How do I end this hopeless feeling confusion inside?

Question

I don't know what to do with my life now!

I was cheated on by a girl, lied to after 4 years of dating, wanted to be married to her, till I found out about the lies.

Now that I am single again, I have had so many confusing thoughts, like:

I want to have a girlfriend, but what if she cheats on me like the other one did.

I don't want a girlfriend, I just want to be free!

Where would I find a girlfriend who is kind, sweet, loving, honest?

If I did have a girlfriend, what kind should I get? Do I want blond, brunette, red, or white, black, mexican, asian?

I have so much trouble sometimes, & I don't know what I want for sure sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if I am with someone, will I wonder if they are really my soul-mate, or will I be happy?

Why do I feel all these confusing emotions? It's driving me crazy! I feel helpless to just be single sometimes, so I guess I do need a woman.

But sometimes I am afraid, I don't know who I want?

Is this normal?

What do I do?

Answer 1

Everything you named is normal. It's just what happens after a break-up. I had it after I broke up with my boy-friend. But then again, I'm a girl.
Anyway, I just want to say most girls aren't like that, cheating and all. If you just broke up, then I suggest that you really wait a long, long time until another relationship. You will get over this, just like you might get over a bad grade on test. Not as drastic, but same concept.
The decision to get another girlfriend or not is hard. But truly ask yourself why you would want a girlfriend and why not. Write it down. It worked for me.
Don't worry about race, hair color or anything like that because it doesn't matter if you date her.
If you really need a woman, go for it. Nobody's stopping you, nobody's saying "DON'T DO THAT!" Just do it if you want to.

GOOD LUCK!! :)

Answer 2

I believe this is extremely normal. I was in a relationship with a guy I was engaged to for 8 and 1/2 years. For a long time after I just wanted to be alone and enjoy my friends and myself. I've dated here and there but haven't found anyone to connect with yet. Sometimes I feel hopeless like will I ever find the one for me? Then sometimes I don't know if I want to be with anyone again and then sometimes I get so lonely. I believe after you've been in a bad relationship you're very leery of the next. And you should be. You don't want to go down memory lane for anything. Yet you want to find love again. I guess the best thing to do is to just believe that when the time is right you'll find love again but this time better. Because you'll go into it more wisely and won't put up with the junk you did before. I wish you the best, this might make you feel better there's a lot of us in the same boat as you!!! Good luck and God bless you!!!! I hope you find love again only better this time around and this time forever!!!

Answer 3

Don't dwell on it! When you stop looking so hard, you will find her! As long as you love her, it doesn't matter, race, hair or eye color or anything.

When you look hard for someone to be with, you usually end up with someone you settle for , whether you think that at the moment or not. When you stop looking, out of nowhere, you will find someone who could very well be your soul mate and the one you will marry. Maybe you broke up for a reason, maybe that person is not the one for you. Maybe you just saved yourself needless heartache down the road by being broke up now. Cheer up friend, your young!

Answer 4

Its totally normal to be confused after a long term relationship failed. If I were you i would ask your friends if they know anyone who would be good for you, or just be happy being single for awhile. The right person will find you when you least expect it.