I have been married for five years and have a child from a previous
marriage. My son's birthday has never been celebrated by my husband's family though my in-laws have always sent him a card small present. My husband's brother has never acknowledged our son's birthday. My brother-in-law now has twins and we gave them a mountain of presents last year when the children were born but still they ignored our son's birthday. My brother-in-law's children celebrated their 1st birthday and we again gave presents, a card and rang them to say happy birthday.They have again ignored our son's birthday this year - no card, no call, nothing. Do we continue to send presents to their children or accept
that they're just not interested?
2007-03-07 12:27:44 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to except that they just aren't people who remember other peoples special days. Some people don't realize that your supposed to send gifts, or at least call on special days when someone has remembered theirs. I have relatives like yours too, I finally just stopped giving to them, since they never remembered my children. They never seemed to even notice that I stopped. It didn't seem to be anything personal to them. They just didn't know I guess, so don't take it as they have something against you, or your child, just bad manners on their part probably.
2007-03-07 12:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sherrie L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they otherwise treat your son well or do they ignore him at family get-togethers? If they ignore him there too, have your husband speak to them about how rude and hurtful their behaviour is. If they otherwise treat him well, maybe they don't know when his birthday is or maybe they aren't sure how to treat it, considering he's your son from a previous marriage. If that's the case, I'd try giving him a little family party on his birthday, inviting your husband's family too. Also, when you send presents to the other kids, let your son include a special hand-made card or tell the parents that your son helped choose the gifts.
2007-03-07 20:35:43 · answer #2 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to be up front with them and tell them that it really hurts your feelings that they ignore your son. Your husband should really be the one to do this. Does he treat your son as his own? If so then he should be outraged that they act this way. Remember that maybe they have just never given this consideration and aren't doing it as a slight (although how that could be after five year, I can't fathom). At least if you confront them you won't keep wondering. The only thing is that if you stop sending presents to their children you only hurt them. Children look forward to getting gifts from every family member.
2007-03-07 20:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by ingramrr5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be a lot of reasons they don't send gifts ranging from not feeling like your son is part of their family to just not being gifty people. If it bothers you so much you need to address the lack of gifts with them.
Whether you continue to send gifts is a totally different issue. If you're sending them because you feel it's expected but no one else in the family seems to by all means feel free to stop. If you're sending them in to "buy" favor, stop. If you're sending them in the hopes that the gifts will cause them to recognize your son, stop. But if you're sending them because you like the kids and enjoy making them happy feel free to keep it up with no concern for the parents that are boorish.
2007-03-08 11:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not continue with the gift giving. Rather, send a card with a few dollars perhaps. If it's really bothering you, I would confront them. It worked for me. My older daughter is to a previous relationship and when my husband and I had our daughter I was concerned there would be differences in how they were treated. I talked to my mother-in-law and asked how she felt. She responded with respect and love and they treat my daughter from the previous relationship exactly the same as our daughter together. In their eyes there is absolutely no difference.
2007-03-07 21:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy of 2 Girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would cut back on what I buy and if still no gifts for my son I would stop before the kids are old enough to look for gifts.
2007-03-07 20:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by dpascoe8692 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time just send a card, save the money you would have spent on gift and give it to your son
2007-03-07 20:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋