A lady friend of mine asked me if I would have a baby with her...BUT (There is always a but)?

Question

She is just a friend who I have known for years now, We get on well as friends. She has asked me if I would father a child with her. Now I am not being funny or clever here but I know she is VERY promiscuous (she has told me she is on the pill hence no pregnancy) Now I love my health (it is my best possession) so I dont want any nasty STD,S that she MIGHT have. Dont know what to do, Good advice please.

Answer 1

well...you can either tell her to go get tested and then check the results or you can donate your sperm and she can be artificially inseminated with it...good luck

Answer 2

Getting an STD is the least of your worries! She could try and claim maintenance for the child from you. Do you think it's good for a child to be brought up in a home where there are different blokes coming and going all the time? Sounds like she lacks self respect. If she can't look after herelf how could she look after a baby.

Answer 3

i wouldn't do that. unless she has seriously been trying for a while and is really serious about wanting one and you don't mind the babies mama drama (yes you will have some even if you're unattached and aren't looking for a girl yourself) then it's a horrible idea. it won't lead to a relationship, and it can certainly ruin the friendship that you do have with her. i wouldn't recommend that any more than i'd recommend a woman carrying a child for some unfortunate couple who can't concieve on their own.

far as STDs if you've never been with her, and aren't interested in hooking up with her, then why would you take that chance? even if she isn't showing any signs, and doesn't feel sick she still could be. if it is your best possession, and i can relate to that that argument has kept me out of a lot of trouble so far (30 odd years) and (with my fingers crossed), it'll continue to keep me out of the woods and she takes that from you for her own selfishness i'd think that unforgivable in your eyes.

if she really presses the issue the best route would be to do insemination and not even broach the "deed" with her. then, save the friendship issues, the worst that could happen is that you get attached to the child and you're dissillusioned about starting a family with the girl. don't be suprised if she is willing to give up her promiscuity for that, or if nothing else, for the sake of raising the child up right in and of itself. stranger things have happened ...

Answer 4

First of all, make sure you understand what the terms of fathering a child for her would be (involvement in the child's life, etc.) Next, honestly ask yourself if she is in an ideal situation to raise a child as far as money, lifestyle, living arrangements, etc. Would a kid be truly happy growing up under her care? Lastly, if you've talked it through and thought it over and decided that you are morally ok with going through with it, then both of you need to get tested for STDs and for whether or not you are carriers for any genetic disorders that might manifest themselves in a child you two create. You owe it to yourself and her to make sure that if you have a child, everyone (baby included) will be as healthy as they can be. Good luck!

Answer 5

I've never understood this concept....why would you father a child with some you don't want to spend the rest of your life with? What if you meet someone who you DO want to spend your life with but you've got this "baby's mama" that your just friends with. What would you tell the child? I personally find it selfish for adults to bring children into the world when the adults are not thinking straight. About the STDs....why even risk it? What about your future partners? That's not fair to them....do you really want to have a child with someone who you know sleeps around? What kind of mother would that make? Please think about this long and hard, I am not trying to be on a high horse, just please think about the best interest of the possible child.

Answer 6

Do Not Do This. Tell her there are many reputable sperm banks where she can be artificially inseminated and have a child without involving a man who just might want to be a father. Stay out of this mess or you will be sorry and an STD is the least of it

Answer 7

This sounds like an absolutely horrible situation waiting to happen. You are right to worry about your health (especially if she's how you said she is), and also, I would worry about my finances. At the moment she is making it seem like you wouldn't be responsible for the child aside from helping her to get it, but who is to say down the road she won't snare you into a legal battle over money in regards to this? Not only will that be bad for you, especially since from your question it seems like you weren't considering having a child (at least with her), but also bad for the child. I think it sounds like a terrible idea and I would say no.

Answer 8

Ask her to go to clinic for a complete physical. She doesn't want to have a baby if she has ANY stds.
Otherwise, as you know having a baby with her is a lifelong committment. You will have a son or daughter, and so on.
Beyond this, no one should give an opinon, it is up to the both of you. The best of luck all the way round.

--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 9

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Answer 10

a baby is a very big responsibility and u shouldn't just have a baby with any body. make sure u can get along with that person because you will have to deal with her for the next 18 years. Also you want to have a baby with someone you love to be there during her pregnancy. its a wonderful thing. babies are such a blessing. and if your not sure about the STD's, don't do it

Answer 11

Tell you as much as you love her as a friend you don't think this is the right choice for you ,but you will be there to support her if she chooses to persue this with someone else.Tell her to also think of the trouble this could bring to her e.g future custody battle with the father she chooses. Be true to yourself,if she is a good friend she will understand.