I hate mine. Why are so many mother's of boys so psychotic when their sons get married? Most women hate their mother-in-laws! Why? Why is it different for men? I think most men get along with their in-laws. Ideas?
2007-03-07 11:54:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hate her? She's the Anti-Christ and my hubby agrees...we're just waiting for her to die but you know what they say "only the good die young". As for my mom, we get along with her, she drives us crazy of course but who's mom doesn't know how to push your buttons.
2007-03-07 12:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Cher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We both love our in-laws. His mother is like my 2nd mother and vice versa.
think it's not a "wive's tale" so to speak, but I can't figure out the phrase I'm looking to describe it better. In other words, it's a generalization that women hate their MIL's.
As for the men getting along with their MIL's, there are so many of the same generalizations out there about men disliking their mother in laws or hating when the wife's mother is coming over, etc. etc.
Personally, I think it's MOSTLY generalization with there being some cases that actually support it.
2007-03-07 20:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 2 Girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they go psychotic.... lol... they just want to make sure you're taking care of her boy. That's the way mine was.. I quickly found out the secret. and for the next 27 years we were the best of friends. when she passed away I was the one taking of her, not her sons or the other daughters in law. And it broke my heart to lose her.
The bottom line with most MIL.....they want you to need them,, until you've passed muster... lol and that doesn't take long, trust me.
Pick something that she is really good at.. for mine it was gravy with meals (fabulous cook).. I called her.."Mom, is there any way that I could stop by on my way home from work this evening.. I'm making........... and I'd like to make gravy with it and I can't ever get the lumps out of.. can I steal your secret recipe?"
OMG I told her I would stop and pick up what we needed.. just give me a list.... no,no,no, she would take care of it.. she went nutz... lol. her secret.... she used a big wire strainer...LOL
But she loved that I needed her for something. when we had the kids.. she would come by.. I asked her.. do you think I should bring an extra hoody for the baby??
It didn't hurt anything.. she was happy... there was peace.. and with-in a year I was the FAV.... lol
She was really a wonderful woman, she just wanted to share, and she thought I was an idiot....................
But in the end we were great friends. it's been 2 years and I still reach for the phone to call her.
Good Luck.
2007-03-07 20:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have stories about mine that can probably top yours. The thing is is you have to try to tolerate her for your husband's sake. It is SO hard for them to be in the middle. So, I try to have minimal contact with her and if we do have contact I keep it short and unemotional. I talk about simple things like my dogs, the weather, nothing that involves feelings.
I don't know why they get SO jealous. It blows my mind. You know what else I find weird. Her and I got along GREAT until we got engaged. I thought I was going to have the perfect mother-in-law, boy was I wrong. To make our situation worse she was a stay-at-home mom and all 3 of her kids got married within 18 months so she feels SO lost. I try to suggest she get a hobby or something so she feels important. I also try to remind her that I will never nor do I ever want to be my husband's mom! She will ALWAYS be his mom and I can never take that from her. I also tell her I'm not here to steal her son but share him and she should feel blessed to have an ever growing family. The thing you have to remember is that no matter what you say you cannot change her mind. I wish you the best of luck. Try for your husband's sake!! I feel for you!!!
2007-03-07 20:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea, but I know what you are saying. My husband is an only child and his mom's sibilings never had any children, so he was it. When I married him he was 21 and I was 20 and he had just joined the Army. His mom gave me all kinds of subtle hell about him joining the service, implying that it was my fault he joined. She even has walked in on us having sex after we were married and told us that we should have locked the door to OUR room so she didn't have to walk in! She's gotten better since, but she still has her moments, more often than not. It think it's all the whole momma's little boy thing. I have a son and I told my husband to NEVER let me do to our son what his mom was doing to us. But I can't say I necessarily hate her, but she drives me INSANE. We usually get along fine, but we are not afraid to put her in her place when necessary.
2007-03-07 20:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zanzibar, let me ask you a question. Is your hate-filled, uncompromising, judgemental attitude getting you ANYWHERE with your husband? I understand that you are feeling protective of him, and that you simply can't understand your mother-in-law. BUT isn't there some common ground where you can be polite and respectful, and leave it at that. No one says you have to love her, no one says you have to be best friends. It's not YOUR place to forgive her for past transgressions, that is your husband's place. You are a royal pain in the rear, and I feel sorry for your husband. He went from a weak, pain in the rear Mom, to a strong, pain in the rear wife. GIVE HIM A BREAK and search for a way to let go of this anger you have towards your Mother In Law.....
2007-03-07 20:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you actually *hate* the woman who brought your husband into the world? Hate is a very strong word. My wife doesn't get along with my mother, but she respects her and certainly is compassionate for what her life has been like. You must remember that this is your husband's mother, for Pete's sake, and he came from her, this kind of attitude has to hurt him on a deep level coming from his wife even if he won't say it out loud to you. Mothers and sons have a strong bond, Period. Accept it or you will never be happy and will end up divorced over issues that can be overridden by compassion and understanding.
2007-03-07 20:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Brian 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am really lucky. My in-laws are the most wonderful people! I love my mother-in-law and father-in-law like they are my own parents. I'm sorry you haven't had that experience. My husband likes my mom but I don't think he is that thrilled with my dad.
2007-03-07 20:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by iceemama 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law is awesome. They do things a little differently than my family and are a little more closed off, but we have learned to respect each other and love each other in our own ways.
2007-03-07 20:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by Momma 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hated my ex MIL but my current one is wonderful. It really depends if the woman has a life and if she wasn't scorned. My first MIL's husband left her for broke for another woman. Maybe that explained a few things...
2007-03-08 02:04:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋