I'm confused about my ex, she wants to be friends, why?

Question

I'm 25, ny ex and I broke up 6 months ago, b/c she said she was sick of all the lies. These were lil lies. No cheating. So she cut me off completely. She gets with a new man but it didn't work out. 2 months after the break we start talking again, we become friends with benefits. We have done things like couples. We were seeing each other almost everyday. If I'm not spending time at her place she calls me late at night to talk before she goes to sleep. I'm really confused. She says she doesn't want to get back together with me, but she loves my company and she loves me. She still talks to the other guy with whom it didn't work out with. It really pisses me off, but I can't say anything I'm not with her. So I tell her I can't be her friend and we can't be in contact. Because I am only hurting myself. She gets pissed at me because she doesn't understand why. She says she will have no one to confide in and no one who knows her as well is I do.Why is she trying to keep me close?

Answer 1

Without knowing her personally, it is hard to say. What you describe, however, seems to be a relationship (at least on her end) based upon security.

You are her security blanket. She needs you, she has an attachment to you and she wants to drag you around and use you whenever she has the personal need to do so.

Either work things out with her or at least start looking at other options. Her behavior might change if you started dating other women. Remember, it was her insecurity (jealousy) that cause you to part.

Answer 2

You seem to ask, and you seem to answer. I think you've figured it out, but want someone else to confirm your judgment.

She is just using you as a crutch. You're easy, just a phone call away. She wants something else, not you. Until she can find it (midst her insecurity) she sees great value in her crutch.

If you have no plans for your life, then be her crutch. But if you want to move on to a real relationship, you have to leave her be.

Is this confimation enough?