I been through alot with my soon to be ex hubby. Then I ended up falling for a guy who hurt me in the end. I am a mother and I concentrate fully on my kids. I stopped dating and have no interest. I want to have a relationship, but I feel so damaged that I have no real interest. I get approached by guys, but lately I make excuses. i just want to be alone. Will this change? When will I trust again?
2007-03-07 11:47:00 · 10 answers · asked by new life abundant 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry you have to go thru so much pain..sometimes life is unfair, but you know what...there's a lot more to be happy about than to be sad! I don't know what you've been thru, but my best advice, is to maybe just take a little break for yourself. Don't stress about dating or meeting a new guy, just focus on finding things that make you happy (besides a relationship). It is super healing and you will see once you find things you love to do, everything else comes easier. Eventhough you may want a relationship, I don't think you are fully ready yet.
Try packing a small lunch (depending on age of your children?) and going to a park and just read to your kids. I don't know...take this time to be single, and enjoy it....surround yourself with good friends and family, and just smile! It takes time...but you are strong and you can overcome it. Goodluck.
2007-03-07 11:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if what you have is situational depression, which manifests itself as a lack of interest in sex (and probably other pleasures as well). You need time to recover. If you're not feeling better in 6 months on your own, you might benefit from therapy and anti-depressant medication. It's hard to be rejected (Goddess knows it happened to me often enough). It's even hard to fail at a relationship.
You may, like some people, be able to get all your emotional needs met from your kids and your friends. If not, though, don't give up on love entirely. Doing that will only keep you miserable. On the other hand, choose wisely.
2007-03-07 11:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A very wise person once told me...
"The time it takes you to get over your hurt is usually how long you were together, times two."
The pain will end, and you will feel much better. You have to work on yourself, before you start a relationship. Just do some casual dating..get out on the scene again..nothing serious. There is nothing wrong with that. Make sure you tell the kids, that you are not replacing their daddy...
2007-03-07 11:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Bevin M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing when my children were young and stopped dating and concentrated on just work and my children. For me it hasn't changed, my children are grown and have families of their own and I still can't date anyone. I left him ten years ago and even though I don't like being alone, I think that being alone is sometimes better then the h*ll I went through.
2007-03-07 11:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first and foremost take a break to focus on yourself needs and wants get to know yourself again then IF or when your ready start dating unfortunately only way to find out if you can trust a person or not is waiting until they break your trust but by the things that the others did you should be able to read some of the tell tale signs but never give up hope or the right one will come along and you will force him right out of your life
2007-03-07 11:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by doobiemanrfrank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need time to heal and being alone will not hurt you it will only make you stronger . When the time is right you will get back up on the horse and ride again..
2007-03-07 11:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Yvonne M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be alone for as long as you feel you need to be. You will know when the time is right again. Most people wont understand why I just said that, but I'm sure you do.
2007-03-07 11:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by Jack 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into anything. Just be truthfully to who ever is hitting on you and if he looking to get laid then he will walk away but if he want a relationship he will stick around.
2007-03-07 11:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by C M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you just need time to heal before jumping into another relationship
2007-03-07 11:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you;re ready, you're ready. Don't push it. Do what you're doing with your kids, take care of yourself and time will tell. Be safe.
2007-03-07 11:50:47 · answer #10 · answered by ark 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋