My inlaws think im a gold digger..?

Question

I have been with my partner for 6 years, and am having his second baby. He comes from a fairly well off family and i grew up in a large family with no money. I often get a bad vibe from his parents, they make comments when he is not around that i take offence to then if i ask my husband to question them they say they didnt mean it in a bad way. He alwyas believes them and thinks they are saints, when I know they are not. He has told me when he was drunk they are worried im going to take everything they worked hard for, which I have no intention of doing, but if they keep being mean it will make it alot easier to do. Im sick of a mumma's boy at 27, when will he grow up??

Answer 1

Give it time, they will mess up and do something obvious in front of him and things will change then. You can't force him to see what he does not want to see. I know this because my husbands family did it too me for years, until one day my MIL crossed the line in front of my hubby, her her precious little boy gave it to her straight, We are together, shut up or leave. It took a while because he then had to deal with my SIL's who thought because mom did it it was OK. Hubby finally saw things the way they really were and although it took a while he stood his ground and life has been sooooo much better. My mother in law and I get along great, and my youngest SIL and I are best friends. Give it time....time for your husband too see them as they really are, and then time for them to heal...they will be hurt and angry when he chooses you, and then slowly things will get better, if you want it bad enough, you have to have the Patience to wait for it.

Answer 2

When will he grow up? Or What should you do to put a stop to this? Two totally different questions as your husband will always be a "mumma's boy" - he's been coddled all his life: this means love and security to him. Getting your inlaws to back off on the "gold digger" vibe is unrelated to this, and easily done. If you truly aren't interested in his money, then its time for a pre-nup that the both of you design and agree to. Once a legal document exists detail what you will - and won't - be priviledge to, then the in-laws will have no fuel for their fire.

However, don't expect a magic bullet solution - certainly your in-laws have a closed mind when it comes to their opinion of you and it may be that they feel their son has gone "scumming" and chosen a women beneath his "station" as you are not a person from a wealthy family. It's like the old Greek mythological monster, the Hydrea (spelling?) where when one head is cut off, up spring two more in it's place.

Good luck to you and remember - what matters most are those CHILDREN. If EVER anyone loses sight of that, makes a foul comment in their presence, or in anyway harms those children emotionally or physically, their behavior is irreprehensible and they should not have to suffer it.

Answer 3

People can change, but we also shouldn't TRY to change them. I can understand how you're upset. I went through the same thing. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years and we had a child together. Until our last day, and even still now, he continues to be a Momma's Boy and he's 27 as well.

I went through what you're going through when I was pregnant with my first daughter (she was to him). His mother, on the phone, said that I was lucky I wasn't there because it was either me or the cat going through the plate glass window. She asked MY MOTHER at our baby shower if she thought I had planned all of this because he was just graduating college and I did it so he wouldn't be able to break up with me (which wasn't happening anyway since we were planning to move together) and more things like that (I wanted to benefit from his being an engineer). He refused to believe any of it saying that it was all talk, and he's sure he never accused me of getting pregnant on purpose.

I don't know for sure if he will ever change. I wish I had more words of encouragement, but I don't. Hopefully this just let you feel like you're not alone. I wouldn't give up on talking to him, honestly. Or, could you possibly talk straight to your in-laws??

Good luck!!!!

Answer 4

♥ this sounds SO much like wat my friend went thru. my friend had been with her boyfriend 4 at least 5 months, and she was very happy with him. however, his parents thought she was a golddigger. his mom would even call him with his phone on speaker, and she would say that she was a golddigger. he NEVER once took up 4 her, and she was on the edge of blowin up. she would act snooty around her and everything, and it even got 2 where his dad was actin funny around her. she just broke up with him, and i was rite behind her every step of the way bcuz it's his JOB 2 defend u. u r his wife! i think u should talk 2 him. also, if he is bringin u in2 it and sayin that u r tryin 2 take something of theirs, i'd be SO angry. u seriously need 2 talk 2 him, and tell him that u would never try 2 take something that they worked hard 4. i think they're tryin 2 make him believe that, cuz they don't like u. just talk 2 him, and tell him the truth. he shouldn't b treatin u like this. u r his wife, and he needs 2 grow up. he should've left his mommy's nest mentally, not just physically. ♥

Answer 5

If she is claiming advantages illegally, document her to Social protection, you do not favor to furnish your call. perhaps your brother would not understand she is doing this and with somewhat of luck it is going to wake him as a lot because the very undeniable truth that she isn't something yet a waste of area. If she is this kind of stunner, why isn't she utilizing that to make her own funds by technique of modelling or something. Too lazy?

Answer 6

Seems you have some snooty parents that don't feel you are good enough for their dear little boy.
Don't feel bad, parents like that really don't find anyone is good enough for their little angel.
Time for you husband to stand by your side and set them straight.
If he refuses, you will have to decide wether you want to stay in the situation you are until they finally die, or get out.

Answer 7

Probably he will never grow up. You just be the best wife you can and out live then and stay with their son, tell them, you love your husband and that is enough.

Answer 8

Well you just need to try not to worry about what they think, you can prove them wrong! If he is a mamma's boy just deal with it, but if his parents are being negative he will eventually see it, but they are his parents so he may have a hard time admitting they are wrong.. just don't worry about them!