things have always been like this but i just think it me.i do alot for him(gifts,parties,cleaning,backrubs ect.)and allways have but i have to wonder if he even thinks about me when i'm not right in front of his face.for example he "forgot" to get my anything for valintines day,not even a card.said he just did not get around to it yet well 3 weeks later he still has not.if i don't remind him my b-day is comming up he would forget that to,i have to plan my own party if i want one.i don't expect expensive gifts but a card would be nice. he knows how i feel when he forgets these things but he acts like he just does not care.
2007-03-07 11:40:19 · 14 answers · asked by sarah67martin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
to make this worse i'm friends with someone who knew my fiance when he was married to his 1st wife.told me my fiance would give his 1st wife flowers,cards,gifts all the time.so how come he forgets me?
2007-03-07 11:42:14 · update #1
I think your fiance is becoming complacent and I think he needs something to wake him up. What I would do, but you have to be strong to do this, is tell him again that you feel unappreciated and unloved, and you do not like the fact that he never remembers Valentine's Day or your birthday or other milestones. If he acts uncaring, take off your engagement ring and put in the palm of his hand and tell him the engagement is off and just walk away. He is taking you for granted dear, and it is quite obvious that you know things are not right and you want it to change but you don't know how. Now you hear that he treated his first wife differently remembering important days and birthdays etc. so what is up with that behavior? Something is not right with this guy, and if you marry him, it won't get any better, it will get worse. Stop all gifts to him, don't give him any more parties and stop cleaning for him. You are not a doormat..because that is what he thinks you are I think. Show him that you have gained back your self esteem, and you are not going to be his slave anymore and take his indifference anymore. Stop buying his love and affection? It seems to be very one sided. If it isn't there, it isn't. So, what you have to do is give him back his ring and shock him into reality. Tell him that you want respect, love and you want him to show some caring and you want to be remembered on important days and milestones. Also tell him you are tired of his indifference and him making you a doormat. If he laughs it off break the engagement and move on and never look back as he may be trying to give you a message that he does not love you enough. I wish you the best of luck and don't let him lie his way out of this.
2007-03-08 16:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it particularly is what it particularly is often going to be like once you get married. no longer something will exchange. that is going to in user-friendly terms worsen. i'm no longer often so detrimental whether that's the fact. You adult males are already enjoying married roles, as long as you have been jointly. If those are the failings you relatively need, then you particularly could evaluate getting out of this courting formerly you're caught in it. formerly you're married. formerly you have little ones. Its okay to need better than what he's giving you. in case you sense that the courting isn't working, you have 2 concepts: stay with him and are available to a selection that those issues do no longer rely & exchange what you think of is the extra significant issues in a courting, or, go away him and circulate directly to extra effectual pastures.
2016-09-30 08:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you from experience-- If a guy treats you like that then he is not really concerned about you. Stop doing things for him and see what happens. I bet you will be gone in a hurry. Find someone who will love you unconditionally and will remember even the little things about you as with the bigger things that really matter.
2007-03-07 11:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by childofgod4_evr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, do yourself a favor and get out while you can. I am not trying to be materialistic, so I hope it is not coming off that way. If these things are important to you, you know it should be atleast similar in importance to your fiance'. If this bugs you now, imagine being married to it. Do you want a divorce?
2007-03-07 11:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by jessiekarma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he did all the right stuff first time around and it didn't do him any good. Just give some good hints and if he doesn't remember forget him a time or two bet he remembers then.
2007-03-07 11:58:49 · answer #5 · answered by dpascoe8692 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you aren't really engaged until you have a wedding date set, so I hope you think about this. I don't think your BF has "forgot" anything at all - he is just being passive aggressive. He knows he should be getting you things, but because he isn't, he is showing his resentment or something. Big red flag....
2007-03-07 21:59:08 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remind guys about stuff like this. I've been married ten years, and my husband still can't remember when my birthday is. I constantly remind him of special days all the time.
2007-03-07 11:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by pawt72 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down and tell him how it makes you feel when he does this crap and forgets. Maybe he doesn't understand what it means to you and thinks it's no big deal. If your going to marry this guy you better start talking to him.
2007-03-07 11:53:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is probably not over his ex wife but talk about it and ask questions if you r worried ; if u think that he still kind of have feelings let him go I know it might hurt just let him go if you have too.
2007-03-07 11:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is hurt from his previous relationship and don't care as much as he did just talk to him about it and if it doesn't go well ask him do he still have feelings forhis ex wife
2007-03-07 11:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋