was little my dad would leave me to go to the bar. My mom doesn't even let me talk on the phone with my friends. I can't go to the mall at night..I don't know..I'm like crying right now..I have anger problems I used to be violent and crap and my dad walks in his briefs and I have flash backs of the time I almost got raped. He calls me a stupid b-word. One time, I ran away. Only to go to church though. They don't let me go to a certain church that made me happy one time. I almost got shot out of my love for some guy that doesn't care for me. No one cares for me. My best friends at school most of them use me or backstab me. My parents treat me like crap everyday. they kick me out but then call the cops if i run awa

Answer 1

It's not that no one loves you, they do. You just feel like no one loves you. It's a mental trick caused by satanic forces...

Answer 2

For me, when I am depressed (I'm bipolar, my depressions are very bad) I think everyone hates me or is using me or talking behind my back, even though it isn't true. When my mood improves, i no longer think that. It took me until recently (I'm 42) to realize that my depression was totally changing how I view the world and others in my life. There is a lot going on in your life, and obviously nobody can address all of it, but my piece of advice is to give others the benefit of the doubt. It could be that when you are depressed, NOBODY could ever do anything to show you that you are loved, because you cannot receive love when you are like this. So even if you would swear up and down that nobody cares about you, step back from your life a bit and see if that is really true. You may be so convinced that everyone hates you that you are holding everybody away at arms length so they can't hurt you. Also, if you are prone to angry outbursts, people do get upset and defensive, and are slow to forget that you hurt their feelings. Some people take longer to forgive than others. An angry person can really hurt someone else's feelings. So consider that, too, that people dont' want to be around you until you can learn to apologize better and get your temper under control.

And I'm sure people DO appreciate you when you're "good." Most people are not very good at giving people a pat on the back when they do well, and so you go unnoticed when you are doing the right things. You might have to fish a little for the compliments, like "hey mom, i've been trying really hard to keep my room clean lately. I really need to hear that you have noticed?"

Best of luck, remember that other members of your family have problems too, and they have their crappy days too. As you get older and keep working with counselors and all that, you should be able to get a handle on things. it's hard when you're a kid and don't know yourself yet.

Answer 3

Oh my girl...
Your feelings and behavior are normal for a person who has been sexually assaulted. I hope you can find help before you are much older. I have been through things also when I was your age and I know it causes you to have a hard time. If you can, stick with your social workers, that extra support will mean alot to you when you get older. You were not wrong to tell but I realize that some cultures have stronger feelings about telling.
Also you are at the age when things can be crazy anyway. It will get better I promise. You are ok just the way you are, try and appreciate yourself if no one else will. I guess the hardest thing of all is to say that you and only you can make changes for yourself. All the kind social workers and letters from total strangers cannot fix things, but at least you know you are not alone in the world and have some support and encouragement.
And crying is not a bad thing...it is good for you even if it feels bad, it is a part of healing. Always allow your tears and let them cleanse your grief for the hurt that was caused you. But seek support and you don't have to do it alone.

Answer 4

Oh gosh, depression can be so painful! And it sounds like you have some problems in your life too. OK, for the depression- look it up, find out about it. You have to fight it like it was the enemy! When you are thinking "Its always been this way, no one cares about me"- that is the depression talking. So, try to find a counselor to talk to. If you cannot get medication there is a vitamin called Sam-e ( S-adenosylmethionine) that they sell in the vitamin isle, that will help your depression I know it works, it works for me. Unlike psychiatric anti-depressants, it starts to work right away. Also, you need to work out really hard. It will help with your anger. Maybe take some aikido, it helps with the assault business by centering your self. Also, people will not walk all over you, you will be calmer and more confident. Time heals, you have to take care of business, don't act out and make things worse. I am sorry you are having a hard time right now. Crying is OK, it is healing. You should pray, and tell god you are hurting and tell him what you want for your life or just ask him to guide and protect you.
You are young, don't be fooled and think it will always be this way. Fight your depression and chase your dreams. As for love- it is perennial as the grass. But you must heal. It is hard to love someone who is deeply hurting. When the pain subsides try to be a loving and positive person and the love will find a way back to you.
Best wishes and peace from a stranger in Southern California.

Answer 5

I think you should express your desires to leave your parent's house with your social workers. It sounds like your familial environment is bringing you down. You have social workers that help rise you up, and then your family and friends bring you down. It sounds like you're on an emotional roller coaster. In my mind, you need to get out of your environmnent. Are any of those opportunities you mentioned still possible?? If so, JUMP ON THEM!! It sounds like you NEED to get away from your negative environment, and need to enter a positive one. I think if you do this, things will look up. And, no I'm not suggesting to run away--that's not an example of how to become involved in a positive social environment.Talk to your social worker about how you can leave. Maybe a private school, maybe you can still be an exchange student, maybe the abuse you are suffering and have suffered will qualify you to be moved into a foster home, preferably in a new city. For now, can you get involved in a sporting event (which is not affiliated with your school and current friends) or something that will offer you new, positive experiences?? I'm sooooo sorry you are suffering. So much to go through, so young :-(.

Answer 6

I feel the same way. But sometimes, in one moment, you catch a glimpse of happiness/love and it changes your whole word around believe me, I know. it's a simply feeling that is just incredible. It lifts you off your feet. Just a second ago I was really depressed and I thought about my grandmother and that future special someone. You just need patience and some hope can grow into something big. Into something beautiful. If that feeling goes away because you are very depressed, then see a psychologist, or med as a last resort, though I don't recommend them.

Answer 7

Wow. The best thing I can tell you is to try to meet a friend. Join a team or somthing. Go somewhere that makes you happy and gives you pure bilss. Does the social worker know how your parents treat you?

Answer 8

Sexual assault can mess up a persons mind for life sometimes. A woman in my immediate family was assaulted and i have seen the havoc that resulted.it's not pretty BUT a good psychologist pulled her through(God bless him!) Perhaps you could benefit by psychiatric median.It's nothing to be ashamed of far more people have it, or have had it than you would ever realize.good luck and Gods blessings

Answer 9

it sounds like the people you love and care about have let you down, go see you doctor if you dont want medication then maybe just talking to your doctor or being referred to a councillor would help. I bet you get loads of answers to your question and that proves that people care. dont blame yourself for the bad things people have done to you, its not you thats the bad or weak person its them. stick at it and sooner than you think you will have beaten them and made a fantastic new life for yourself, you have the guts to do it, you have already taken the first step. x

Answer 10

Hey you can think i am crazy and everything but, forget about those things, people could not love you well show them that you love, them people kick you show them you love, them , jusus excist he was never in deprssed cause of all judish want him to be killed(without ofending judish) just wake your self up. Tell god you want to be part of the world, and help make it better. Deppression dos not excist if you do not want to. Cause people say i got is not true i am happy cause god excist and is god

Answer 11

and if it reduces the surplus population then they should go there.
_Ebenezer Scrooge



If you are going to let an asshole like that ruin your life, then you aren't the girl I thought you were.

Legally Blonde


Stop looking for excuses to crap out and look to yourself to be strong. You are in there, girl, we have all been there.

I had the barrel of a shotgon in my mouth before common sense and the realization that no lamo asshole could be responsible for my life but ME.