Do you smack your child?

Question

I was always bought up to respect my parents. If we were naughty we got a smack. This being with what ever was handy, weather it was a hand, belt,strap,jug cord etc. It was never excessive force, just a little sting to put us back in line. Why is it today that it is such a big no no. My ten year old daughter threatned to go her school teacher when i gave her a little smack for using bad language. Do parents not smack their children any more. It never did us any harm as kids and helped us learn to give respect.

I have read some of your comments and please let me explain. When I say smack I DO NOT mean in the face. It seems to me that " smack" was the wrong word to use. But here in New zealand that is the term we use. I guess you can also call it spanking. I am not abusing my child, I can count the times I have smacked her on my one hand and it has always been as a last resort. I am very surprised by the response I got from asking this question. In this country a smack is exceptable as long as it is only with a hand. If you leave a mark or bruise ther are consequences.

Answer 1

Well I did......and I had an interesting experience with it. It was all my fault. I decided to take my 2 year old and my 1 year old to mcdonalds, when I was 8 months pregnant, and let them play in the play room. When it was time to go my 2 year old trew a fit. She was as strong as an ox and I could not get her to stop squirming so I could get her shoes on. There were about 5 other parents watching this and no one offered to help. So I had to choice but to give her a smack on the rear. Well all those parents watching me struggle glared at me like I was a mass murder. It was horrible and frustrating and made me realise that we parents have to make our own choices. I wish they could see me now. I have 3 teenage girls that treat me with respect and love. I wonder what precentage of parents can say that. My rules were always not to hit out of anger and to use it as last resort. It worked for me and the rest of the world needs to lighten up and realise that the soft approach to rasing children is why our juvenile courts are full and our teachers have no control over their students.

To those of you that say spanking predicts violence as the child grows up. Im not sure where the studies are done, but I was not spanked as a child I was brutilized and Im not violent. My children rarely got a spanking, maybe 2 or 3 times a year. For things like pushing their little sister down the stairs. I havent had the need to spank for many years now. They hear "I love you" and "Im so proud of you" several times a day. That is what the majority of parents who spank are like.Dont lump us all in together.Dont tell me that the 8 spankings theyve had in thier lives has ruined them and that the praise and love they get isnt what they will remember. Ive talked to the girls about this and they say that they understood why they were spanked and dont feel that I was a poor mother for it. They are the best kids I know, and thats because I am a good mom.

Answer 2

When you say smack, I read that as you smacking her in her face??? That is degrading and you shouldn't do it! You can swat her on her bottom, but not in the face. I use spanking as a last resort, and as a result of this I hardly ever have to spank. There are many more effective ways to keep your child in line. You can use time out, you can take away priveleges, you can talk to your child and explain to her why she is not to use foul language. Most of all, let your child know that you LOVE her unconditionally! You smack her because you were taught to smack. Child abuse is wrong and you should do everything in your power to stop this vicious cycle. I recommend the book, the Incredible Years which has many techniques you can use to get your child to behave.

Answer 3

Research in the field of human development has found that spanking a child doesn't increase the self-control level of the child, rather it is a direct predictor of future agressive behavior in the child.

Additionally, when you look from a social learning theory perspective you find that a child may model the spanking from a high-power person (the parent) to a 'subordinate' (the child), internalize this model, and it may be replicated in instances such as spanking younger siblings who have done something inappropriate.

As adults most people say that spanking did not cause them any harm, that they turned out alright, which is often likely. However, spanking has not been proven effective in stopping the undesired behavior, it is only a 'quick fix' and is typically used when parents are frusterated. Removing the child from the situation and discussing what they did wrong and why they should not do it again tends to be more effective.

Answer 4

i don't have any kids yet but yes I would, i do support spanking but only if its done as a last resort for punishment and for the right reasons, I don't support spankings for bad grades, only just for bad behaviour and you shouldn't spank to leave marks, that is abuse, just 2-3 swats so they'll learn not to do it.

Spankings don't raise a choild to be violent or raise the crime rate, i think people who say that are talking bull$4!t. look at the 1950's when corproal punishment was allowed look at how nice the children were at that time, respectiful and stuff, look how low the crime rate was too and look at it now, children can cuss their own parents, beat the teacher and get away with it.

Kids today have waaaaaay to m much freedom and neds restrictions.

I also beeive that releigus (sp?) education should be put back, if your a christian you study the bible, jew the torah, Muslim the Qu'ran (sp?) hindu the Gita etc.

Parents should be parents and NOT psychologists.

Answer 5

I don't spank, at all. My boys learn respect because I show them respect and teach them how to respect me. Spanking is not really a part of parenting anymore. I don't use time outs except as a break to get control of emotions, I teach them the why when they make a mistake. Why isn't it okay to swear? Because you don't like it, because it is disrespectful, because there are millions of words in the english language and speaking just seven is quite stupid? Find the why and teach the lesson, your smack didn't address why. Your job is to teach your daughter to be a good woman, not a good child. She needs to learn self-discipline not discipline from you. There are a lot of ways to teach, she is at an age that it wouldn't be out of the question to ask her to write you an essay about why its wrong, and spelling counts, that lesson will last a lot longer than the sting of your hand.

Answer 6

infants regrettably do no longer contain a consumer handbook. I also have a properly balanced, chuffed and effective son of 27 (merely new child) and the only suggestion I ever took replaced into that young ones want a shape wherein they could stay. they must be attentive to the restrictions they shouldn't go and that they ought to understand that with freedom comes accountability, even from an quite youthful age. with a bit of luck you will in no way ought to punish your new child however the aptitude for punishment must be genuine, present and understood and maximum critically, must be carried out if needed. So in many circumstances I pay attention mom and dad threatening their new child with some impossible punshment. infants are not stupid and quickly get used to those empty threats. in case you will threaten your new child with a punishment be sure you are able to and are arranged to hold it out. Smacking consistently should be the final motel and by ability of then you definately've in all risk lost the argument besides. Withdrawal of privilege (e.g. grounding) is often plenty greater smart. the real shy away with smacking is that it teaches our young ones that violence, in spite of if "innocuous" is suitable. for this reason it has for use with discretion and prevented anyplace available. I agree that throughout the time of pampering our young ones, we are becoming a technology which isn't able to take dangers. we've created this society ourselves (how in many circumstances have we heard thoughts like mom and dad suing by way of fact their new child replaced into harm and there replaced into no "take-heed call" asserting "in case you climb this tree you will be able to fall and get harm"). infants ought to take dangers and understand the ends up of their movements. sure, falling out of a tree hurts yet a minimum of they are going to be attentive to that, next time they attempt. yet with a bit of luck, they are going to attempt! God save us from this nanny state.....

Answer 7

i think that smacking your child will keep them in line and they wouldn't be bad and when i was a child i didn't like when my mom smacked me but i got good after she did and i said to my self i will not smack my child when i get older but now i would b/c these kids are bad these days. With your child kids would do that tell other people and it's not like you are hurting them you are just being a parent but i would just sit my child down and tell her or he why i hit them but i hope this helped you out

Answer 8

I do not have children but if I did I certainly would not hit and or spank them. I think if you use pain to teach a child a lesson it just scares them out of doing something wrong, it does not actually let them know that what they did was wrong. I hope no one SMACKS their child.

Answer 9

2007 Law passed says you can not smack children anymore. Your child might know their rights in CA. Chasting a child you should get the belt or paddle do not hit the child with your hands. Take the child to NV and smack the child. Raising your children in the fear of God works. "Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise." Ephesians 5:21-6-4. Start praying with your children. The Most High will deal with them and they will remember what God said about it. Fear

Answer 10

Yes, I do--on the behind. My son likes to push and test people. So sometimes I have to give him a swat on the rear end.

One thing you should do--find out what the law is in your state. Here in Ohio spanking is not a crime at all--in fact you're expected to keep your child in line. Find it on a web site, and print it out.