I need help I don't know if I can stand being here until I am 18?

Question

I used to have dreams okay? I wanted to go to Tokyo International University and all..look, I even tried to apply to become a foreign exchange student so I could check out Japan first. I've had chances to go to like these college open houses. I haven't been able to take those chances. I'm almost 16 I feel like crap. I have psychological problems I guess also because I have been issued 2 social workers at once before and I am currently in an Angermanagement thing I just can't stand my life. I'm not like a sucidial person I don't think but it's just hard for me to be happy. I don't smoke or anything, I try to be good. But no one appreciates me when I'm good. When I try to stop being a bad person people step all over me. Even my parents and so-called family. I've been depressed for so long. My social workers.. I love them they're kind but honestly they don't help me. When I was sexually assaulted my mom was upset because my social worker told the cops [really]. How do i get out?

My dad called me stupid for telling the social worker. I just..don't have much will to live anymore. I'm never truly happy. No one cares for me. I'm like an orphan. I've been like that all my life. When I was little my dad would leave me to go to the bar. My mom doesn't even let me talk on the phone with my friends. I can't go to the mall at night..I don't know..I'm like crying right now..I have anger problems..I used to be violent and crap and my dad walks in his briefs and I have flash backs of the time I almost got raped. He calls me a stupid b-word. One time, I ran away. Only to go to church though. They don't let me go to a certain church that made me happy one time. I almost got shot out of my love for some guy that doesn't care for me. No one cares for me. My best friends at school..most of them use me or backstab me. My parents treat me like crap everyday. Dad has kicked me out before but if mom hears I on my own try to live at a friends my mom calls the cops??

Answer 1

I glad you like your Social Workers. You may not think they are of no benefit to you but they are . You need to write this out on paper and show it to your workers, maybe it's time you were placed elsewhere to live.
Your workers care deeply for you and want to help, open up to them, do not be afraid, you can trust them.
People do care look but you have to let them in and receive the help you so much need and deserve. I wish you all the best in life and know things will improve.

Answer 2

As you're describing it, you've been living in an abusive home. I would disclose EVERYTHING to one of the social workers, no matter who you think might get hurt in the process . You just need to be totally truthful. You do NOT deserve to be treated like crap.

Answer 3

Have you told your social worker about this? S/he might be able to get you out of there. You need to find someone to talk to about this, and if things don't improve you need to get out of there. Try contacting a local women's shelter, they should have someone you can talk to.

Answer 4

Managing Stress

Swami Sukhabodhananda
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One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Answer 5

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